Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Wiki Why?

I customized my Google homepage with iGoogle and I love it! I have the National Geographic photo of the day, CNN news updates, a fancy background, the moon's exact stage, and I even have 3 little ladybugs that crawl around the screen. Being a big fan of Wikipedia, I also added the Wiki How of the day- A veritable treasure trove of how-tos and do-it-yourselfs. Below you'll find a list of the recent How-Tos me crazy, but I'm pretty sure I could figure most of these things out...

1. How to give constructive criticism using a "feedback sandwich".
Duh...That's when you say something you liked, something you didn't like, and then something else that you liked so as not to leave the person you are strategically criticizing on a bleak note.

2. How to make a jumping paper clip.
Fold it. Apply pressure. Release?

3. How to get rid of foot cramps.
Stop sitting on your ass.

4. How to knit a laptop bag.
I already know how to knit, but I will never be uncool enough to knit myself a laptop bag.

5. How to avoid a moose or deer collision.

6. How to hold a dachshund.
One hand or two.

7. How to deal with a rude, arrogant and mean subordinate.
Tell them what's up.

8. How to be an anarchist.
Save your "Economic Stimulus Plan" check. DO NOT SPEND IT

9. How to wake up from the American Dream.
Stop being so bitter!

10. How to be annoying.
Give me a line of cocaine and ask me about evolution.* Cause I'll tell you right now, I will not stop talking.

* Just kidding Mommy.


Me: There's a cocaine reference on the blog today.

Erin: Oh, Schuman.

Me: What dude, you know I don't do cocaine.

Erin: Yeah, but doesn't your mom read it?

Me: Yeah, but she's cool.
So you think it's okay?

Erin: I mean...It's a cocaine reference.

Me: You can totally reference marijuana and cocaine occasionally - pop culture does it. Just not the other stuff. Like there's nothing funny about heroin but you can make a cocaine reference mabye once every five years.

Erin: Well then...You're done.