The Schumanator

Drinking Game Idea: Hobbit Style

2011-12-11T22:37:00.001-08:00

1. Watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy movies (after you've read them, duh).

2. Drink every time a hobbit says: You don't understand!!

3. You're welcome.

YES. ITS FUNKY AND I LIKE IT

2011-09-16T09:23:00.000-07:00

If Jagger could wander in and out of my every day in a bubble gum pink suit, I think I'd be a happy girl.

Allieschumanator and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day

2011-08-31T18:25:00.000-07:00

I didn't want to wake up this morning - I wanted to sleep in. But I had an early conference call that I knew was coming and the little triangle of light that gets in between the curtains over the A/C unit was practically blinding me.

When I walked out of my bedroom and into the hallway/bathroom, I thought to myself "damn it smells bad over here." See, it seems like it's been getting worse and worse, and I even joked with myself that if the bad smell is coming from the toilet area, it may be a sign that we need to break down and clean the damn thing. But it doesn't seem to be coming from the toilet. More like behind the toilet. In the wall. The wall that I share with my office all day.

I didn't want to think it, but the thought just happened the way thoughts sometimes do: I think we have a decaying animal carcass on our hands. Somewhere...I'm not quite sure where yet.

Then I discovered a mistake I had made at work and I told my boss about it. She kept asking me to get on the phone to work through it, but I did not want to get on the phone. I wanted to keep my head in the sand via email. I wanted to stress and pace and cry and then pull myself up by the bootstraps to find a way to blame the problem on someone else.

I was emailing my mom anyway, so I told her about the work mistake too. Trying to sound positive I moved on from my griping to say "Our veggie garden has gone almost wild. We're going to slowly start cutting things back and taking out some of the lettuce which wants nothing more than to bolt and become bitter. (like life.)" I said. "(I kid.)"

But I was only halfway kidding.

On my way to lunch I poked myself in the eye with my keys. I tripped on our old dog, and I blamed him even though he is ancient. While I was in the car on my way to The In-N-Out Burger it seemed that all of Chico's radio stations agreed that they would only play Taio Cruz's "Dynamite" and Kid Rock's "I am the Bullgod" whilst I was in transit.

I was thinking about this when the VERY OVERLY peppy gal at the drive through window handed me my soda. A few moments passed by and she handed me my burger and told me to have a lovely day goodbye thankyouverymuch. And I actually looked at her like she was out of her mind and said "Caaaan I also please have my soda?".

She looked scared. Like maybe I was schizophrenic. She said "I um, think I just um, gave it to you". And DUBIOUS at best, I sort of scoffed and looked down at my drink holder in the car and was actually shocked to see that the soda was there.

Then there was this guy on the freeway on the way home, and I don't have a specific complaint about him, other than he was driving like a real asshole.

I thought for a minute about saying on my Facebook wall that it had been a terrible horrible no good very bad day, but then I remembered that I really hate when people write even remotely emo things on their Facebook walls. I have unfriended fools for less.

Anyways, by the evening time, as work wrapped up and I snuggled up on the couch with an old Sex and the City episode, a glass of wine and Fall feeling nail polish (Steel-Her Heart by Revlon) I started feeling better. I flipped through the latest Vogue magazine with wet hair and wet nails and a la Carrie Bradshaw, I couldn't help but wonder if days like this just happen sometimes.

Dear Waitress at Rileys

2011-07-05T17:03:00.001-07:00

Dear Waitress at Riley's Bar,

Your tank top struck me as a health code violation. I need your tits served on my chicken sandwich like I need a hole in the head.

Keep it classy.

Luv,
Schumanator

This Current Life P3: Everything in Bloom

2011-07-04T10:13:00.000-07:00

When we toured our new place, we were knee deep in cold, late Spring weather. It had rained on and off for weeks and it didn't feel like the temperature was rising at all. While the leaves were sprouting off the trees there wasn't a blossom in sight.

The new house looked a'ight. The front yard at first glance was a little bit uninspired, but then again how often to you rent The Secret Garden in college town? Also, the backyard was nice, but sort of blah. There were trees that didn't seem all that special and a big square patch that was probably once a vegetable garden. It was kind of an eye sore with mounds of weed patched dirt.

But overall, we liked the place enough to take it. Once we were settled, we set out to level the dirt patch and started planning a backyard farm. One thing that could be said about the space at that point was that it was perfectly oriented it the daytime sun.

The more time we spent in the garden the more we realized how special it was. Rose bushes, rosemary, flowering perennials and hydrangeas. We kept working. We started with a row of herbs in a long planter row that already existed. Tarragon, thyme, chives, cilantro, dill, fennel, chamomile, sage and oregano were all added and are doing well to date!

Then it was on to the future vegetable patch. We started with tomatoes - two early girls and two heirlooms. We decided to create a keyhole sort of design with a walkway that circles the middle and then meets up with the edge. We filled in the space around the grass walkway with several varieties of peppers: Serrano, bell and pepperoncinis. Then there are two rows of corn, which shot up almost as soon as it was put in the ground. To the right of that are a few strawberry plants, some basil and climbing string beans. And then there are the squash plants that are taking OVER but looking amazing. A few types of onions and then two rows of carrots and one of broccoli, the latter of which has been topped by a pesky pest that I WILL find and I WILL kill. Rounding out the garden are a few rows of lettuce that we bought as wee plants from an adorably spacey hippie gal at the farmers market. We added Rhubarb and Okra for giggles (re: the okra my mom said "ewww that stuff is like slimey snot").

By the time everything was in it's place and the drips were set up and the plants started unfurling new leaves - the garden that had already existed here EXPLODED with beauty. Cherries, nectarines, loquats. Miniature roses, gardenias, hibiscus, things I never even dreamed existed!

Sufficed to say, Liz the old Landlord poor planner (who stole our emulsifier), can suck it. Her place had nothing on this one and I can't even believe I was ever reluctant about moving. Hopefully we'll be here for a while.

This is sort of what it's like when I make Hamburgers

2011-05-12T01:29:00.000-07:00

*ED - at some point Blogger deleted this post and all of the comments with it. Sorry if your comment was deleted!

This Current Life P2 (AKA: Dear Landlord)

2011-05-07T00:06:00.001-07:00

Dear Liz the Landlord,

Hey!

I'd like to say it's been a while since I've seen/heard from you, but alas, I think we both know that is not the case.

What you don't realize is that Mr. Rose and I lived in our last place for over 5 years and basically needed our next door neighbor to wield a semi-automatic weapon before we heard from our landlord. So you can imagine how irritating it is to have you all up in our shit.

It began when you asked to tour the house for the first time in years. You live 20 minutes away and you apparently had never asked to visit the place. I assumed you wanted to make sure we were up to snuff or whatever you country folk do. Just a reminder: The previous tenant wanted to abandon their lease in December, but you said No, I assume because you're a bad planner, and poor with logical decisions? Because either way, two months later, you wanted to come and tour the house.

I, like a total jackass spiffed the place up and tried to convince you, not only that I wanted to live here and that we would take care of it, but that this house was basically ZION. With the Northern Flickers in the trees in the back and the amazing neighbors with real live chickens and the proximity to Bidwell park. What the hell were ya thinkin' not living here??

I take comfort in the fact that you and your husband both stepped in dog doo-doo as you inspected the back yard. Sorry! But it's true! Because a few weeks later we heard from the management company that you wanted to move back in the house, and you wanted to move back in ASAP. Woe unto us that we took over someone else's lease when we moved in, so technically, the longest we could hold you out was June.

You couldn't just let us sulk in the fact that we had sorted through and moved our hoarded lives just four months earlier. No. You began scheduling all sorts of appointments and appraisals to get the place to what you want it to be. First the Tree Guy.

I guess what you'll never know, unless you Google "BAD LANDORD, CHICO, LIZ, ENDED LEASE EARLY, KILLER OF TREES" is that after you left, and after we came back from the breakfast we planned to avoid you, the tree guy was still here - and he was cool! Guess what else? He let us on to your flakey ways. Whats up with cutting down two of the three trees in the front yard? And what's up with scheduling all kinds of extensive work with the nice independent (sort of cute?) tree-scaping guy and then cancelling at the last minute due to lack of fundage? Maybe if you're broke, you should leave the trees alone and focus on cutting down other expenses. You know what I'm saying?

But who are we? We've just been paying your mortgage for the past few months.

Anyways, Funny that you scheduled all sorts of tree work for the Tree Guy on a Friday and once again, I assume you canceled, because no one showed up.

But hey! Why would that stop you from bringing in the paint guy! Perhaps there was a re-prioritization that took place? So you showed up with the paint guy one day. Knocked on our door to say "hey" as though we do not hate you with a bitter passion.

That was two weeks ago.

So when the property management place called us last week to say that you really wanted us to mow your lawn, we basically told them to tell you to go fuck yourself.

Some people might say that it is a sad day when all of the passive aggressiveness that two competitive people can collectively combine culminates in the ill maintenance of a lawn. But I beg to differ. This overgrown lawn we have attached to your home (a home which, incidentally, is wicked cold all the time. Poor insulation job in the remodel? Thought so.) Anyways, this lawn? It's basically our last stronghold. And we're going to do everything we can to ensure that the lasting legacy of this home during our time, on this tiny cul-de-sac, is one of slovenly white folks who are very nearly considering doing away with the grass as a whole and replacing with astro-turf. Does it pain me to be represented with a crappy yard? Yes, it does. Do I feel a deep satisfaction in the fact that in this one instance, there is nothing NOTHING you can do to freakin make me? HELL TO THE FUCKIN YA.

So you can imagine the elation we felt when you had the property management place call back to say that Didn't you leave a lawn mower in the garage? And if not, couldn't we just borrow one from the neighbor? Because our answer was, You are totally right. We will totally mow this lawn.

At 11:59:59pmPST on the very last night of our lease.

Thanks so much for the suggestion!

Smooches,
Schumanator

PS. 'Member that issue where our washing machine was draining every last ounce of water from each load into the garage instead of into the pipes? Still happening. Spider Problems? You got 'em sister. G'Luck!

This Current Life PI

2011-05-02T23:36:00.000-07:00

Oh Hi People,

I wanted to take this moment to sum up the past few months. A few people (mom's and mom's in laws mostly) have asked me recently "Are you not updating the blog anymore? What's up?"

The truth is, I've never abandoned you Dear Blog. Yes, there have been spells that resemble a black hole of writing inspiration - but you're always on my mind, Precious. Like a new love vacuum, all of my fun and funny ideas manifest into this nebulous fog of this might be neat for the blog.

