Dear Arlene

Dear Arlene,

I've lost track of how long ago you left us.

All I know is that we have only managed to get ONE Costco order in since your departure. And it was out of sheer desperation for free Diet Dr Pepper.

And we had to call you to accomplish it.

You were probably out gardening, or skiing, maybe taking piano lessons or picking up tap dancing - whatever it is you people "do" whilst blissfully without employment. And we called to unlock the mystery that is the Costco website - An interesting problem considering we are a web company. But we also needed a card number. And finally where are the cone-shaped coffee filters?

Here's a joke for you: How many account managers does it take to place a Costco order?

Give up?

Answer: So far, more than we've got.

Also, did you know that there is a mailbox in the hallway passed the bathroom that the mail lady delivers to on Saturdays?? I bet you did, you savvy minx. And maybe I remember you mentioning it at some point now that I think of it... but bottom line is, it hadn't been checked until I missed a package one weekend. And finding the key was like a scavenger hunt.

In related news, our mail lady is as malady ridden as ever. "Bad luck" she said one day, "I've always had bad luck." She lost the little snowflake from the hoop of her holiday earrings but, "that kind of stuff always happens to me". I tried to keep an eye out for it, but it never turned up.

A certain vibrant sales guy with a thick accent has moved back into the office. Like anyone else who comes in and is unfamiliar with the day to day culture of our workplace, he has tried to make it you know, friendly and fun. He does not realize that we prefer complete silence (unless, of course, we are gossiping chatting with each other.) From playing music, to trying to organize drink nights... he even brought in ingredients for the monthly company meeting/lunch…(Make your own sandwiches (and you KNOW how I hate to make lunch)).

Finally, the holidays just wont be the same without you. Who will bring the tablecloth? Who will appreciate the festive bundt cake I make (drizzled with powdered sugar and garnished with berries)? Who will bake the peppermint brownies??

I think the answer is, you'll just have to come and visit soon.

And I am SO looking forward to it!

xoxo,

Schumanator