Tuesday, April 8, 2008

PART III: The Most Shit Talkinist PreSchool Ever

The following entry is the final episode in a miniseries of III entitled "A Series of Unfortunate Employments" wherein the author (myself) will discuss her three previous places of employment and how and why each one was so woefully unbearable.

Montessori Preschool
* (Two years of raising your kid)
1. I don't care who you or your husband are, the moment you drop your kid off at this school THEY ARE SHIT TALKING YOU. About Everything: How you forgot your kid's jacket, how you don't spend enough time with your kid, how your kid is a total asshole (because you are one too), that you look like you're getting "pregnant" when they know full well you are not, that you are flirting with the dads, that you smuggle food out of school functions, that you are "not doing your child any favors" by dressing that way, that when your child goes to kindergarten you and he/she will have a serious and rude awakening

2. Woman that owned and ran school was ancient and because the children in our class were scared of her yet totally enamored with dinosaurs, the teacher that I taught with nicknamed her Montesaurus. Now that is funny.

3. Hideous and angry woman with attitude up the ass named KIM** thinks she's better than you but in fact could never master preschool herself (perhaps the reason for her anger/resentment in the preschool environment).

4. We were not allowed to give the children black paint or markers for art projects. They also had to leave their trench coats, black lace up boots and KISS make-up at home because with kids these days....you just never know.

*Not the school's real name
**Definitely her real name. Total bitch.