We moved (Back) to Chico, Ca at the very end of December, 2010. I say "back" because this sleepy little orchard town is where Jon and I met nearly 9 years ago. I loved this town when I first moved here. Having grown up in various suburbs of San Diego in my youth, Chico resembled a town with limits. It was only so large - you could do only so much...and Yet, there was a lot to do. First off, It's a huge cycling community. It happens to be Cycling Month here in town! I mention this, obviously, with intentions - I just purchased the flossiest of bicycles. Her name is Bianca, but I'm not ready to introduce her publicly yet. Talk to me when my ass isn't ready to walk off the job in protest.

There are also several amazing farmer's markets here each week. Every Saturday there is one that makes San Francisco's Stonestown Gallery mall's farmer's market run home to weep like an underdeveloped teen. And then when the weather warms up to 70 degrees in Spring, we have the weekly Thursday night town market in addition to the Saturday one - and they last through the Fall, until the weather is uncooperative. The downtown streets are closed to traffic and food trucks from every popular restaurant in town provide to-go options for the fair-ish vibe. I LOVE THIS TOWN.

It's so funny the way you view a place given your current place in life. When I moved here in late Summer of 2002, I really would not have looked twice at those who were clearly beyond college age. Those who might even be married, pursuing a masters or beyond. Young, but with family and working. I also didn't think about staying here, or even coming back after I left.

Chico is the amalgamation of a good College community. The sweetness of small town charm meshed with the magic that is the graduates of the local college who have the guts to say "I want to continue to pay low rent and a cheaper cost of living if it means driving a bit over an hour to a nearby airport." Most of the people we've met that fit within our age group are cut from the same cloth. How can you argue against space and safety and progressiveness and affordability? Answer is, if you can find a way, it is inarguable.

Our leaving San Francisco was bittersweet. It was 97% sweet and 3% bitter. The bitterness comes from a fear of change. What it took to tell a steady job in the midst of the recession that I was moving, and could I potentially keep my job? What it means to self motivate on the DAILY and in most cases BEYOND the norm, because when I'm sitting in front of the TV in the evening, the office is sitting there within eye shot, reminding me of the things I might have gotten done. I also miss my office buddies who I could joke with and gripe with and ultimately realize I have it pretty good with.

On the positive side Yo, I be workin in my bathrobe half the time.

But fools be calling me at home at 5:45 AM because on the East Coast, that is well beyond reasonable business hours and Hey! I work from home.

You might not know this, but the Pacific Coast timers are sort of the red-headed step-children of the business world. (No, you don't NEED to get up at 6am PST, but if you get up at 9am, an urgent email from 9amEST doesn't get answered until noon. THINK ABOUT IT and maybe just spoon your laptop all night).

I also honestly did not realize how many times k9s need to pee/poop/puke throughout the course of a day/week/month.

Now that I've caught you up on the day to day vibe of working for the man from home, let me tell you a little about leaving San Francisco.

It was for probably 6 months that Jon and I discussed changing up a life we had only moderately liked in Daly City, CA. We moved to San Francisco in the Summer of 2005 and lived there for five and a half years. Our address was San Francisco, but we lived in the outer realm of San Francisco - where the weather blew and nothing fun, entertainment, food or otherwise occurred.
It's really hard to say what kept us in a place that brought us no joy at all. But I suppose that in fairness, at the time we moved in we weren't looking for joy - we felt we had enough to go around.

When we finally started talking about moving away from San Francisco, we had been walking around the nearby Lake Merced for several months. It took several years for us to realize that like it or not, we needed to be exercising in some form or another. The nearby Lake Merced was perfect. It was a bit more than .5 miles from our house and neared 5 miles around the entire lake (that actually had once been one lake, but is now three small lakes). Taking this walk on an almost daily basis brought us closer together and introduced the topic of Change. Jon really wanted to finish up the college courses he hadn't finished and I was anxious at the idea that I had settled in Daly City: a God Damn sleeper of a fucking foggy town that Voldemort himself actually hung out in between Albania and Spinner's End.

You see, at the time we moved in to our place in San Francisco in 2005, we had moved in next door to a mad man, but it was not for YEARS later, only until we were on the cusp of departing the ant-farm apartment complex village that we realized how volatile our neighbor was.

I guess it is most easily summed up by saying the following: we rented a two story town home. Our only neighbors directly next door were actually two single bedroom units. One upstairs from us, and one downstairs from us. Right off the bat, we should have realized that for each lease cycle (one year), we had a new tenant in the downstairs unit.

It turns out, that the nut case IT guy next door and upstairs was actually literally losing his shit and had been for some time. With a steady pounding on his apartment floor, he ensured that his downstairs neighbor's ceiling eventually cracked and OUR framed pictures and mirrors shook like they were in an earthquake. Our old dog would pace from worry. This went on almost daily. It wasn't until after it became a legal issue that we realized that this neighbor had called other neighbor's synagogues to say that the passive neighbor was in fact evil and shouldn't be allowed in the temple. He set off paint bombs on the neighbor's porch and would provoke until the point that police came. At that point he'd turn off all of his lights, or answer the door and explain in eloquent detail why it was HE in fact that was being harassed.

Finally, after 4 other neighbors in 5 years, a young neighbor moved downstairs below this person, and she moved in alone. Occasionally you come across a person that is just not willing to take some shit YOU KNOW? And this chick was one of them. She made regular complaints about the neighbor upstairs to our landlord, she engaged the crazy guy AND his brainwashed wife (oh yes, she looked like THAT dungeons and dragons girl) in discussions about their behavior, and ultimately she was the one that brought enough attention to the situation that it was actually addressed.

It was one of those nights in our place when I had heard a bit of commotion, but mostly got up to grab a Coke. I flipped open the kitchen blinds to check what the deal was (since it wasn't highly unusual to see an ambulance out front of our place for craziness or the elderly etc). What I saw outside my window was a group of at least 7 police officers with their guns drawn at my upstairs neighbor.

What ensued was a crazy dramatic sort of stand off that included the neighbor's wife coming home, inadvertently letting the cops into her house, and then a following 30 minutes of hard core shit talking to the po-pos. It turned out that our crazy male neighbor had pulled a massive shotgun out and pointed it at our downstairs neighbor and her friend in anger. I one time saw this neighbor come home from the gun range toting a very satisfied paper target and it disturbed me greatly. We saw the shotgun the neighbor pulled, and tried to take a sneaky photo from our upstairs bathroom but it didn't turn out.

It took this event to get our housing complex management's attention, despite all of the complaints from former tenants. Mind you, at the time we moved in, they were (or so they claimed) the second largest housing complex in the United States.

In the end, we felt really blessed that we were already planning our exit. I can't believe that we had lived next door to a young IT person who it turned out, was harboring a few firearms. A person we had slowly become at odds with, and who was slowly losing his grip on reality.

Mental illness is a real thing and I don't think this person can be entirely blamed for the hardships and issues he has recently come across. From what we've pieced together, he lost his job at some point in the post 9/11 economy. He had a known mental health issue and at a certain point became unable to support his own medicine - this triggered a rapid decline in his social behavior in the community. I think this is sad and I don't mean to make light of his situation directly.

However, the whole situation did teach us a lesson in being truly happy in the moment.

Now, we are living in an awesome small town college community. We are two blocks away from an entrance to the 3rd largest municipal park in California. We hit up that dual weekly farmer's markets, I ride my bike in that park, and we celebrate our amazing neighbors who bring us fresh eggs from their free range chickens.

What a difference a year makes.

Ah, User Generation

2011-05-02T16:06:00.000-07:00

I just needed to share with you that I was one of the lucky few who happened upon the Osama Bin Laden Wikipedia page while it still said that he had died of a QUOTE massive erection.

Get your shit together Wikipedia.

Easter

2011-04-27T20:49:00.001-07:00

Wintery Weekend

2011-03-25T18:29:00.000-07:00

We spent a weekend at Donner Lake and it snowed like 7,000 Christmases combined. It was beautiful and fun and a good close to what has felt like a never ending Winter.

Four Corpulent Porpoises

2011-03-17T19:43:00.000-07:00

I know this poem thing, this limerick, this I-don't-know-what. It's a funny sort of old expression and it has been officially defined by Wikipedia as an Announcer's Test, but I only know it as "that thing Grandma taught me"

You'll note in the Wikipedia article that this ditty is often passed down by word of mouth. I can't help but notice that the way I remember it is different than any way I can find online quickly. But isn't that the fun part of word-off-mouth?? It's like the rainy day game TELEPHONE. "The Cheese is on the table" translates to "Theres A FREEZE on the CABLE???" (wtf???)

Anyhow, here goes:

One Duck
Two Hens
Three Cackling Geese
Four Corpulent Porpoises
Five Faulty Foggy Flutes
Six pairs of Don Alverzo's Tweezers
Seven thousand Macedonian Warriors in Full Battle Array
Eight Brass Monkeys from the Ancient Sacred Crypts of Egypt
Nine Apathetic Sympathetic Diabetic Old Men on Roller Skates with a Marked Propensity for Procrastination and Sloth
Ten Lyrical Spherical Diabolical Denizens of the Deep who Hall Stall Around the Corner of Quo of the Quay of the Quivery, all at the Same Time.

I could never remember eight or ten, (although as a family we seem to remember something about brass monkeys and ancient Egypt) Those two here are from the internets.

Ever heard it? Variations?

Fade Into You

2011-03-09T21:55:00.000-08:00

Thanks to This Blog, I'm listening to This Song on repeat with my eyes closed this evening.

A LOT

2011-03-06T20:22:00.000-08:00

It's two words.

Super simple.

Get it wrong and I judge you.

Letters

2011-02-25T00:50:00.001-08:00

Dear Vanity Fair,

I moved and you apparently will never deliver to me again. I'm not going to act desperate. I'm not that kind of girl. (But seriously did you get my new address? Its murder avoiding you at the grocery check out line)

Love,
Allie "Just moved" Schumanator

Dear Weather Man,

What the fuck?

When I checked yesterday, it was defs going to snow today. SEVENTY PERCENT CHANCE! Now each time I check the weather it is warmer and warmer and now I feel like you are just messing with me yo. Not that this would be the first time, but you know, we just moved here and it would be amazingly magical if you would winter wonderland the hell out of this place. No pressure.

xoxox,
Schumanator

Dear Chico,

You rule in every way except for one - what is up with your radio stations? Is this not a college town? Do we not have progressive taste?? I mean, I dig Paradise City and I Come From the Land Down Unda as much as the next girl believe me, but what I'm saying is would it kill you to rock a little Adele or Mumford and Sons on occasion? Cereal.

