Wednesday, July 2, 2008

I Have a Harry Potter Scar

It's true I do, just over my right eye. I can't like see Lord Voldemort's thoughts or feel his pain, but I do feel a little bit queasy if I press on it.
When I was four years old I was riding my brother's Big Wheel around the top of our driveway. I was wavin' at the fellas, eyeballing myself in the mirrors, feeling like an all around Rockstar and I guess I got carried away. The house we lived in had one of those extra long driveways and whats more is it was steep. I slowly took off down the driveway, I remember seeing the white rocks that lined either side of it start to move by more and more quickly. By the time my mom, who was gardening bless her heart, saw me fly by like a bat out of hell, holding tightly to the handles, eyes glassing over from the wind it was too late. I rolled straight across the street and hit the curb on the other side. At this point I flew off the Big Wheel head first and landed with my head on a dried up heap of cement that someone had discarded on the empty lot. It came to a point and I hit it right above my right eye.
The next thing that I remember is my mom carrying me up the driveway- totally upset. (I was like shit mom, play it cool). She took me inside the house, sat me on the kitchen counter and held a wash cloth on my head.
Cut to 5 minutes later and my brother who was 6 years old and I were in the car on the way to the doctor. I think it was nearing rush hour and my mom thought the back roads would be faster but they were also incredibly curvy and as we wound around making our way through the hills my brother started feeling sick.
Well I don't know if you can "start" to feel sick as a 6 year old, I think you just...Get sick.
And boy did he. All I know is that he was so car sick that my bleeding head injury had to take a backseat for a hot second. I think he threw up on the side of the road for awhile, but at some point we had to get going. If he was to get sick he'd have to do it in the big blanket that was in the trunk. We were almost there.
(Right now my mom is thinking: Jesus Christ, you make me look the worst mom ever)
I remember that getting stitches generally sucked. I remember throwing a big ass fucking fit because a bunch of big men in white coats were stabbing at my very recent head trauma site. They threw some very calming white paper thing on my head- I swear to god they gassed me FOR STITCHES, at 4 years old (is there a lawsuit there?)
Later on, apparently when I came to, we were in the waiting room getting ready to go. My mom was sitting in her chair and she suddenly fainted.
No shit.
She fainted. A nurse asked if she was alright and she brought her some water in a white "I heart Nurses" mug.

All in all, I would say that this was one of the shittiest days as a collective family growing up. And I think that my mom and brother would concur.

So yeah, I have a scar above my right eye. And actually that eyelid seems to rest juuuust slightly lower than the left and when I very seriously brought this up to my mom, she said:

Oh, Maybe we should sue.

(She was being sarcastic)