Monday, November 10, 2008

NORM!

Today was the third time this week (the start of a week being defined by Sunday at 12:00am) that we dropped in to the grocery store that is in our apartment complex. Jon is 100% old boy when it comes to communicating with the local store clerks. Always engaging them...the way you see other people do when you are in line somewhere and you think "How does someone get to know their grocery store clerk so well?" And for Jon it extends to deli clerks and security guards and bank tellers and I imagine if he were an outright alcoholic it might include the local bar patrons as well.

The moment we walk in the front doors:

The Dude: "Hey Man! You watchin' the game?? [Monday Night Football-49ers]

Jon: Oh Yeah Man, did you see that catch Davis had?

The Dude: Those two catches.

- - - Jon and I wander through the isles to gather the contents of my current high protein diet: peanut butter M&Ms and BBQ sunflower seeds... We get in line and as soon as we do so the line doubles in length and there is now a short wait to be checked out. The Dude opens a new line and Jon and I move over after the person that was in front of us. - - -

Jon: Yeah man so that game - How about Sean Hill?

The Dude: I know dude

Jon: And did you hear about that Mike Singletary pulling his pants down thing?

The Dude: Yeah, but so what, you know?

Jon: Totally. (We take our bagged items)

The Dude: You know, everyone that comes in here likes him...So...

Jon: Yeah. Well alright Man, Have a good night!

- - - Jon and I make our way the four blocks back home. We start talking about their constant banter and I say that I have no idea why he harasses me to accompany him to the store if he is just going to engage the guy that works there into a conversation about the sports game that I am dying to turn off at home.- - -

Me: I like that errand though because it is usually the first moment of my day that I absolutely do not even think about what is being said around me; It is ever so zen-like. I just keep a small smile like this (demonstrated smile) on my face as though to say "I am supportive of this masculine interaction"

Jon: Dude I am like Norm in there.

Me: Oh my God you are totally serious too.

Jon: You know, I walk in and everyone is like NOOOOORRRRRRMMMMMMM?!

Me: Totally.

Jon: And I love when they open a new register for us.

Me: Whoa Whoa. You think that with a line that long our frequent patronage can claim responsibility for the entire opening of a new register?

Jon: Hell Yeah man.

Me: That's balderdash.

Jon: Dude it always happens when I am there but I feel like the guy with tattoos is always a little bit offended because he doesn't watch sports and like...I can't shoot the shit with him.