Thursday, July 31, 2008

Is the Schumanator Legit? Without a Doubt

I am going to start exercising any day now. I can feel it. Everyday I think about taking a walk around the lake by our house, its about a 4.5 mile walk- which to me sounds like a lot but when I walk there it doesn't feel like a lot, and that is key to any workout routine I might begin. So today I really, really struggled with the question: To walk or not to walk?

I decided that the only way I would ever be able to sort this mystery out is if I had a Magic 8 Ball. Of course I didn't have one but it only took a second for me to remember my other boyfriend. The internet. Oh, the sweet sweet internet!

This is the first site that came up and it was just what I needed. I submitted my question:

Should I take a walk around the lake today?

It said: No Way!

And I was like Fuckin-A, Maybe tomorrow.

And then I started submitting all kinds of questions because life is a lot easier when someone makes decisions for you:

Will I age well? Ask again later (hm, not the best sign)
Will I find "the meaning of life"? Definitely (Rock and Roll!)
Will my kids be assholes? Definitely
Will child birth be the worst fucking thing ever? Outlook not so good (YIKES)
Will I at least have time to be drugged up before? Yes (Thank Christ)
Do I kick all other question askers asses? Absolutely!
Do the engineers of this website get to see the questions that are submitted: Definitely
Have you seen my blog: Schumanator.Blogspot.Com? Ask again later (I assume they are going to check it out)
Did you realize that that last question was shameless self-promotion? Definitely.

So I mean, the evidence is here, I don't think there is a single human being on the planet that keeps it as real as the Magic 8 Ball. Every answer I got made perfect sense.

And then I pushed my luck, which is oh-so typical:

Am I going to fucking die on the way to Europe? YES
Do you realize you keep it way too real? No Way!
You cheeky motherfucker lets take this outside? Maybe
What are you, Yellow? Ask again later
Fine, But I think we BOTH know who won this round? Maybe
Don't give me that shit, are you going to step up or not? My sources say no

In summation: I told that "Magic" 8 Ball what's what.

Schumanator is way smarter than you, huh? Definitely.