Tuesday, March 31, 2009


It feels like a lot of shit is going on in my Television life right now. I mean, just pure and utter chaos on some fronts.

Because all I can think of when I get home from work is curling up on the couch and turning off my brain to watch some tube - I think it would be appropriate to update you on the happenings in my MOST favorite television shows. Who knows, maybe you (guiltily) watch some of the same ones and can contribute...

1. LOST. I could watch this show every week for the rest of my life and if you asked me what it was "about" I could not fucking tell you. I love it, I am utterly devoted to it and last week when our DVR messed up the sound on the entire thing I wanted to poke my eyes out - but this show never satisfies me. Ever. And the worst thing is that I know that the last and final episode is going to leave me just as unsatisfied as every episode in the entire show's run has.

But while I would prefer to avoid the hassle altogether...If it's all the same to you, I think I'll keep watching. I need any modicum I of closure I can get.

2. AMERICAN IDOL. First of all it's a long time coming that I even admit to watching this show. But now that I have, here are my comments:
  • a. I think that Simon, at one point, was banging Paula and now is definitely down with the potential of doing Cah-Rah and every time Paula says something ridiculous, he looks at "Cah-Rah" and says...See what I mean?
  • b. I don't have a favorite really. I like Megan but I mostly just like her tattoo and style. I'm down with Danny, but it's not really fun to pick the obvious - and as Jon pointed out, so rarely does the early front runner win. I thought Matt was awesome tonight, but the judges' commentary made me think he was entirely uncool. Anoop Dog was my man before, but it would just be foolish to pick him at this stage in the game.
  • c. Allion is pretty good, but the first thing I said when she walked out was "W-O-W, would you look at that mullet? That dress? Those shoes??"
Not that I didn't make several years of poor wardrobe decisions just around her age, but come on I was not on national television and- don't they have stylists at this point?

Stay tuned Methinks.

3. PROJECT RUNWAY Last Season: Ok so Kenley was arrested for attacking her "ex fiancee" with a laptop, a cat, and some water or something? I feel like you didn't see this coming...But at the same time, you totally saw this coming. Kenley: You had me until the ropes around the models' necks.

4. REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ORANGE COUNTY: Yeah yeah you watch it too. Apparently Vicki "woo hoo" Gunvalson received a death threat for comments she made about former playmate and THOUROUGHLY bitter human being Jeana Keough on the show. Vicki bugs me...and when I saw she was in the news I automatically assumed that her separation with Don finally went public. But no.

Please people. Read the writing on the wall.

5. WEEDS Is this show ever coming back on? Does it run like 5 weeks of the year? Is that nearly enough single-mother-suburban-pot-dealing for my life? No. No it's not.


1. Okay first of all I was not even going to consider watching this because aside from Jon's sister and her family, I straight up do not get New Yorkers and I figured that there is no way in hell that I was going to give this shit the time of day.
  • a. But tell me why the Real Housewives in New York, dramatic and ridiculous as they may be, make Orange County housewives look like a bunch of complete retards? Seriously?
  • b. (Except for Ramona. She is on another fucking planet with her cooky ass husband.)
2. Okay so whateverwhatever - Bethenny and Kelly don't like each other. But honestly, I only sort-of like both of them so I'm Switzerland in this battle.

3. I will say that it was absolutely ridiculous of Kelly to plan a meeting just to say "Screw you Bethenny, you aint shit", but somehow I'm able to overlook that.
  • a. Doesn't help though that Kelly was recently arrested and had a court date for socking the shit out of her "boyfriend".
  • b.Crazy Points Kelly: 5 Crazy Points Bethenny:....5

What's up with your shows??