Hugs,
Schumanator

PS - I've heard that Uber Christian public radio fool talking about the end of the world on May 11th 2011 or thereabouts and ya'll best REPENT. But ASK ME WHICH RADIO SHOW I AM CALLING INTO ON THE 12TH??

Dear Clients,

I know its not approps, but I just don't have time for you right now. Super Busy.

Lo Siento,
La Schumanator

Dear Plutos,

You are one of my favorite to-go restaurants in town and a few weeks ago I showed up at your establishment like I owned the place. Feeling like a million bucks. I navigated the lines efficiently (people just don't seem to realize! if you are ordering a sandwich get the hell out of the salad line) and I made my way to check out - Coke to go! I said.

I all but had my sunglasses on (you remember). You didn't give me my receipt and I lingered like a Clingon. Finally saying "oh, you know, I don't need my receipt". Your checker said "oh okay cool - OH WAIT. Sorry, your card was declined."

I said "oh. Well. Let me think about this for a second." (The thoughts went like this: My cell phone is dead and I apparently have no money. How fast can I get back to the car?) I did not return to your restaurant.

I can never see you again because of this, Plutos, and it hurts me more than it hurts you. I hope you understand.

Best,
Schumanator

Dear Northern California,

God you rock my world with your bird life and your plant life and your semi-mountainous weather. Your eclectic farmer's markets and your deer population. Your SPACE. Your Fireplaces, your water pressure, your muthafuckin JOIE DE VIVRE. Northern California: You complete me.

Yours,
Schumantor

Dear Southern California,

I get something totally and completely different from my relationship with NorCal. I'm not saying its better. Just......Different.

I hope in time you will come to understand.

SHAKAS,
Schuman

Old Town - New Tricks

2011-02-11T18:54:00.000-08:00

Last Looks from San Francisco

2011-01-05T19:47:00.001-08:00

Ok so. Um. A lot of shit has happened in the past few months that I have not kept you abreast of. (First time ever using the word "abreast").

The short stories are:
1. Jonny and everyone in his circle had an amazing Christmas secret - We're engaged!
2. We finally moved out of the ludicrous shanty-town that is Villas at Park Merced in San Francisco.
3. I started working remotely from home. Today is day three. I did shower. But then I put my sweats back on.

The long stories of each will come once I have a moment to think of anything other than how much it blows to move when you're a hoarder. For now, here are the last looks at San Francisco...

Dear Arlene

2010-12-12T16:45:00.000-08:00

Dear Arlene,

I've lost track of how long ago you left us.

All I know is that we have only managed to get ONE Costco order in since your departure. And it was out of sheer desperation for free Diet Dr Pepper.

And we had to call you to accomplish it.

You were probably out gardening, or skiing, maybe taking piano lessons or picking up tap dancing - whatever it is you people "do" whilst blissfully without employment. And we called to unlock the mystery that is the Costco website - An interesting problem considering we are a web company. But we also needed a card number. And finally where are the cone-shaped coffee filters?

Here's a joke for you: How many account managers does it take to place a Costco order?

Give up?

Answer: So far, more than we've got.

Also, did you know that there is a mailbox in the hallway passed the bathroom that the mail lady delivers to on Saturdays?? I bet you did, you savvy minx. And maybe I remember you mentioning it at some point now that I think of it... but bottom line is, it hadn't been checked until I missed a package one weekend. And finding the key was like a scavenger hunt.

In related news, our mail lady is as malady ridden as ever. "Bad luck" she said one day, "I've always had bad luck." She lost the little snowflake from the hoop of her holiday earrings but, "that kind of stuff always happens to me". I tried to keep an eye out for it, but it never turned up.

A certain vibrant sales guy with a thick accent has moved back into the office. Like anyone else who comes in and is unfamiliar with the day to day culture of our workplace, he has tried to make it you know, friendly and fun. He does not realize that we prefer complete silence (unless, of course, we are ~~gossiping~~ chatting with each other.) From playing music, to trying to organize drink nights... he even brought in ingredients for the monthly company meeting/lunch…(Make your own sandwiches (and you KNOW how I hate to make lunch)).

Finally, the holidays just wont be the same without you. Who will bring the tablecloth? Who will appreciate the festive bundt cake I make (drizzled with powdered sugar and garnished with berries)? Who will bake the peppermint brownies??

I think the answer is, you'll just have to come and visit soon.

And I am SO looking forward to it!

xoxo,

Schumanator

When Worlds Collide

2010-10-12T18:26:00.000-07:00

God I love this.

The Colbert Report

Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Andy Cohen

www.colbertnation.com

Colbert Report Full Episodes

2010 Election

March to Keep Fear Alive

Remember when I was on vacation?

2010-09-21T19:56:00.000-07:00

London back Home

2010-09-09T08:36:00.000-07:00

Adventures seem to fly by in the same way that they sneak up on you. One day you realize that your bags are packed and you're on an express train to the airport thinking "You know, we were in Wales just two weeks ago." Or "Dude, was it three days ago we were in York?"

Our hotel in London sat right on the Thames and next to the London Eye. At first my mom was positive that she would drag me on the Ferris wheel because we had been on the world's largest one in Singapore last year and it just seemed fitting. But we never got the full motivation to do it.

So instead, we spent our first day taking a long walk along the river up to the Tower Bridge. We made a brief stop at (literally popped in and out of) Shakespeare's Globe theater and then it was on to the Tower of London.

Later in the day we visited the British Museum which was completely rich with room after room after room of historical artifacts. From Egypt, to Greece to South America - it was insane and totally amazing. It was humanly impossible to see everything there.

We had only one more full day in London before it was time to pack it in and head home and we spent a good amount of time walking around. We went over to the National Portrait Gallery which was, also, pretty incredible.

Since there were so many paintings to see, our guidebook mapped out a shortcut to the top 30 to check out before our eyes glazed over. I wont list all 30 here, but here are the paintings that stood out to me:

1. The Ambassadors (Holbein)
2. The Execution of Lady Jane Grey (Delaroche)
3. The Arnolfini Portrait (Giovanni Arnolfini?)
4. Miss La La at the Cirque Fernando (Degas)

Then we walked over to Buckingham Palace and hung out under the Victoria Memorial for a few minutes.

We spent our last night drinking wine and eating deep-fried tapas at a place called The Slug and Lettuce. We talked about highlights - The countryside, Wales, Oban. And the challenges - Detouring through Glasgow, Hobbit Holes, and the rain.

It was an awesome and full vacation, completely enhanced by the use of a car and definitely an experience of a lifetime.

And the souvenirs. Oh! The souvenirs. Lets just say I may have gone overboard and decided to start about ten different "collections" whilst vacationing. Plates, pewter soldiers/figurines (they are cute actually, don't judge), and Christmas ornaments GALORE. Dude, I've got to be honest, moderate case of buyers remorse in just viewing the sheer magnitude of damage I did souvenir shopping, but my life is so very enriched because of it.

Edinburgh to York

2010-09-06T14:20:00.000-07:00

We had a lovely stay in Edinburgh - Scotland is the true motherland, mitochondrially speaking. (Note, Google tells me that Mitochondrially is not a real word.) It was an interesting change though - nine days in the countryside has a way of calming one's soul. So to hit the hustle and bustle of a big capital city again, with the driving and the public transportation etc. was a little bit hectic. But we managed to get by without any problems. Our hotel was great and the restaurants nearby proved to be amazing.

Our first full day in Edinburgh started with a stroll along the Royal Mile. The Royal Mile is a long - I'd venture to say Mile - of a street lined with stores. The stores range from kilt shops to souvenir stores to whiskey vendors and all lead up to Edinburgh Castle. We made our way to Edinburgh Castle, which was, by that time, the tenth castle we had seen on the trip. It actually sits on a hill above the whole city and the hill happens to be an ancient lava flow. To ME/US, it was not incredibly noteworthy, but I would imagine that if you took a trip to Edinburgh or Scotland only, it would be a wonderful stop on your journey.

After Edinburgh Castle we hit up the National Museum of Scotland which is AMAZING. First amazing thing: It is completely free. Second amazing thing: If you start in the basement you basically start learning about the history of Scotland from the time before dinosaurs. Third amazing thing: As you make your way upstairs you evolve with the country to modern day. Fourth amazing thing: They've found a way to exhibit things in a completely modern user-friendly sort of way which involves interaction, unique display cases and varied techniques in exhibition, from dioramas to dress up corners to the regular old plaques. I absolutely loved it. If one were to truly soak everything in, it would take far more than one day.

Our next day began with a stop off at the Britannia. The Britannia used to function as Her Majesty the Queen's (Lizzy the Second's) yacht. Since it is no longer in use it is docked in Edinburgh along with the Royal Racing Yacht the Bloodhound. I'd say the most interesting thing about the Britannia is that according to Prince Phillip, other monarchs have built churches, monuments, buildings etc. during their reign, but the Britannia is, or was at the time of it's construction, the only piece of work entirely conceived and built by the current Queen.

Now I have to say, I'd roll in the Britannia any day, but that aside, it was not quite as over the top as you'd expect. Maybe it's because it has not been in use for at least a decade so it seemed a bit outdated. All in all a good stop for the day - as an American, all things royal are sort of mystifying to me.

After the yacht we hopped on our favorite double decker bus (the 22) back downtown and did an afternoon of shopping and photo taking. We had the MOST amazing and lucky weather while we were there.

The next morning we headed on to York. This was about a four or five hour drive with a brief detour at Hadrian's Wall. Hadrian's Wall was built by the Roman's under Emperor Hadrian in 122 AD. Apparently scholars like to disagree about why this wall was built, but one prominent belief was that the Romans were not ever able to conquer the people North of the current English border - the Celtics and the Scottish (or as they were known at the time, the Picts). Another belief was that it was made simply to keep the idle minds and hands of the Roman army busy.

We checked into our wee hotel in York and then immediately turned in our rental car. This marked the beginning of the end of our epic Great Britain road trip.

Our time in York was spent, again, shopping, but also checking out York Minster Abbey (Gorgeous)...

York Castle Museum (Interesting), and York Museum Gardens (Lovely!)

