File Under Messy

In my natural state, I am not an organized human being. In general I am one of those people that "knows where everything is" but whose life makes you want to call TLC. When I came back from vacation I learned that just because I personally know where everything is it doesn't mean that its the best operating system for one that is working in, you know...Corporate America or whatever.

This is part of a larger trend in my life, not only am I disorganized but because I approach every task that I am confronted with as a RACE, important details often go unnoticed. As a young kid my handwriting and my art projects were ALWAYS the ugliest in the class - every painting ended up brown. The part of my brain that cared about things like that (you know, staying in the lines, staying organized and staying on top of things) did not turn on until about...well like two years ago.

Luckily as I get older I realize this about myself. I have had to re-learn how to read directions because 9 times out of 10 I will miss one small but very important step. But what is really annoying is when I literally OBSESS over every detail of something- I tell myself, Schuman, You are totally going to fuck this up so what you need to do is 1. Slow down and 2. Read the god damn directions all the way through for once. It is when I do these things that I have almost an entire day full of pride - PRIDE I SAY, in a job well done. I think to myself, wow, if this is what being organized is like sign me up!

It is after this day of pride that I eventually come to the realization that I totally forgot one key part of the task that I so obsessed over. That saying "A stitch in time saves nine" no longer applies, because if I had rushed through what I was doing to begin with, I would naturally forget something, but could go back and fix it and still be within the time frame that I was in when I "slowed down and took my time".

This is the most frustrating thing ever and try as I might I can't seem to find a way to categorize this problem as "My Parent's Fault".

Pro

I've got a question for the ladies:

Does your man watch football?

I mean does he WATCH football??

See some of you might think he does- after all he welcomes football season each year by "calling dibs" on that one comfy spot on the couch and watches every home team game like a complete television Nazi.

But your man does not watch football.



Not unless he watches EVERY SINGLE NFL GAME that he can get his eyes on.

No No- EVERY SINGLE GAME.

The 49ers are playing? NICE! I need to see what's up with J.T. O'Sullivan!!

THE RAVENS PLAY THE STEELERS... tonight??! Our future kids college tuition is riding on this game. Joe Flacco better pull this out...

Raiders play the Chargers? I just think that little Sproles guy is so cute.

Do not even tell me that the Packers are playing the Buccaneers because I will be forced to cancel my Sunday. DIBS!! DIBS DIBS DIBS ON THAT COUCH.

Even if your man does do all of these adorable things...Does he then spend the remaining hours of the week scouting their own personal NFL team by watching every college football game known to man?

Can you whistle the ESPN football theme song?

Do you know what its like to have a boyfriend that is hopelessly in love with Brett Favre?

After countless hours of being subjected to Sports Center do you now feel that they have the best news program on television? Seriously?

Does watching football in your house count as credits towards watching TLC's What Not to Wear?

Did your man buy you an NFL jersey for Christmas?

Did you kind of want it....?

Leprechaun

Yesterday I took an evening walk to our local grocery store which is just three blocks away and within our complex. We go there so often that Jon has full-on conversations with the guys that work there each time we stop by. And that is usually 6 times a week. We don't know their names but there are three guys- one of them has spiderwebs tattooed on both of his elbows, one other does not but is of the same age, and one is older but is always there. They are known as Spidey, Homeboy and The Other Dude. (Buying tampons there is awesome).

So I was walking there and I suddenly had a feeling. A LUCKY feeling. I can't explain it. The weather was nice and the walk made me feel like I was back in Rome walking to the nearby and privately owned Coca Cola vendor.

I thought back to third grade (1992-1993). In third grade we had bi-weekly raffles in which the entire class would either submit points for citizenship or guess a certain amount in a jar and win: I WON FOR LIKE THREE MONTHS STRAIGHT. I am not kidding. And after I won for three months straight someone's dad came in to talk about abalone fishing and brought a shell in to raffle: I won that shit too. Everyone said "awwww. Maaaaan. Gossshhh" My teacher (Miss Shmagranoff) turned to the dad and said "She always wins".

I mean, I WAS born on St. Patrick's Day.

Cut to yesterday: Lottery drawing day. How lucky is it that I decide that I am lucky on the very day that they pick the numbers? I buy the tickets from The Other Dude. I tell him: "I'm feeling lucky: I'll take two". We banter about it, he sincerely wishes me good luck and I walk home thinking about whether or not I will go to work the next day after I win tonight (after all, I just took three weeks off).

