Monday, July 14, 2008

Murdering Time

The nice part about having a cubicle and computer of my own for the 8 hours that I am at work is the agency I have to do whatever the fuck I want. Seriously, Never have I been more up to date on the latest scientific research, or the state of the stock market or even the cause of algal blooms. I have wikipedia'd the most random and amazing things while trudging through idle minutes. Ever heard of the Narwhal? Fascinating creature. Ever wondered about Edgar Cayce and his special abilities? Have you pondered why the Netherlands represent ORANGE like nobody's business? Or how about the sun dog light phenomenon, or even the personal history of Spike Lee? If so, lets talk...I have answers for you.

Killing time at work is a bit of an art form, is it not? Especially when your desk sits on the outer edges of the cubicle complex like mine does. Just behind me is the community printer and supply room and just to the left of that is the door. If you are coming in and out of the room, need copies, or would like to stock up on those awesome colorful pens we get, you have to stand behind my cubicle. Which probably rules for you because you get to look at my fine ass the whole time, but its not so fun for me. Do I want to have to exit out of the column about Amy Winehouse beating up her bodyguard every time you walk by? No. But am I obligated to? Sort of, yes. Equally as frustrating, I know you do not need anything from the supply room. You were just there yesterday and the day before that and the day before that. (Why can't you just kill time at your desk like the rest of us?) But I understand that there is only so much that one can do at a desk in terms of killing time.
Therefore, some of my other activities include:

1. Going to the bathroom- no one can ever call you out on that, its a safe solid bet.
2. Grabbing a beverage. So what if I've had 6 Dr Peppers today, they're on the house and it allows me to:
3. Throw said beverage container away. Yes- I do have a recycle bin at my desk but then I would not be able to take the 30 second walk I so long for.
4. Sanitizing my work area. SO not my style, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
5. Making unnecessary to-do lists with the awesome company pens.

So, like...What do you do to kill time at work? If I get some good ones I'll post a "best of" list. (TIP: Try not to say anything that will get you fired. Lots of readers out there, you never know...)