With just two nights in York the time seemed to fly by, so it was crazy when we got up early for our train to London and I had to figure out a way to get all of my souvenirs in my already over-packed LITERALLY Kirkland Signature over-sized suitcase. But I did! BOOYAH extra suitcase charge!!

I'm writing this now from our hotel room in London and we have two more nights here. Our hotel room is literally fifty yards from the London Eye and we've already checked out the Tower of London and the British Museum. Fear not friends, I'll give you all the details on London when I get home the day after tomorrow.

Smooches!

The Lakes, the Highlands and the Coast.

2010-08-31T15:41:00.000-07:00

Well we had an amazing stay in Wales and honestly I'm a little disappointed in you all (all 3 of you) for not telling me how gorgeous Wales is. I don't know why but I guess I was picturing "industrial" as opposed to lush green countryside. At any rate, I think both Mum and I will look back on our time in North Wales very fondly.

From there our plan was to head on to Scotland, particularly Edinburgh, but because that would make for an insanely long drive we decided to split it up by making one night stops in three different places.

First up was the Lake District back in England. British people vacation in the Lake District the way Californians might go to Tahoe or Palm Springs. There aren't necessarily monuments or castles or geologic anomalies for outsiders to visit, but it IS amazingly beautiful. Pretty much any outdoor activity you can think of can be done there. The only kicker was, we happened upon the Lake District on a Saturday during one of Britain's three day holiday weekends. So we moseyed around with 30,000 of our closest British friends (who are not pictured below).

(It was super windy, fyi)

So after one night in the Lake District we were off to our first stop in Scotland. A little town called Oban (Which is pronounced "Obin"). I wasn't sure what to expect from Oban, but it turned out to be, as most of the other places on the trip have been, Gorgeous!!

We lucked out and had really lovely weather too. Oban struck me as a fishing town with the crescent shaped downtown shopping area lining the coastal inlet. We had dinner on the pier, I picked up a plate for my growing souvenir plate collection and I took some photos. That was pretty much the extent of our stay there, but never the less, we were pleasantly surprised by how nice it was and we really enjoyed the day/night we spent there.

We left Oban on Sunday morning for the Highlands (or, the Heelands, as the Scottish say). Our hotel was in the small town of Invergarry and had actual castle ruins on their grounds! And sheep too! It was lovely.

The day we arrived we spent the afternoon at Loch Ness and toured around Urquhart Castle, which sits right on the lake.

I'm writing this now from our hotel in Edinburgh. Much to our surprise we were able to find our way here without getting insanely lost and also without killing each other. Mummy has done an excellent job reading the map and navigating and I have only almost killed us in the car once. (It was a poorly timed pass on a two lane highway. What can I say? I was impatient). On our way here we stopped off in Stirling and visited Stirling Castle, which for a time was the most important castle in Scotland because of its very strategic location. It sits high on a hill and has views forever in all directions.

Tomorrow we're start our grand tour of Edinburgh, and then its on to York. Details to come!

The Castles of North Wales

2010-08-27T10:48:00.000-07:00

Most of the sites we've seen in North Wales have been castles. The ones we've visited were all built (or taken over and renovated) by King Edward I as a part of his "Iron Ring" of castles around Snowdonia, the nearby National Park. Edward the First, also known as Edward Longshanks, reigned as King of England for nearly 35 years. Honestly I can't separate the name from the image I have from Braveheart, which is that he was a nasty son of a bitch, but read this and let me know if you disagree. In the meantime, here are some photos...

1. The aforementioned Conwy Castle. "Building" began in 1283 however it was more of a reclamation of Deganwy Castle built by Henry III which had been destroyed by the Welsh.

2. Caernarfon Castle (Which is pronounced Cuh-Nar-Vin). Caernarfon has had an interesting history - the area it is built in was once a Roman fort and the castle itself is based on the design of Constantinople. It is also where Prince Charles was officially confirmed as Prince and future King of England.

3. Beaumaris Castle. Building of this castle started in 1295, but it was never actually completed. This may be why it seems substantially smaller than the other castles we saw. According to Wikipedia, the construction funds ran low when Edward's issues with Scotland (an understatement) came to a head.

4. Criccieth Castle ("Crick-eth"). Criccieth castle sits on top of a hill high above Tremadog Bay. You can only visit its ruins because the walls were knocked down and set on fire by the Welsh in 1404. It is in one of the most BEAUTIFUL settings you can imagine and we were lucky to see it on a gorgeous day.

5. Harlech Castle. This castle is also in an amazingly beautiful setting. Originally built right along the sea cliffs of the Irish Sea, Harlech Castle now sits a good mile or more from the ocean. It sits amongst a quaint Welsh countryside with the hills of Snowdonia in the background.

Cotswolds to North Wales

2010-08-25T10:46:00.001-07:00

Our three nights in Stow-on-the-Wold went by quickly! We spent the days wandering in and out of the towns that make up the Cotswolds - on the list was Morton-in-Marsh, Bourton on the Water, Chipping Campden, Broadway, Upper and Lower Slaughter and of course, Stratford-upon-Avon.

As I'm sure you know (clever you) Stratford-Upon-Avon is where Shakespeare was born. I don't think much about Shakespeare in my day to day life, but if our visit to his birthplace reminded me of anything, it is that many of the common phrases that we use today are thanks to his writing. The home he was born in has been restored to be an informative and interesting tour of what life was like during his time and Mummy and I both left feeling like we ought to read some of his work.

We walked around the town and checked out the local shops - some specialty, some souvenir shops - your standard vacation window shopping. And!!! There was a Christmas shop! Have I mentioned how much I love Christmas? Because I do, and a quaint little Christmas shop in a quaint little town is almost too much for my delicate heart to bare. Please don't even get me started on the quaint little ornaments that I bought.

The buildings and stone fences in the Cotswolds are all made out of the limestone that is found in the area - it makes for a cute and cohesive string of towns that are a lot of fun to drive through. It is also exceptionally green there.

The drive up to North Wales was fairly uneventful, although it did mark the first time we made it from A to B without having to turn around, go back, flip a bitch or ask for directions. Our B&B is located literally RIGHT next to the original 11th century town walls and the room has a view of Conwy castle on one side and the gorgeous Welsh countryside on the other. Who knew that it would be so lovely?

We spent the afternoon strolling around the small town of Conwy by way of the Medieval walls and unbelievably narrow streets. In the next two days we'll do a grand castle tour and we'll also check out the nearby national park called Snowdonia - where Merlin's dragons were from. (For some reason I feel the need to mention the Merlin's dragons thing every time I talk about it, not sure why) (P.S. Wouldn't Merlin be a cute dog name?)

Mwy yn ddiweddarach.

(Apparantly that means "More later" in Welsh, but I'm going to have to take Google Translate's word for it.)

Bath to Stow

2010-08-22T12:08:00.000-07:00

On our last full day in Bath, we picked up our rental car and headed out to Stonehenge and Salisbury. Driving on the left side of the street was/is interesting, but I think I've mastered it. I've only gone up on the curb four times!

Stonehenge was very cool and I was glad to have had a chance to visit it despite the heavy drizzle. One thing that I really appreciated was that I was able to get some photos without 6trillion people standing in the background.

Mum and I were both Anthropology students, and while we know it's completely unethical, if no one had been looking I think we would have started digging in nearby fields in search of archaeological treasure.

After Stonehenge we headed into the small town of Salisbury. When we arrived, there was a sort of farmers market/swap meet happening in the center of town and it seemed everyone, tourists and locals alike were milling around. We popped in and out of cute shops and wandered over to Salisbury Cathedral. The spire of Salisbury Cathedral sits way above everything else in the Salisbury skyline and so it was easy to find.

We spent our last night in the lovely B&B Queen Charlotte's Orangery and then we hit the road to Stow. It was an absolutely gorgeous day.

Along the way we stopped at Blenheim palace. If you just pronounced that as "Blen-Hime" in your head then the Red Coats are laughing at you. It's pronounced Blen-Um.

The largest residence in England, Queen Anne had Blenheim Palace built for the First Duke of Marlborough after his victory over France and the Bavarians in the Battle of Blenheim. The current Duke of Marlborough still resides there - and no, I don't think he rocks chaps and a cowboy hat. And he certainly doesn't smoke Reds.

After Blenheim we headed on to Warwick Castle. This would be the first castle on trip and it has what you would consider the typical military castle architecture. Warwick castle was built by William the Conqueror in 1068 and has seen many residents, prisoners and changes over the centuries.

Unfortunately the property has become exceptionally commercialized. Beyond just the kitschy gift shop they have completely Disney-fied the place. The tower is "The Princess Tower". There is jousting at Sunset and the place is utterly crawling with ye olde character actors. Truly, it was as though every family in Great Britain descended upon Warwick Castle on the same day, at the same moment.

I was glad to have seen it, and equally glad to get back on the road.

We arrived in Stow-on-the-Wold shortly thereafter. Stow is a small town that is part of the group of towns collectively known as The Cotswolds. The hotel we're staying at, The Royalist, claims that it is "the Oldest Inn in England" since the original portion of the building was built in 947 AD. It is a very charming building but the crooked walls/floors/ceilings make it seem like a cross between Ron Weasley's house and The Old Lady in the Shoe.

Since there is no elevator, the front desk offered to help carry our bags upstairs. As they lugged the two massive suitcases up the crooked staircases the young man began to giggle. I guess the joke was that our suitcases probably wouldn't even fit in the room. The room that he affectionately and with good reason refers to as "the Hobbit Hole".

At first we were super irritated and bummed that we'd have a three day stay in Hobbitown. But after a bottle of wine, it simply became funny and cozy. My mum, who is 5'4 on a tall day, has now hit her head three times on the ceiling.

We have two more nights in the Shire before we head on to Wales. More later!

Aquae Sulis

2010-08-20T23:17:00.000-07:00

Hello from Bath!

We are staying in a little Bed and Breakfast here called Queen Charlotte’s Orangery.

I frankly have no idea who Queen Charlotte is*, and contrary to the name, my mum insists that there has never been a Queen Charlotte. I’m not sure what the British are playing at then, because the building next door has an historic plaque that says “Here dwelt Queen Charlotte.” Also confusing is that there are no orange trees in sight. But this place is super cute. It’s decorated in an old school English, shabby chicish motif and I love it. Our room has a view of the typical English garden – seemingly overgrown in an organized chaos sort of way.

The Romans established this city because of the natural hot springs that bubble up in what is now the center of downtown. It was sort of their spa-getaway if you will. The oldest inscription in the bath house dates to about 75 AD!