In the time from when I buy the tickets to the drawing I totally forget all of life's complexities. Why worry about laundry and cleaning and feeding myself when in a few hours I will hire someone to do it for me? I start to think about holding that big old check and choosing between the lump sum (what I really really want) and the annual payments (so like...would I still have to work?).

Such was the case yesterday. Which is sort of why I didn't write a blog. It's not that I make money from it(the blog) or need to...I just thought about how awesome it would be for my post to be as THIS WEEK'S SUPER LOTTO WINNER!!

Anyways. Brace yourselves, because I have some news.

I did not win.

Cut back to FIFTH grade. We had a drawing based on the year's citizenship and scholarship points. I had like 33 tickets in the raffle box which was oh so many (I was the fucking vice-president you would hope I know my shit) and I did not win a god damn thing in the raffle.

Oh the reality of life and lotto.

Smart people would say it is a lesson in mathematics, and odds. I say its fucking bullshit if my luck ran out in elementary school.

Luckily I am lucky in a lot of other ways.

IL Comandante

While we were on the ferry going from Italy to Spain we were fortunate enough to have a little bit of evening entertainment. The slots, the sea, the beverages and the completely unexpected karaoke session.

A rag tag group of Euro Hipster men wore headset microphones like Brittany, Madonna and the Jacksons do. They played a lot of songs we had never heard of and their job was to get the crowd "hyped up". They kicked off an open mic karaoke set by calling up an elderly Italian gentlemen that killed whatever song it was that he was singing. No one was dying to jump up on stage after him- tough act to follow.

This is a situation in which only a leader will step up- in our case it was the "Commander" of the ship. Before we knew it "Il Comandante" had taken over the stage for more than 3 songs! His unbuttoned sailors uniform, his well timed scats along with the music and of course his small yet decidedly cruise ship style dance moves made me wonder when and where he learned how to drive ships...

The Flying Frenchman

This week I'm planning on posting small highlights of our recent trip to Europe in photos, short essays and videos that did not make the original posts. This way I can milk my vacation for all that it is worth.

The following is a video of a man that we saw while we were in Amsterdam one night. When we first walked by him he was sitting on the sidewalk leaning up against a canal bridge. His eyes were almost all the way closed as he threw his belongings one at a time out of his backpack, cursing the very world that we cohabitate. At first I thought that he was just very drunk but the events that ensued once we sat down at a nearby restaurant patio led us to believe that perhaps this particular French man was in fact under the influence of one of Amsterdam's more potent substances- say, magic mushrooms?

I think the most hilarious part of the entire hour that we observed him was his constant threat of jumping into the canal (see 41 seconds into the video). After three or four scares we decided that he was definitely not serious but was desperately seeking attention from any and all that walked by. And he got it from us...He just may not have realized...

During the time we sat and enjoyed our drinks he danced, engaged the trash can in a very serious conversation, threw items into the street, very nearly dropped his entire bag into the canal and was stood up to by what turned out to be a compassionate Dutchman.

Something fun about the blog is that I am constantly learning how to do new things- today it was adding background music to a video. Hope you enjoy-

The Prodigal Blogger Returns

On our last full day in Amsterdam Jon and I decided to go to the newly opened science museum- it is in such an amazingly cool building that we figured whatever was inside had to be awesome.



We assumed it would be a lot like the Science Center at Balboa Park in San Diego- or the Exploratorium in San Francisco. And it was- only the amount of primary colors the moment we entered told us that perhaps this particular science center was geared towards individuals of a slightly younger age. Each level had exhibits for different aged children and when we got to the "Teen level" we were actually surprised at the material available. It was all sex oriented and there was a pink hallway called "The Tunnel of Love" that was like a mini tour through the red light district. There were 30 sets of those wooden figures that artists use to draw the human body, except these figures were put in all different kinds of sexual positions and Jon and I were surprised having not even considered what sex ed is like in other (more liberal)countries.

We went to dinner with Jon's partners (Jeff and Adam) the night before we left Amsterdam. Just below Jeff's place is a small restaurant that has a limited menu each night and just enough seats for about 5 groups. Dinner was SO good and it was nice to go to a small place where even the chef came by to check on the meal.

Hesitant to just return to our hotel on our last night in Amsterdam we then went out and had a few drinks at which time we caught a French man on video who must have been having either the best or the worst psychedelic trip of all time. That will come in the next blog.

The next morning we got our things together and made our way back to the train station and bid a fond farewell to Amsterdam. Our train ride was about 5 hours and we arrived in Paris in the late afternoon.



