Thursday, November 20, 2008


Lucy is generally a sort of pretty good dog but there a few things that she does that drive me up the fucking wall.

1. Exhibits insane levels of excitement when we
a. come home from somewhere
b. take her anywhere

2. Exhibits bad begging behavior when we are eating.

We had an incident last night concerning issue number 2. Lucy had spent the time that Jon and I were eating dinner right between my feet and the coffee table- Basically watching every bite go from my plate, to my fork, into my mouth, and back. When she is annoying like this I make every attempt to not drop a single morsel of my delicious dinner and I occasionally insist that she be at least two feet away. As soon as I am finished with it she races me into the kitchen in the hopes that I will let her have some scraps or perhaps I might even let her lick my plate. (Which I usually do, and yes that is the root of the problem).

So last night after dinner, Jon had left a piece of dinner bread on the table and then he went upstairs to take a shower. When Lucy thought that I wasn’t looking she grabbed the bread, hauled it as quickly as she could under the table and tried to eat it it as quickly as possible without being noticed. But this time – I noticed. And I said WHAT DID YOU DOOOOO? The words that strike fear in her heart and the words that I sometimes say just to see if she has done anything bad within her memories reach.

COME HERE! I said, and amazingly, while she was still chewing the contraband, she came over to where I was sitting and I reached into her mouth and pulled the bread out of her throat. THAT’S BAAAAADDDD. NO! NO LUCY!

Before he gets in the shower Jon yells from upstairs What did she do??? And I say, dude she ate that piece of bread you left on the table. LUCY, WHAT DID YOU DOOOOO? Jon asked her.

It's cool, I said. I took it back from her.

Then I felt bad, so about thirty seconds later I said: “good girl”.

About an hour went by and we were sitting there watching TV. I periodically looked at the table and saw that the bread was directly in the middle where she couldn’t reach it. I would leave it there to teach her patience.

Two more minutes went by and I looked down and the bread was gone and since I knew the dogs couldn't reach it I said JON!!!

What? He sounded startled

You didn't eat that piece of bread did you??