Yesterday we wandered around the city for the better part of the day – we checked out the Roman Baths and Pump Room, which were awesome, except it was hard to get any good photos because the crowds were so large. From the Roman baths you can see Bath Abbey looming over the city – Bath Abbey is GORGEOUS!

Maybe I just don’t get out to see enough churches, and mummy said that it pales in comparison to what we will see in London for example, but I was totally blown away. There are tomb plaques from the early 1600’s all over the floors and walls, and massive stained glass walls with the most amazing detail.

Later in the afternoon we hopped on a boat for an unplanned trip up the River Avon, which runs through Bath. Now, as it just so happens, this is not THE River Avon, as in Stratford upon Avon. Apparently Great Britain has nine rivers called Avon. This one is the Bristol Avon.

We thought the boat trip would show us some historical sites along the way, but it was really more of a leisurely ride amongst and endless sea of greenery. It almost seems tropical with all of the overgrown lush plant life here – I assume from frequent rain. The boat couldn’t go too far however, because in two spots on the river they have built walls. The water level on this River Avon is known to fluctuate quite a bit from season to season, so locals built these walls to maintain the water level they needed to continue on with businesses that relied on the water (like the local mill for example, which used a water wheel for energy).

I am for the third day in a row up before 6am, which hasn’t been too bad because it’s the only time I can seem to get an internet connection – but come 6pm I am dead on my feet, begging mummy to let me fall asleep. She dutifully reminds me that ideally I would stay up until at least 8 so I can get on the right schedule, but no luck yet.

Today we will pick up our rental car, which is exciting because it marks the true beginning of the road trip. It's also intimidating because driving on the right side of the car, on the left side of the road is, obviously, completely counter-intuitive. Once we get the car we’ll head out to see Stonehenge and any other sites along the way. Then it’s back here to Bath for one more night, then on to the Cotswolds.

More on that later. Cheers!

*Ok, it’s kind of a cop-out to be on the internet and say “I don’t know what X is”, because duh, you can just Google. Maybe Charlotte WAS a queen after all….

Another Adventure

2010-08-17T17:03:00.000-07:00

Isn't it funny how when you have something to look forward to, it seems like it may never come? So torturous is the countdown to any fun adventure that you have to (or I do at least) put it out of your mind completely until it gets closer.

And then suddenly you find yourself at an airport terminal. Passport in hand. Ready to say, road trip across the UK with your Mum for three weeks.

Stay Tuned. ;)

Another Day, Another Earthquake

2010-08-06T23:26:00.000-07:00

We had an earthquake recently at work. We all felt it - and even talked about it. But at the time we agreed that what we felt could not have possibly been an earthquake.

The shake that we felt was quick. It felt like someone, Paul Bunyan for example, took something massive and dropped it on the entire building. One solid SHAKE. And that was it. A wind gust? Someone moving in upstairs? Anything but an earthquake.

About an hour after I left work a coworker called to say that she heard on NPR that it was in fact a 3.6 off the nearby coast. 3.6? No biggie. I live in San Francisco, I sleep through 3.6's daily.

But whenever I hear about or feel a nearby earthquake, I go through this brief period of time wherein I am obsessed with earthquakes. I check the USGS site like it's my Gmail. Seriously people LOOK at all of those earthquakes along California. And did you know that last week a series of four earthquakes over 7.0 hit off the coast of the Philippines within an hour?

Sigh.

It's stressful. Seriously. Because then I got crazy and started googling earthquake prediction. And yeah, I know it's not an exact science, but we've had a lot of little earthquakes here recently - more than I ever recall in my 26 years as a Californian, and if I were to predict a massive quake hitting ummmm it would be any day now.

So I googled quake prediction and conveniently found quakeprediction.com AND LO AND BEHOLD this dude was saying that a pretty big one was going to hit basically right near my house. Granted his website was not the most legit thing I have ever seen, but! he had the domain name. It is early enough in Internetdom that I feel like I can trust anyone with a super legit domain name.

And people, I kind of stressed for a few days about this, but it goes without saying (duh, I would have told you) - that the "big one" did not hit.

As the days progressed Mr Quake Prediction shifted his focus to other parts of California as though he had never predicted the apocalypse that never came.

And I woke up thinking about my earthquake preparedness kit a little less each day.

Living right on top of the San Andreas fault line is awesome though. Seriously.

Duder

2010-08-01T22:01:00.000-07:00

Our five year old Australian Shepherd is named Lucy. But like all dogs I've had, she has a plethora of nicknames. Lu, LuLu, Lucifer, Doo, The Doo, Duder, and when we're feeling formal, Duderson.

Duder's interests include frisbees, bodies of water (other than baths), harassing her uncle Zephyr, and jumping on couches when her adoptive father is not looking.

She also likes leaning her head out the window as we return from a 95 degree Auburn into the cool San Francisco bay.

Escape to LA

2010-07-18T10:09:00.000-07:00

I spent the weekend after 4th of July visiting a dear friend in L.A.

It dawned on me as I sat in the gate in San Francisco, waiting for my flight, that I had never really spent any quality time with Los Angeles. Caught an international flight here, visited some college friends there - but never a pointed effort to see the city.

I guess I was realizing this because the group of people at the gate with me were unlike any other medium sized group of people I had been confined with. Not like, the most bizarre, but just different. Like they swallowed traffic for breakfast. Like their hemoglobin carries smog instead of oxygen. Like they're going to pop their gum constantly no matter how many sideways glances you throw their way.

Once I arrived and we battled through what is the sheer MADNESS of LAX pickup points, we headed straight to the movie theater with no time to waste. Jacob and Edward awaited. What followed was two hours of weeping tears of joy, because truly, I don't want to live in a world where Edward and Bella are "not quite together" and Eclipse helped me close that chapter.

On Saturday we went to the Getty and spent a few hours looking at paintings and photographs - meandering through the garden - getting trapped behind a man pushing a long stroller built for triplets up switchbacks. It is utterly gorgeous there, the bright buildings and manicured gardens are perfect.

In the evening we hung with some friends of Courtney's and watched a movie. We also played "Taboo" the game, which I had never played before. And I'm glad to say I did not punch anyone in the face or anything during game time. (Because I'm competitive like that.)

Both nights we watched episodes from the 1994 television classic, My So Called Life.

That show dude? So good. So ANGSTY, so CHARGED.

Man I miss the 90's.

And can I just say on behalf of women everywhere? Can we please have 90's Jared Leto back? Thanks.

Sunday we woke up bright and early and hit up Roscoe's Chicken and Waffle in Long Beach. I unfortunately did not have any of the chicken, but can tell you that the waffles are delicious. We were in Long Beach because Courtney's church was having a Gospel Fest on the streets of Long Beach.

Now I've never been to a Gospel Fest - in fact I can count the number of times I've been to church on one hand. But if a friend is really into church, hells yeah I'll tag along for the experience (once or twice.)

But this wasn't exactly church, it was a Gospel Fest. And the music was amazing and the messages were inspiring even for the non-religious. All in all it was a lovely way to spend a Sunday. The people were all so vibrant and moved, it was a fun place to snap some photos.

On the way to the airport we stopped at your quintessential Southern California Mexican restaurant. Dark lighting with orangey glass. A fish tank with a blowfish. Wicker and leather tables and chairs. And oh yes, taquitos on the menu. Now, I don't know if I've told ya'll this, but San Francisco doesn't exactly do the crispy tightly rolled deep fried deliciousness that we all know as "taquitos" or "rolled tacos". We have flautas, but truly they just aren't the same. I wasn't about to leave Southern California without a mufuckin' taquito plate.

And so I didn't.

After lunch we headed for the airport. It was a fun and exciting trip to Hell-A that would have only been improved by a K-Stew/R-Patz sighting.

I picked up a Hollywood shot glass at the airport on my way out of town, cause yeah, I roll like that.

L.A.: Who loves ya babe?

A Weekend in LaLa Land

2010-07-12T19:50:00.001-07:00

Top 5 Memories of this years 4th of July weekend

2010-07-05T16:59:00.000-07:00

1. Baby rattlesnake which I found by nearly stepping on. It was one of those moments when my brain asked itself a question and then answered before the question was done "Hm, weird, a toy sn- NO ITS NOT! NO ONE HERE HAS RUBBER SNAKE TOYS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH".

I'd like to say we scooped the little devil into a pillowcase and set him free well beyond the reaches of the family friendly farm, but alas, twasn't the way the shit went down. I didn't take any photos, but here's one from the internets:

2. Very Very pregnant pygmy goat named Fiona. I was SURE she would have little goatlets while we were there, but no. Scuttlebutt around the farm is that there are probably triplets in this belly, which means TWELVE little hooves clopping around in there = not comfortable.

3. Jon throwing nephew Liam up in the air during a post dinner night time swim. "I want to go so high that I touch the stars!!!"

4. Harry Potter themed wine goblets, originally conceived after deciding that I needed my own pimp chalice. In the form of the Goblet of Fire. The others have floating candles, Quidditch paraphernalia and Hagrid's pumpkin patch. Love them! Freehand painting credit goes 100% to Pat who so kindly painted them for me. Now I just need to bake them in the oven for the paint to stick (325 degrees for 45 minutes).

5. We downloaded a new voice for our GPS Navigation device and it is Master Yoda - and it RULES. Not only does he say "Drive three miles and Arrive you will", but where other GPS personalities would guide you to your "destination", Yoda will guide you to your "destiny".

Sometimes Jon mixes up popular expressions (It's kind of cute)

2010-06-29T17:55:00.001-07:00

1. "I think I'm just going to have to swallow the bullet and deal"

(See also: Bite the Bullet)

2. "Dude. Lets not put the horse before the cart." (No, lets)

3. "Ah, it's just the same"

This came after he admitted that, try though he might, he can't get the cream/sugar/coffee ratio right. It's just as well, why pick up a bad habit?

Recent Acquisitions

2010-06-27T20:44:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I just need a little retail therapy.

What can I say? I'm weak like that.

But when I'm broke, or saving up for a big trip - or both, I try to get the retail satisfaction in small ways. Ikea is great for this; I pick up a couple 49 cent dish towels, three $1 plant pots and a couple of cheap aloe vera plants, and *splurge* a set of 6 glasses for $7. I leave feeling like I just hit it BIG TIME. (Just picture me with a full blue IKEA bag strutting back to my car to the tune of Saturday Night Fever).