Unfortunately we only had one night there- and the Louvre closed early that day so after checking in to our hotel we took a long walk to the Eiffel Tower and by the time we reached it it was dark.





We went up and saw the city and I have to say- I'm not sure when it happened but like I am a total WUSS these days. I get scared at the top of a staircase. As soon as we got in the elevator up my palms turned into sweat machines.

We ate the best dinner of the trip during our last night. We stopped at a restaurant just down the street from the Eiffel Tower where we chatted with 2 American women that had been on the road for a month as well. It was fun to compare notes. We also chatted with a girl that was about our age from Mexico. She had arrived 11 days earlier and when she got to the airport in Milan she couldn't find any of her friends- she waited all day until it was nighttime and then had to decide whether she'd do the trip on her own or she would just go back to Mexico- obviously she decided to travel alone and I cannot express to you how hard that must have been- especially because she didn't speak English. Only Spanish. Jon and I used more Spanish with her than our entire time in Spain and it told us one thing: we SUCK at Spanish. Like what the hell did I do all of those years in Spanish class? Seriously.

We woke up at sunrise the next morning in Paris and got to the airport. The flight from Paris to Toronto was about eight and a half hours and was not nearly as comfortable as business class (a point I started to resent- I got to thinking well who the hell do they think THEY are?? and in this day and age I simply can't believe that we have a curtain separating us and they get their own bathroom- what is this, Versailles??...sheesh). Once in Toronto it was a 5 hour flight home and during that entire flight I wanted to SCREAM out of discomfort. And then suddenly: we were in San Francisco.

Our cab driver home spoke less English than most of the drivers on our trip. When we arrived out front of our place suddenly our driver added like $6.00 extra dollars onto the bill- we paid the rest in the millions of US quarters we had lugged around during out trip- the driver said "I mean, I been waiting for 2 hours at the Airport, Jesus" as though somehow it was our fault that he lacked ambition. When he left, the cab tires peeled out and the driver honked a nice FUCK YOU to us as we made our way to our front door. At that point we didn't even care. It was so good to be home.

We ordered Chinese food, I put on my favorite saggy-butt sweatpants and got way too comfortable on my couch. Our cat who had escaped while we were gone and was outside for about a week was no where to be found and I was worried he might not come back, but when I got up at 5:30 the next morning- jet lagged- I watched the news and by 6am the cat was meowing at the back door.

Later on in the day we met up with Jon's mom to retrieve our children I MEAN our dogs. Now that everyone is home, and resting up after the 3 weeks of strangeness it finally feels like we are back to normal life- I'm looking forward to telling my coworkers about my trip (but not so much looking forward to spending all day at work as opposed to SEEING THE WORLD!)

I have a lot of photos, a few videos and a general synopsis of the trip to share- you know, for a little bit of closure. Those will be up soon.

Now its time to start thinking about where we will go next...I'm thinking somewhere...resorty?

On Procrastination and Amsterdam

I left home 18 days ago and looking back I can't believe all of the places that we have been so far and all of the sights we have seen. It feels nice to return to a city that we have already visited because we sort of know our way around here and it is a little less stressful.

Barcelona was very fun, the GoCar day was a big highlight and we enjoyed tapas, wine and beer by the liter during our stay.





Luckily the night before we departed we decided to check Jon's email to double check that our EasyJet flight did indeed leave at 6am the following morning. But wait a second...it turned out that we didn't have a flight booked at all. We both definitely remember talking about it, Jon says he remembers paying for it, but there was no confirmation email or booking number anywhere. And then I looked on the website and saw that in fact, EasyJet doesn't even fly from Barcelona to Amsterdam so how in the hell were we going to get there? Trains are always an option, but we weren't exactly looking forward to an 18 hour train ride through three countries we traveled through on the way down.

At the last second that evening Jon found a cheap flight on an airline called Vueling (yes, unknown name = death factor automatically goes up by 50%) so we were on for our departure. When the wake up call came at 4am though I was willing to reconsider. Near death and desperately trying not to vomit in front of my Spanish fans (not a morning person), we got to our gate and finally on to our destination: Amsterdam.

Our first order of business was to find a hotel. We loved the place we stayed when we got here two weeks ago- so we thought we would go in and see if they had a room available at the same rate as before. It turns out that it is conference week here in Amsterdam and the rate for that hotel actually tripled- that and every other hotel in fact, so we made a quick decision and chose one that was in our budget while it was still available.

Jon has been meeting with his brother and their partner about some of their touch-screen logistics so yesterday I spent the afternoon cruising the city on my rental bike.