I'm also not afraid of the Salvation Army. Actually, the Salvation Army is probably afraid of me. I logged ENDLESS hours of thrift store shopping time in middle school, with Roo, my step mom as an accomplice (slash financier).

She would occasionally pick up a nice wool sweater, or a book, but overall we were at the thrift shops because I loved them - and Lord there were a lot of them in East County San Diego.

I'll have you know that during that time I did not make a single fashionable or "cute" purchase. But damn I felt cool.

Looking back on the photos of those wardrobe decisions = Not that cool. I looked a hot hot mess.

Nowadays, I pick up a random bowl, or a book. Maybe a chair to recover or a vintage bundt pan. I'm always on the lookout for a cool lamp or a great portrait of a stranger. (I have a secret desire to create a portrait wall)

Here are a few recent acquisitions that I've picked up in BudgetTown.

1. A trio of items from Salvation Army. A 50's bowl that is a cute color and well made. A little Anchor Hocking creamer, as Jon boy has started drinking coffee. And a little jug that I will probably put q-tips or crafty goodness in.

2. Set of 6 glasses from Ikea.

3. and 4. Buttons from Grandma.

5. Aloe plants and pots from Ikea.

Mr Beta Tester

2010-06-15T20:04:00.001-07:00

Jon got a new car on Sunday - A Subaru Outback! It's mad cute dude, you'd love it.

Anyway, we got it at this place called AutoWest Mazda Subaru. And these details really are unimportant, except (they're really exciting!!) to say that Jon had to call the dealership to find out what the deal with the spare set of keys was.

Concurrently, he recently became a Beta Tester for Google Voice. Google Voice lets you navigate and manage your voicemail like you would your email. So when he missed a call from the sales guy at the Subaru dealership, he had to listen to the voicemail on his computer.

One cool thing about Google Voice is that it will send you a text message AND an email of the voicemail you just got. But as it turns out the transcription is not always completely accurate.

Here is what the sales guy said:

Hey Jon - It's Ed from AutoWest Mazda Subaru. Guess what? Good news. I got an extra second set of keys man. How 'bout that? So just call me back when you can man, I'll be here til ten oclock tonight and we'll figure out a way - if - you want to come down and get 'em. But I'm gonna hang on to them for you, okay? Alright, talk to you later, bye.

(Sidenote, Ed the sales guy was the Man.)

Here is the transcription of the message via Google Voice:

Hey Jon, It's a buzz on the list modestly will guess what. Good news. I got a signature staticky man about that, so just call me back again. I'm here til 10 o'clock tonight and I will figure out a way to reach you wanna come down or whatever to get them, but I'm gonna hold on to him for you okay. Alright, talk to you later. Bye.

I feel like the Google Voice marketing team needs to advertise the fact that it can also translate all of your voicemail messages in to Jive.

Update on the Updates

2010-06-10T19:05:00.000-07:00

So like. It's been nine days since my Earth shattering return to blogging. In that post I promised that my next entry would be a set of "twenty things" about anything other than myself.

Seven of those nine days, I had the Blogspot "New Post" window open on my laptop non-stop. And in that time I was able to come up with two - TWO! things.

They are as follows:

1. Did you know that to this day, at least six Ravens are kept at the Tower of London, at all times, "in accordance with the belief that if they be absent the kingdom will fall"?

and

2. Dear Joran van der Sloot, Are you fucking serious? Sincerely, Schumanator.

That's it, that's all I've got.

And so I'm wondering, Dear Sweet Devoted Reader, for the sake of the continuity of my comeback, if we can just call me self-absorbed and un-dedicated and get on with it.

Making Up Part One

2010-06-01T21:13:00.000-07:00

Forgive me readers, for I have sinned. It's been 40 days since my last blog entry.

I feel that I have no choice but to tell you 40 different things in an effort to make up for that. (My mom just totally rolled her eyes, 'who wants to hear 40 things about anyone??')

1. I've recently come to grips with the fact that I am a hoarder. I can still access my staircase and my hallway, which separates me from the scary hoarders, but I'm a hoarder none the less. and I am working on it. But if you have some shit you're trying to get rid of, let me know. I might be able to find a home for it.

2. I wonder how old Jon and I will be when we STOP running out of toilet paper. I can't remember a single time growing up when we employed take out napkins and coarse paper towels in the bathroom. And yet, as a "grown-up" (and I assure you the term is used loosely) we seem to run out of toilet paper every three weeks. And then it takes at least three days to buy some. Many times, like today, we'll go to the grocery store and not even THINK to pick it up.

3. Jon gave me a haircut recently. I've become SUPER lazy about haircuts, and pretty much any sort of regular primping/hygiene exercise. Anyways, the haircut is a bit of a mixed bag, but if I didn't tell you it was uneven you probably wouldn't be able to tell.

4. Don't worry, some of these 40 things will be short. This won't be 40 paragraphs.

5. That would be a lot.

6. Despite reaching step one in my hoarding recovery, (admitting I have a problem), I have, in the past two weeks, picked up TWO things next to the dumpster by my house. A lamp and a little cart/shelf thing. I feel like I need to call my sponsor.

7. In my defense, I am going to paint the shelf thing yellow or red and pack it with lovely green houseplants. And the lamp, I'm going to use a stencil from this book to make a lampshade. Have I done it yet? No.

8. Jon continues to recommend Sci-Fi books for me to read and the line goes something like this, "Dude, honey, I just finished this awesome book, I think you'd like it, you should totally read it. It's called _____________."

The blank can be filled with any of the following: Cryptonomicon, Accelerando, The Chronoliths, and don't forget about, Marooned in Real Time.

No I have not read any of them, but as I read this sentence aloud to Jon he says: "Dude these are all, like, great books. People that know them are like 'this guy's the shit'".

9. Instead I'm trying to read "The Pillars of the Earth" and I'm sticking with it because my loved ones will start judging me if I read Harry Potter again.

10. Do you watch Bored to Death, on HBO? If so, did you know that Ted Danson bases his character on Graydon Carter? (at least that's what he eludes to in the short article he wrote in last month's Vanity Fair).

11. When we were kids and heading out on a vacation or weekend getaway, my mom would say, "We're off on another adventure!"

12. This Summer, Mummy and I are off on another adventure. This time, to the Motherland, with a three week road trip across England, Wales and Scotland.

13. Upon hearing this news, I immediately watched Braveheart. (and quoted it excessively: "FREEEEEEEEDOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM")

14. An update on the last post that I did about food trucks in my work area: "Curry up Now" is a little bit more like "Curry up and Wait." Or better yet, "Curry Up, Pay too much, Get mostly rice, Now."

15. I'm loving and making felt pendant garlands.

16. Last week, I put Orange Marmalade through the washing machine, destroying her. I'm not positive, but I think this is where the kids would say "FML"

17. That awesome Nestle Baking Clock? Before we bought it, we plugged it in at the store and it ticked and tocked. So we primed it and painted it, changed the color of the power cord, set the Moon phase calendar and the Nestle Seasonal Baking suggestion wheel, nailed the sucker to the wall in the kitchen, pinned the cord out of the way and went to bed satisfied with a job well done. And in the morning, according to our fabulous new clock, only 23 minutes had passed. Ah, thrift store shopping.

18. Something short and to the point. I'm tired and ready to unplug for the day.

19. In reading back this entry, I've said the word "I" about 6 bajillion times. I therefore challenge myself have the next 20 "things" be about anything other than myself (FINALLY you say).

20. It might even be easier, come to think of it. I'll start with this: HOLEY MOLEY!

She that can have patience, can have what she will...

2010-04-20T19:04:00.000-07:00

I have blogged several times about the taco truck that consistently parks in the lot across from the building I used to work in.

Our old haunt.

We moved offices nearly a year ago, and yes, there is a taco truck at our new place, a different taco truck. But something you may not be aware of is that not all taco trucks are created equal. No. The new truck, for my tastes, is just too peppery. The salsa is not nearly as good, and the presentation lacks a certain yo no se que.

The old truck = perfection. A wonderful paper plate of perfectly prepared baby corn tortillas with a proportion of beef/salsa/cilantro/onions that must have come to the truck owner in a vision from God. Truly, El Ranchito does it right.

The good news is that our new location is a mere 1.5 miles from the old one. So I simply drive to El Ranchito. Of course I don't eat tacos nearly as often as I used to, but lets be real, that's probably a good thing.

Anyway. This last week I drove over to the old truck, and lo and behold there had amassed an army of lunch food trucks. A Korean barbecue truck, called Seoul on Wheels, a Chowder truck that mainly sold clam chowder and sourdough rolls, and, of all things, a cupcake truck! And People, in the cubicle world, this is big news. So later in the week we went back, and BAM, another truck added to the mix: Curry up now! It's a veritable cornucopia of meals on wheels.

Anyways, it's exciting. Obvy. And I'll definitely keep you posted because my plan is to get to know the truck employees and not so subtlety suggest that they add a new parking lot to their lunchtime shhhed-youlls.

Meanwhile I have told Jon about it several times ("I know dude, you told me this")but his genuine reaction was "No ice cream truck, huh?"

And all things considered, methinks I finally have a good Plan B.

By the by, The title of this blog is a Benjamin Franklin quote

Random Thoughts: Deli Edition

2010-04-02T20:23:00.000-07:00

There is really nothing like approaching a familiar deli counter and just knowing that you are about to get the chick who sucks at making sandwiches.

HandyMan

2010-03-15T18:53:00.001-07:00

I don't exactly remember how the topic came up. I don't know how long it took Jon to convince me. And I'm not really sure what I was thinking, but at one point it seemed perfectly logical to let Jon disassemble our 48" HD projection screen TV in the name of touchscreen pioneering. The "surface" he said, was perfect.

His angle was, as it usually is, that we could get a much better TV, at a much better deal. "Besides" he'd say, "Our back light is going to burn out eventually dude and technology advances so fast that it wouldn't even be worth it to fix this one."

Anyway, I agreed. And as luck would have it, we did manage to upgrade to a 52" flat screen (which I realize is absolutely ridiculous.) At the time Jon was working for a company that recognized our electronic sacrifice. They gave him one of the brand new flat screens that they bought for a convention and just had us pay the difference in cost. I know that their accounts payable team was a little perplexed at the whole thing, but in the end everything seemed to work out just fine.

Until one day the screen was hit with a "think fast" remote control throw and caused a cluster of small black spots. Dead pixels. And woe. The mark grew bigger and bigger and bigger. It grew until we were sure it was going to creep all the way across the screen until we could no longer bare it. We got used to it, but it was a glaring fault line in an otherwise perfect TV. What more can one say?

And then one day, miraculously, the mark started shrinking. It took weeks, but it shrank and shrank until it was no longer there. The self-healing television was back to its original splendor. Numerous high-fives were exchanged over this development.

But all good things must come to an end I suppose. About two months ago, as I was getting ready for work, Jon told me that the TV was taking fifteen minutes just to turn on. I chose to ignore it.

Over the following weeks he would tell me that it was only getting worse. That not only was it not turning on, but when it finally did turn on, the picture was sometimes fuzzy and he'd have to start over. "You don't want to hear it dude, but the tv's on it's last leg." But what could I do? dwelling on the issue would only cause stress and worry at a time that a new television is just not in the cards. I knew that there would come a day when the TV would simply DIE. And on that day, and not a moment before, I would worry about it.

And last Saturday morning, I awoke to a quiet house. No Skip Bayliss spewing off his morning bullshit. No blaring commercials. Just the gentle tap tap tap of Jonny typing on his computer.

"Well dude.....Todays the day." He said. "The good news is I found a YouTube video that shows how to fix it."

"Oh...Hmmmm."

"Relax Honey, I think I know what the issue is, it's really common for Samsung TVs, thousands of people have had this problem. We just need to take the TV off the wall mount, take it apart and replace the capacitors in the power supply bypass."

"I'm hearing a lot of "WE" in this process."

"Dude. We're a team. And I can't get it off the wall without you."

"Fine. But I want lunch first."

When we finally took it off the wall we placed it upside down on the dining room table, and rested it on a few blankets.

I busied myself while Jon took the back off and exposed the "power supply board", the part that handles the, "you know, incoming power". The guts of the tube.

I looked over every now and then as he pulled out all of the old dead capacitors and soldered in new ones.

When he was finally done we screwed in the million screws that keep the front and back panels together. We pulled the tv up on end on the table and I hit the power button.

And not kidding people the bitch did not turn on. It made the bloopbeepbloop sound to turn on, and then - nothing. I wish I could tell you more, but that is all I remember about that moment, it was so traumatic.

But Jon - Ever dedicated, was not defeated. He took the back off again and low and behold, we had left one crucial wire unplugged.

We plugged it in, high-fived AND IT FUCKING TURNED ON BABY.

and all is right in the Universe.

Or maybe we need to get off the couch and gain a little perspective.

Facing the Awful Truth

2010-03-10T18:01:00.000-08:00

So. I was feeling pretty confident about things...And I haven't mentioned anything because I didn't want to jinx it...But I've had to come to a cold hard truth recently.

I don't think I'm the winner of the 2010 HGTV Dream Home.

I entered everyday. And entering was exciting because I just knew that I was going to win. I felt like I was actively working towards a future by entering to win this fabulous prize package.

The thing is I actually work for a company that does sweepstakes and promotions (duh, the eight of you that read this blog already know me and that.) (Lets say for argument's sake that you don't.) Sometimes my job involves getting in touch with people we have selected as winners and letting them know the exciting news. We give away a lot of vacations, an occasional car - a lot of times winners can take the cash value of the prize if they want. I've never had anyone do the big WHAHOOOOO! Which I always halfway expect, but one woman did cry a lot, thanked Jesus profusely and then said that it was a total sign and that she needed to donate all of the money to her church. (And I was like "on second thought, it looks like you're our first ALTERNATE. My bad.")

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm sort of like Ed McMahon.

Except instead of knocking on your door I call you on the phone and if I don't have your phone number I send you a packet of paperwork that you undoubtedly find suspect. Emailing you doesn't work either - even if my message DIDN'T go straight to your spam filter, you wouldn't believe an email titled "You've Just Won The Grand Prize!!!!!" anyway.

When I talk to you on the phone I get at least one fact wrong that I later need to clear up with you - A fact that leads you to again suspect that something about what I am saying is fraudulent (but it's really not.) (Honest.)

So I know how these things go. If I were the winner, I would have heard by now. They would need to make sure that I am in fact eligible. That I am not a 15 year old kid who resides outside of the United States or Puerto Rico. HGTV would look ridiculous if they put on a big production for a winner and then later realized they could not take the prize.

Because oh yes, I've reviewed the rules. And I know that they reserve the right to surprise the winner at their house, on March 15th in what they call "ambush style". They are already promoting the show so it is going to happen on the 15th.

Even though I am certain I'm not the winner - I just want to say that I am totally worried about having plans all day on the 15th. We definitely won't be home for most of the day. Thinking about leaving a note on the door with my cell phone number...

Better safe than sorry methinks.

Weekend Project Before and Afters

2010-03-03T18:31:00.000-08:00

Nestle 50th Anniversary "Time for Baking" Clock. This clock is sweet. It not only tells the time, but also has a moon calendar and month chart that breaks the weeks down in terms of what you should be baking. I got it at the Salvation Army and while we were there we plugged it in and it seemed to be working. It turned out the hour hand was loose and needed a little attention. I took the back off, adjusted some stuff, and it seemed to have worked.

The clock was a little faded (the Before picture below isn't mine but is comparable), so I decided to paint it with a brighter color. Jon helped by replacing the old brown power cord with a new white one.

I'm not quite done, but close.

I also decided to re-cover a set of chairs that Jon inherited years ago. There was really nothing wrong with them, I don't necessarily dislike the pattern, so I just covered the original fabric with my own, rather than replacing it.

And then I got a little chair-cover happy and did the set of four dining room chairs as well. I did them all in different patterns. This was my first shot at adding cushions AND covers to chairs. There are a few things I would do differently next time, but overall I think they turned out pretty well.

Regarding Southwest and Kevin Smith

2010-02-16T19:36:00.000-08:00

For the record, I'm on Team Kevin Smith and if I had been sitting next to him on the plane that he was asked to leave I think I would have said "Dude. That's fucking Kevin Smith. Are you serious? If he gets up, I'LL get up! It'll be Anarchy!" But I'm also a Southwest Rapid Rewards member and I have appreciated their efficiency for the better part of 8 years

I really think the whole situation has been SO poorly handled by Southwest. Because the bottom line is, he could buckle his seat belt and fold down the arm rests and as such, only required one seat. Why are they avoiding that subject? It's sort of like the blog/twitter PR for Southwest is in the hands of a sort of defensive Mean Girl!

Here is what I think they SHOULD have said regarding the Kevin Smith drama....

"We have a strict policy for our passengers' safety that we adhere to. However, if a misjudgment was made by any of our employees regarding the meeting of our safety standards, we offer our most sincerest of apologies. We have reached out to Mr. Smith in an effort to work together to make the Southwest experience a more enjoyable one. We know he has a lot of choices when he flies, so we hope he will continue to fly the friendly skies, with Southwest."

Bam. Problem solved.

You are now free to move about the country.

Breaking the Boredom

2010-02-07T17:30:00.000-08:00

This weekend I tackled a few long over due activities. Things I have been thinking about doing for anywhere between three weeks and one year.

1. I finally put up the photos I framed from our Europe trip. (Which was a year and a half ago.)

2. Putting up the Europe photos meant relocating the posters I bought at the Renegade Craft Fair two years ago. We still like them, but they look better in their new place, in the hallway upstairs. You can see one of my old projects - the tree stencils - in the bathroom in the background.

3. I made the lamp decal that covers our round window and I love the shadows that it casts in the evenings.

4. Jon has had this James Bond poster since before we moved in together. We had it up for awhile, then took it down. We put it back up this weekend. It now lives along the stairway and I love it.

5. I happened upon this idea for a Valentine's Day garland on this website. I liked the title "Easiest Garland. Ever." It really was easy to make and I cut enough hearts to make two garlands. After the fact, I thought it might be cute to include some beads, or maybe some small pendant shaped felt pieces, but all in all I think it turned out pretty well.

6. Next weekend - We build a miniature greenhouse!! Stay Tuned.

I don't NOT like a double negative (from time to time)

2010-02-01T18:35:00.000-08:00

I'm not not blogging because I am at the gym. I went for a week and then got sick and then, this past weekend I threw out my back. No joke. I wasn't doing anything crazy when it happened - just bending over little to tie a garbage bag. (Hello quarter-life crisis!)

I'm also not not blogging because I am soooo busy! I'm really not. In fact I find myself pacing around my house, glancing at Jon every once in awhile and saying with a sigh, "So.........." But even then, I don't really have anything to say.

I'm certainly not not blogging because I've taken up acting, archery, astronomy or an affinity for alliteration.

I'm not blogging because I have bloggers block. Simple as that. But I'm here. Just sitting here. (Hi). Wishing I had something fun or interesting to tell you.

Haiti

2010-01-17T22:13:00.000-08:00

This video is incredible and awful at the same time. Jon says it sounds like the real life Cloverfield and I have to agree...

If everyone were to donate $10 to the cause, we could change the lives of a lot of people who are living on the streets right at this moment. Find some simple ways to do that, here.

The Haps: As of Late

2010-01-12T19:14:00.000-08:00

1. Avatar. PEOPLE. Run, don't walk to see this movie. It was amazing, magical, rich with awesome and unique characters and in the end just a great great story. Yes, I even teared up at one point. And I am not joking when I say that I read on CNN.COM that people are actually feeling depressed after seeing the movie because they just want more Pandora.

If you're going to spend the money to see it, you've got to go 3D. Seriously, it's 2010 friends.

2. (Baffled by) The utter lack of snow fall in the Tahoe Donner area of California during New Years week. Riddle me this, how can a weatherman be so wrong? Before we headed up to the mountains I checked the weather everyday and the forecast was SNOW, daily. Slowly, one by one, as the hours and days marched on the weatherman was predicting less and less snow. It became clear that it might never snow. But then suddenly, as though by way of post-Christmas miracle it started snowing!!!! For twelve minutes.

3. Jon and I built an igloo.

Yes.

Well.

We built the foundation for an exceptional igloo.

The thing is, for some reason when it's cloudy everywhere else on Lake Donner, the sun still shines on Pat's cabin. Literally a tiny zipper is opened in the sky and the only thing distracting you from the large blue patch of sky is the intensely close winter sun staring you in the face. And yet it can be downright foggy on the other side of the lake.

Anyways. We built the igloo with the idea that it would be getting colder and colder, the snow would come, it would reinforce the igloo and give us fresh bricks. It would be a true winter wonderland. But as I mentioned, the snow didn't ever come. So the igloo was left unfinished.