Sometimes riding amongst the cars and the local riders is a little hectic so I parked it at some point and walked to find some paintings to buy to add to the collection. And then I got very very lost. The kind of lost that if it was nighttime I may have set a small fire and held out until morning. I didn't have a map on me and I sure as hell wasn't sure where I went wrong so I just kept on moving and eventually I made it back to my bike and then our hotel for a nap.

I'm going to check out the Van Gough Museum and I also really want to see the famous tulips so in the next 2 days I'll conquer that on my bike. With a map. and GPS.

Until then- check out the stairs that lead up to Jeff's place:

Barcelona and the GoCar Video

Oh my god. This blog entry contains perhaps the funniest piece of video clipage in Schumanator history. Seriously. Jon and I have been cracking up at this video we put together of a little tour we took yesterday for the past 8 hours, literally. I am actually laughing a little bit just thinking about it. More on that later.

The ferry from Civitavecchia, Italy to Barcelona was an awesome change up from the trains we have taken for the rest of the trip. We spent time out in the sun, we played video games and we played the slots (and if Jon would have just TOLD ME TO STOP WHILE I WAS UP I maybe would have walked away “lucky”).

From Barcelona we will fly back to Amsterdam and the next train we will take will be from Amsterdam to Paris so that we can leave from Charles De Gaul airport. Before we left Rome we had a really awesome day seeing the Roman Forum, the Coliseum and the Pantheon. I loved seeing the Coliseum- It just seemed so much more intact than I would have thought. It was a great day and we persevered to see everything despite the ridiculously high temperatures and the inevitable sunburns.







Since arriving in Barcelona we have taken a lot of walks down La Rambla which is the main street in the center of downtown that has countless street vendors (like our guidebook says, from live chickens to blue roses). The number of street performers far surpasses that of any of the other cities we have been to. Literally every 15 steps you see another person dressed up and fully painted and they are expecting tourists to pay for photos and videos.

I of course bought a few more prints to add to my collection and I am excited about them. Homeboy drove a hard bargain.

So we rented a Go Car here in Barcelona yesterday, it is a little car that has 3 wheels that is actually legally registered as a motorcycle which means that essentially it has the smallest scooter engine that is available on the market and yet it is supposed to carry to individuals in a car like setting. At the starting line and up large hills the Go Car is rarely the quickest. There is a GPS Navigation system that actually gives you an AWESOME tour of whatever city you are in, a little robotic woman computer gives you facts, language lessons as well as directions everywhere you go, as long as you are on course.

Before we got lost we saw a couple of Gaudi’s works including La Sagrada Familia and Guell Park. La Sagrada Familia is a church that has been under construction for over 100 years and is not scheduled to be finished until 2020. It was cool to see how Gaudi’s style has affected the architecture of the whole city, I will post photos from the church in a few days when I have a bit more time.

While on the Go Car we encountered a few hills that we thought perhaps the little motor could not accommodate. If you are like my mom and you can’t watch videos at work, you HAVE to watch this at home. Seriously. And when you do, turn the volume up because the Go Car is pretty loud as it struggles up a massive hill. Mom, you will think this is so funny. As you watch, please note the following: The banter between Jon and I that starts at about 19 seconds into the video, And also the small robotic voice of the British woman commenting on the park we are headed to as well as how steep the hill we are climbing is.



While you might not see pedestrians in this video literally each and every person we passed (which was like 10,000 people) stared at us in this thing and a large portion of tourists took photos of us which means we are in the permanent album of their European vacation. One lady stopped us at a green light and Jon and I obliged her photo with matching THUMBS UP BUDDY.

Eventually we started asking for 2 Euros a pop.

Today is our last day here- we leave bright and early tomorrow morning on an Easy Jet back to Holland. Have I mentioned I can count to ten in Dutch now? Looking forward to incorporating that into our daily adventures.

Adios!

Cruising the Mediterranean

Hello from the Mediterranean! When Jon looked into taking a ferry from Rome to Barcelona across the Mediterranean he swore up and down that it would only be a 4 maaaybe 5 hour trip. HA HA JUST KIDDING. Its 20 hours. And here we are. Oh but the good news, the news that makes the entire thing worth while: Our ferry is like a cruise ship fully equipped with bars, restaurants, casino, arcade, shops and pools. Before we left the port town of Civitavecchia I bought a bathing suit and in my haste I did not try it on. I should have remembered that Italian women only grow to weigh approximately 13 pounds because when I tried the bottoms on here on the ship it looked like my ass and thighs were forced between two rubber bands and they were protesting.

I have photos and videos to share of the Roman Forum, the Pantheon and the Colosseum, all of which were amazing. I will post them when we arrive in Barcelona.

Adios por ahora!

When in Rome

Ciao from Rome! We are halfway through our stay here and have already seen a lot of sights. The day we got here we saw the Spanish Steps which is a huge church built high above the streets below that is connected by a series of staircases. At the top of the piazza is a huge Egyptian obelisk. From the bottom of the stairs we continued on to the Fountain of Trevi where I did indeed throw a coin in the water. The fountain is unlike any fountain you have ever seen and it looks more like it should be at Sea World with dolphins swimming in it rather than in the heart of the city because it is so massive.

Yesterday we took the metro to Vatican City and went through St Peter's Basilica which is just so vast it is mind boggling. Unfortunately my camera died just when we got there so I can't post any photos just yet. There are statues all around the perimeter of the square which also has an Egyptian obelisk in the middle. After checking out the church (luckily I did not wear a tank top even though it was 95 degrees or we would have been turned away) we went on to the Vatican Museums. There are so many artifacts there that it could have taken us 10 hours to see each thing adequately but the 30,000 other visitors that we were rubbing arms with the entire time made that somewhat difficult. Indeed, Vatican City has been the MOST crowded place we have gone yet. I think Jon and I were most impressed by the collection of Egyptian things including mummies, sarcophagi and other artifacts uncovered by Catholic tomb raiders. When we got into the Sistine Chapel there were so many people in there that the guards we're getting irritable yelling SHHHHHHHH! They wanted everyone to keep moving so it was difficult to take in all of the detail, but we did see the most famous parts including the image of Michelangelo's skin which is supposed to represent his dissatisfaction that the church censored his work.

Have I mentioned that it is hot in Italy? SO hot, you would not believe and since Jon and I have done more walking than the rest of our lives combined we are definitely "feeling the burn". One day while we were both drenched in sweat I dubbed Jon "Jonny Dew Drop". He loves it.

He has sort of stepped up to be our navigator (right about the same time that I stepped down) and 9 times out of 10 I feel obligated to say that we are "going the wrong way" and I ask "Dude, are you sure its this way?" This has become so common that he has started making up words to his very own song called Sunshine Over the Mountain and the words go like this:

You have no faith in me...
Sunshiiiine
Over the Mountain.

It has been cracking me up. He says by the end of the trip it will be a whole song.

Not to sound like the biggest American asshole ever, but I just can't help but think about my two favorite HBO series' The Sopranos and Rome while being here. I keep thinking about that Sopranos episode where Paulie Walnuts goes to Italy and he gets frustrated because everyone is so rude to him- he keeps trying to give respect to other Italian men by saying "Comandatore!" and they all look at him like he is crazy.

I'm pretty sure, no I am POSITIVE that I saw a music video on Italian MTV yesterday that showed a lot of tourists looking really stupid and by the end of the video all of the tourists were dead. I'm not quite sure what to make of it just yet...

Did I mention that I got some street paintings of Florence before we left? Yes, I love them, they are very unique and now I am on a mission to find more in the other cities we visit. They aren't exactly giving things away in Europe these days. I mean to say that things are not free here- the ones I have seen so far are either falsely claiming to be original, or are too good to be in my price range. Maybe today when we visit the Colosseum and the Pantheon we will see some more options.

Ciao for now!


PS. We are watching the world news and Rome is the hottest city on the map. Hotter than Nairobi!

Florence by Bike

Today Jon and I borrowed the free bikes that our hotel lends out and we rode all over town. While bike riding is the dominant mode of transport in Holland, Florence Italy is ever so slightly more hostile towards cyclists. I think it is because at any given moment in Florence there are at least 375 tourists directly in the way somewhere. Crossing the street on red lights bobbing and weaving through traffic to get to that art vendor...

We rode over to Pontevecchio- a bridge full of jewelry shops and great views of the cityscape. We had gelato (I had the pistachio, it was too yummy) and made our way around the streets and bridges there.



It has been SUPER hot during the day pretty much everywhere we have been and today was no exception, so when we went to the Gallerie de la Accademie the air conditioning was a nice relief. There we saw Michelangelo's statue DAVID which is just massive and more of that foxy vixen the Virgin Mary.

People really haven't been excessively nice to us here- I was having a hard time trying to think of a way to explain it so I asked Jon what he thought of the matter and he said "say so far Italian people are assholes". I might not go quite that far but its true that a large majority of the people that we have had to ask touristy questions of or that have waited on us have been less than cheery.

So we are going to go out to dinner at a place we ate lunch at yesterday called ZaZa because there is a ton of outdoor seating and they had some intensely delicious bruschetta. But before I leave you here is a small window into Jon and I's relationship:

Just before we left the hotel room to ride our bikes Jon was in deep thought as he examined the map of the city. It was one of those moments where I was talking to him- was literally 6 inches away- but knew for CERTAIN that he was not listening at all.

I said, Ok- I have your bike lock key- Here it is. (I gesture to hand it to him, he does not notice)

Jon, (I say) Your key dude, Here. (pause)

Okay, I'm going to put THIS KEY in THIS POCKET on the bag you are WEARING. SEE? Putting the key in now. (He stares intently at the map)

Okay Magellan, (I say) in like 5 minutes you are going to be ready to go and you are going to turn to me and you are going to say "Where is that key?" and I am going to say to you that I fully detailed the whereabouts of your key and you will have no idea what I am talking about.

27 seconds later he says as simply and innocently as he possibly could "Ok, you ready? Where is that key?"

Firenze: Not just a Centaur in Harry Potter

Bonjourno from Italy! We checked into our hotel here in Florence and it is very comfortable. There were even slippers and bathrobes awaiting our arrival! Luckily they weren’t embroidered with my name or anything because then I would be forced to say FUCK IT, we’re moving in.

Apparently getting out of the South of France is a little bit like trying to get out of Hell. Its hot, and they really make it difficult to leave. That being said Jon and I couldn’t give each other enough high-fives for deciding to make our way into Nice- It was the perfect stop-over and we had a lot of good food and spent a lot of time walking around.

We were slightly delayed in heading out because the train that we needed to take was completely full. Consequently we ended up on a later more local train that had a ton of stops. The great part- the part that has made this journey by train no problem-is that the tracks wound around the Mediterranean coasts of France, Monaco and Italy. The architecture and the endless turquoise water were enough to make the first train ride (6 hours) fly by. The second train ride was a little over 2 hours but it was dark out so we didn’t kill any time with the scenery - we just put on a movie. About halfway through the trip the lights turned completely off in the train car we were sitting in and a nice Italian man sitting next to us joked by saying “yes, dis is Italy! Welcome in Italy!” He actually asked if we wanted to take out our map so that he could show us how to get to our hotel which was SO nice of him. We almost certainly would have gotten lost because that is basically the trend that we have set for ourselves thus far. and actually...we still got lost.

Today we woke up and had a little breakfast at our hotel and then arranged for tickets to the Uffizi Gallery- an art museum with the largest collection of Renaissance paintings in the world. It was very cool to see some of the most famous paintings like The Birth of Venus by Botticelli and other paintings by Michelangelo and Rembrandt. The Virgin Mary was apparently very hot shit at that time and frankly I am totally over her. Yes Friend, I have seen enough Mary!

We also checked out a Da Vinci exhibit that had a lot of the machines and inventions he created and then we later visited the massive plaza just down the street.





You may not believe this but I have yet to purchase any souvenirs! I'm thinking about buying a few street paintings of each city we are in, anyone have any other good ideas?

Thanks for reading! More this weekend as our hotel room has internet- CIAO!!

Vive Nice!

Bonjour, bonjour, bonjour from beautiful Nice, France! My my my what a difference a train makes. We caught our train here this morning from Marseilles and sat next to an older woman that was British but lived in Monaco. When we told her we had ended up in the ultra ghetto of Marseilles she looked frightened and perhaps a little bit surprised we made it out unscathed. She said “oh my the dodgy part of Marseilles certainly IS dodgy”.

So apparently it would be like if you were French and you wanted to visit Los Angeles California and somehow you end up in Compton.
Oh but Nice…it is GORGEOUS! It is what we had imagined Marseilles would be. Our hotel is awesome and we already took a walk down the coast which was like being in the Bahamas…but in France. I didn’t know the water would be SO blue. We also had a few Cokes and a light lunch in the typical European style- outside in the sun, watching all of the people pass by. Interesting the differences in the people walking around Amsterdam and the people walking around Nice. Kind of like Bongos versus Boobs.

We have to leave tomorrow because we have reservations in Florence, (and because this hotel is completely booked after today) so tonight we will go out for dinner, have a few drinks and walk around the main streets- Then tomorrow we have a train to catch around 11am. We’ll be in Florence for three nights and then it is on to Rome!

Our hotel room finally has internet so here are a few photos of the last few days…First, Marseilles:
This was the view from out hotel room:





Then, Nice:






Yeah. I think you get it.

France Parts I and II

Bonjour from France! We are in Marseille which is in the South of France, on the Mediterranean. We were planning on heading to Switzerland as I mentioned, but after Jeff and Claudia told Jon that wouldn't be all that awesome we changed our plans and took 8 hours worth of train rides to get here.

We arrived just before 9pm and it was dark and for the second time we had a cab driver tell us that our hotel was too close to drive to. Of course, while walking with our backpacks and our retardedly heavy carry-ons it didn't FEEL too close.
Well...Walking through any city after dark can be a little ghetto I MEAN interesting. At first we weren't sure what to make of it but after checking into our hotel room (and after a few minutes of soul searching) we put on happy faces and headed out for some grub. We went to a fast good place called NADO. The girl behind the counter did not speak English (duh, we are in France) and so when she short changed Jon by 10 Euros (about $15) it was difficult to explain.

I am comfortable saying a few things in French...Hello. How are you? Do you speak English? But if whoever I am speaking with says no to the last question, there is really no back up plan. Luckily Jon is very good at the hand signals. For some reason my brain just defaults to Spanish. When we were trying to explain that Jon had given the girl at the register 20 Euros my mind just kept saying VEINTE! VEINTE! Juanito held up two fingers and then the universal sign for zero and things seemed to work themselves out. Although...for some reason the solution involved both the girl and the manager of the place going into their own wallets.

We took our NADO burgers and our NADO fries back to our hotel room and ate there. I'm not sure what we were expecting but the food wasn't amazing and the name of the restaurant lent itself to such jokes as:
Oh, this burger is NADO so good.
or
This is NADO my favorite.

Something you may not know about Marseille is that it has a very large North African population. There is a very obvious North African influence on the entire city culture. When we went out every corner was filled with large groups of men and the all of the women we saw were well covered. Jon, Ever the closet conservative, suggested perhaps I might want to wear something a little less "form fitting" and unfortunately, I informed him, I left my dashiki back in the states. So I settled for a black hooded sweatshirt that covered my hair line.

Tomorrow we may see what it will take to keep this party moving along. Perhaps Nice?

Stay tuned!

***France Part II***

Au Revoir from Marseille!

So, I guess you could say that Jon and I place considerable stock in first impressions.

Aside from the aforementioned late night walk and NADO so delicious food- we were unfortunate enough to be neighboring with a couple that was having a very frightening domestic dispute. When we woke up this morning we had one thing on our minds: Departure.

The logical part of us said "work it out, see what happens, we may end up loving Marseille". But the impulsive part (which, incidentally is much more dominant) said "Dudes: Get the hell out of Dodge."

So right now we are in the Marseille train station awaiting our train to Nice, France which should be a little bit closer to that French Riviera ideal. We did have a few minutes of frustration- dripping in sweat and walking the distance to and from the train station and attempting to communicate with the locals. I was lucky enough to be assisted by a young man at the ticket office that spoke slightly more English than my French and now our trip is back on track.

My next entry will probably be from Florence Italy- Hope everyone is having a great week- Ciao for now!

4,000 Miles Later

Hallo from Amsterdam! I felt pretty strange once I arrived. The long flight and the time change definitely confused my body clock but I tried to make it to the end of the day without crashing and I actually did. I took one 30 minute nap and was ready to get going again. The internet we have here at the hotel is slow- so I'll only post a photo or two today- stay tuned though- more to come.



Amsterdam is awesome! GORGEOUS. Yesterday was so hot we got sunburned while sitting at the tables out front of our hotel. Our hotel by the way, is amazing. It was the first ever Heineken brewery (a perk I did not know when I booked!) It feels like it is right smack in the middle of downtown- we were able to check in early and so we put our bags down (thank ya jee-zus, they were so heavy) and walked around all morning.
We met up with Jon’s brother who lives here and his girlfriend Claudia (Clow-Dee-Uh). Jeff always manages to get Jon and I to do things we would ordinarily never do ourselves. The 4 of us took 2 bikes-Clau and I sat on the back end side saddle and the guys rode all over town. There was a big festival to mark the beginning of the arts season, so we rode over there- amidst traffic mind you. Tons of people were out. There were boats and bikes and fabulous Dutch people everywhere.
We rode back over to the other side of town to Vondel Park (Jon was dying by then). You would not believe the number of people hanging out with absolutely no agenda. There was hardly a square of grass to be spared. After some snacks and a few drinks we said goodbye to Jeff and Claudia and headed back towards our hotel for dinner.
The Argentinian Grill we ate at was pretty good. We sat outside because the weather was still so nice. I ordered some large prawns that came fully shelled with legs and eyes and I had not idea how to eat them. After one small bite of shell it was pretty clear that I was NOT supposed to eat that part and I could’ve sworn the waiters and bus boys were having a good laugh at my expense. The girl next to me ordered the same prawns and the answer is a definitive NO. I did not eat them correctly.
After a few glasses of wine we went back to the hotel and I think I came in, took my sandals off, and CRASHED fully dressed. The day had finally caught up with me.
We have one more day here and then we check out tomorrow (Tuesday) but I’m glad that we’ll be coming back later on in the trip. We were planning on going to Switzerland from here, but since we didn’t make reservations we’re considering hitting up a different country.
More on that later…

Departure

Ok so I procrastinated. Friday morning rolled around and I hadn’t packed or done laundry. At about 2pm it started to get a little too real. I scrambled to pack and to get anything I needed from the store. I made a reservation for a cab to pick me up at 7:45. I did a little tidying up, loved on the cat and at 7:45 I went outside to wait for my taxi. The trains to the airport were leaving at 8:15 and 8:35. I figured I would at worst catch the second.

At 8:00 I called the cab place to see that they were still coming. I had to dial three times before I spoke with an operator. He told me 10 minutes. Which meant I’d probably miss the first train. But that was fine.

Neighbors walked in and out of their houses as I placed with my backpack and my carry on- anxious to get the show on the road. As each car passed I imagined what I would say to the rat bastard driver that was hindering my trip’s progress. Would I really pay for a cab that was 40 minutes late?

45 minutes after it was supposed to arrive (schumanator is still standing out front) I called the company again, fresh out of patience. I said: I HAD A RESERVATION FOR 7:45. YOU ARE NOW 45 MINUTES LATE. I HAVE A PLANE TO CATCH- I NEED TO KNOW- ARE YOU COMING OR NOT?

He said, I’m sorry miss, we are very busy. I thought I had a cab for you, but I do not. Let me give you a number….
I cut him off to say NO. Thank you but no thank you, Good Day Sir (ok, all but the last part)

So this is enough to make me cry for sure. My closest friend would take at least 20 minutes to get to my place. So I did the only thing I could do. I started knocking on my neighbor’s doors.

1st a young couple about Jon and I’s age. No answer.

Then, the cat people’s house. They often sit in front of their place supervising their cats outdoor time. He sings in Yiddish and sometimes plays a small horn I’ve never seen before. When we moved in they had a cat named Farfal. Since we didn’t know their names we just called them Mr and Mrs Farfal. (We do know their names now).

Luckily Mrs Farfal was home. Fighting the frustration tears I asked her if she would mind taking me to the train station (only about a 5 minute drive). She said she would right away and I was SO grateful. I really didn’t know any other neighbor well enough to ask.

I got to the train and caught the 9:10- 1 hour 20 minutes before my flight. Having never taken BART by myself, let alone to the airport it was all a little stressful. Once I got to SFO I had to hop on the tram to get to the domestic terminal and for a second I thought I got on the one going the wrong way- I very nearly got off and headed the other direction. Luckily I didn’t because my stop was next.

I had about 10 minutes to wait at the gate, then it was time to board. My tickets were business so I sat in the first row. The flight attendants called me by name and by the middle of the flight I finally relaxed.

We landed around 11:45pm. I caught the shuttle to the airport hotel I was staying at- To my surprise it felt a little bit nicer than I had expected. I got into my room at about 12:45 and spoke to Jon on the phone (it was 9:45 am where he was) took a shower and went to bed at about 1:30.

So when my alarm clock went off 4 hours later I thought I would puke from tiredness. I caught the shuttle and went straight to the airport and straight to my gate. My flight was on time and the business seats on this plane were ridiculous! They were like laz-e-boys. But laz-e-boys with televisions and stereos built in. This is essentially what I would be doing at home on a Saturday, so in a way “killing time” was not really a factor. On the tv screen I could look at a map that showed where the plane was, how far it had gone and how many miles were left. I landed in Washington DC and had about a thirty minute layover- everyone in the gate was Dutch! Yesh, Dutch! And I got very excited for the last leg of my journey across the Atlantic.