Without the proper ambiance of a heavy snow, it was impossible to carry on.

We joked that Eskimos would be probably be thinking the exact opposite thing.

3. I let my cat move to Campana Farm this last Sunday. I was surprised by how sad I was about the whole thing. I was tired of the litter box, the dogs eating the cat food, the kitty litter kicked onto the floor, the god damned meowing. But at the same time, I saw this cat (whose name was Nelson at the time) at the Humane Society. He was teeny, orange and skittish. Found in Golden Gate Park. The nice volunteer boy explained that he was "just a little shy" as "Nelson" attempted to crawl up his back and out of the room. We had to have him.

When I originally told one of my coworkers that we were considering letting our cat go live "on the farm", she said "You mean...the farm in the sky?" I said "No!! No, no. Not the proverbial farm. The farm in Auburn."

I was seeking some sort of validation, or at least a response that provided some comfort.

"It's for the best" she said. "He will love it there and you can visit him all the time. It is a practically perfect situation."

I think she was right.

4. Um. So, well. It's January...and I'm back in the gym with the rest of America. It's been a while, I'm not going to lie... Which is exactly why in a post almost one year ago, I called 'going to the gym' a 'non-resolution'. Because I knew that I would not be blogging to you three months later in the best shape of my life, going to the gym before work and cracking eggs on my rock-hard abs.

I also wondered whether or not I was supposed to change "out-there". In the locker room. With no sheet or curtain or wall to protect my modesty. I've never been much of a proponent of the "We're all girls here" philosophy. But the 70 year old mexican woman's saggy breasts confirmed it today. Yes. I am supposed to change, there, in the locker room, with the other non-resolution having ladies.

I might need to ease in to that.

5. How to get removed from my facebook. Just post something like this:

what a piece of crap president. he needs to be out of office, hes lied about everything and putting us deeper and deeper into debt. i hate obama

Nikki Martin, we apparantly went to high school together at some point but I for the life of me do not know who you are and this Republican babble means, in the infamous words of Heidi Klum....."you're out."

6. Burrito Tuesdays have become an inadvertent tradition in our household. And what makes it even more special is that my homegirl behind the counter at Los Metates knows my order. By heart. So, with Burrito Tuesdays, I have fulfilled my lifelong dream of being able to step up to a register and say "the usual". And it feels good.

Taking Down Christmas

2010-01-05T19:16:00.000-08:00

Today I started taking down Christmas and was reminded yet again how much I love the ornaments I got to use this year. I have lots to share with you about the last few days of December, but in the meantime here is one last series of photos. Bye Bye Christmas tree.

Fall to Winter in Photos

2009-12-26T18:28:00.001-08:00

Auburn

Carwax/Cleaners & Lubricants are located just below the leg warmers and tights on Campana Farm...

Jon hard at work on a barn replica birdhouse....

Birdhouse under construction...

Vintage Snoopy Ornaments

Scotland Yard Snoopy....
Oktoberfest Snoopy...
Count Snoopy...
Turban Snoopy...
Sherlock Holmes Snoopy...
Zoro Snoopy...

Quick Visit to San Diego

Mamie...

Christmas Eve sunset...
Sunny Christmas day...
Grandma Bessy Bad Ass's 'boots with the fur'...

Back home in San Francisco

Favorite tree to date (and LuLu)...

Minimalist tree-topper this year...

Cute Couple

2009-12-23T11:11:00.000-08:00

Have I ever told you how musical Jon is? Well he is. Musical that is. He's one of those adorably obnoxious people that can sit in front of an instrument for an hour and leave knowing a new song. No lessons. No training. Just him and his ability to teach himself anything.

Sometimes when we are at his mom's we will sit in front of the piano and play together. He keeps a beat going in the lower notes and I twinkle around on the quiet high notes, and somehow we always manage to make a fun little ditty.

I wonder if some day we will be like this couple...

(Video found on http://joannagoddard.blogspot.com/)

I've been meaning to show you....

2009-12-14T19:21:00.001-08:00

A couple of videos that I took in Shanghai.

Before I left on my trip I bought a new iPod Nano - one that also serves as a video camera. It was the perfect size to travel with, but it also took amazing video and held more memory than my Dell Mini Laptop. I got the orange one and named it Orange Marmalade.

Shanghai was fun because as I've said it felt very artsy. Bands playing on the sidewalk, groups of retirees gathering in the morning for some public ballroom dancing and a traditional song in the touristy Dragon Mall Bazaar - This is how I remember Shanghai:

1. We happened upon this band playing outside of a hotel on Nanjing Road just a half of a block from our own hotel. People danced in couples and when someone didn't have a partner, they danced as though they did. Please note the woman in the pink pants at fifteen seconds through working the camera.

2. After I caught this next video a 90 year old man came over and talked to my mom and I. He said that this group of people got together every single morning to dance. For fun, but also for exercise. The funny thing about it was that this all took place in front of a Macy's like building at the start of a very long, very busy pedestrian walkway/mall. For a tourist like me, it felt more like a street performance.

3. My mom and I came across this woman singing in the Dragon Mall Shopping Bazaar, just outside the Yu Gardens. I love the old lady in red who is clicking the castanets and throwing up peace signs in the background.

My Shower Sucks: Part 7 (Act I)

2009-12-07T22:07:00.000-08:00

......For never was there a shower of more woe

Than that of my shower

in San Francisco.

Colors and Texture of Asia

2009-12-01T17:56:00.000-08:00

The One Time I Lost

2009-11-15T11:23:00.000-08:00

I never really thought of myself as "competitive". I mean, in my day to day life I don't really excel to be "better" than anyone else at anything, at least consciously. I do hate to be wrong... but I don't see that as competitive, I just see it as an outward reflection of my inner know-it-all.

However. Put a board game in front of me and suddenly the gloves are off and we need to put our good relationship on hold for the duration of the game. Please don't ask me to help you in any way. Don't think that I will give you the smallest hint and please think twice when you assume I am above cheating. Because I'm not. I view the winning of a board game as a sort of "by any means possible" kind of situation.

Anyways, on Saturday night after having a birthday celebration for Pat (with a Thanksgiving dinner) we decided to play Trivial Pursuit. We ended up with a "team" version of the board game, which we've never played before but I assumed it would be the same as the classic version.

The teams were Jon and I against his mom and brother in law (Pat and Phil). I thought our chances were pretty good - I wouldn't have necessarily bet the farm, but I wasn't afraid either.

They took an early lead. With the exception of a few moments of overly excited chest bumps and high fives, Jon and I spent most of the game catching up. And I think he hates to lose as much as I do, so the pressure was on. A few new categories came up and I swore Pat and Phil would choose the "knitting" subject as Pat is a master knitter, but they didn't and I felt like it was really our chance to get back on top.

The first question on the card was a cinch, something about "unit of measurement for knitting needles" - and actually the second question was super easy too. Anyone that has looked at Chapter One, Page One of any knitting tutorial would know it. It was "what two simple stitches can be used to create hundreds of other stitches?"

"Knit and Purl" I said confidently.

And Jon said "No, it's knit stitch!"

"But that just sounds like one stitch. A "stitch" is not a kind of stitch. I am 100% sure that it is Knit and Purl".

"Dude Allie. It's Knit STITCH."

"KNIT PURL. I AM TELLING YOU IT'S KNIT. FUCKING. PURL."

"Phil" Jon says, taking control of the situation, "Knit. Stitch. Final answer"

"That's incorrect, the answer was Knit Purl." Phil says - obviously gloating.

Now granted, Jon DID learn the basics of knitting, just because he likes to know how to do "stuff", but I was fairly certain that my knitting knowledge exceeded his, and I was POSITIVE my answer was correct. I just couldn't wrap my brain around why on Earth he would be so insistent on something so obviously up my alley.

Anyways, we lost in the end. It just wasn't our night, but also, I think it is plain good manners to let someone win on their birthday.

And finally we said Goodnight....But I couldn't get over the "knit purl" moment. So after everyone went to bed, I asked Jon why in the hell he would even think to disagree with me on something like that and so vehemently. And he said "Dude. When no one was looking I peeked at that card and I swear to god I saw 'Knit Stitch' and there was no way to tell you because I thought they would hear."

And friend, this unexpected answer in my mind was the ONLY excuse I would have accepted. Because in all honesty, I COMPLETELY UNDERSTOOD.

It once again proved that no matter what, we seem to be a good match.

Ending With a Celebration

2009-11-10T05:24:00.000-08:00

My brother and his fiancee picked my mom and I up from our hotel in Seoul on Saturday afternoon and we all drove together to the wedding hall. We arrived about four hours early so that everyone could get hair and makeup done with enough time remaining to get dressed and take a few hundred photos. While Se Eun and my mom were busy getting ready I chatted with Sui, one of Se Eun's cousins who was just lovely. She works in marketing for Calvin Klein and spoke English really well, which was of course helpful to the general flow of conversation.

I did not end up taking very many photos of my own AT ALL. Something I regretted almost immediately after. But the situation was so new to us that I wasn't really sure when it was appropriate or what would be coming next. I wish I would have gotten photos of the traditional Korean dresses that the women wore or more photos of my brother in his tuxedo, or even a quick shot of my mom and I all gussied up. But the opportunity never seemed to present itself. I'm hoping that when they get their real wedding photos back they'll send some on and I can share them here with you.

Anyhoo. Weddings in Korea are similar to ones in the US in many ways. The bride wore a white gown, carried a bouquet and was undoubtedly the star of the show. The flow of the ceremony was much the same as it is here, and the reception dinner was quite similar. The differences came in the details. For example, instead of her father giving her away, my mom and Se Eun's mom walked down the aisle holding hands. At the end, they each lit a candle on the front alter and rejoined in the middle, bowed to the guests and sat down.

Also, most people in Korea get married in wedding halls which are sort of a one-stop-shop for all things wedding day. The hair and makeup, the room for the ceremony, the hall for the reception, the food, the flowers and even the corsages and some parts of the outfits were all included in the venue. We were also told by one of my brother's in laws that it is traditional for family of the bride/groom to wear white *lace* gloves and a flower corsage. Of course they said that if we did not want to there was absolutely no pressure, but seeing as it was my brother's day and not ours, we were ready to do whatever was asked of us. I was only momentarily disappointed that the white gloves clashed with my royal blue/black outfit, but I got over it when I channeled a little Madonna/Jackie O. (Yes, what a combo.)

After the ceremony and some food the newlyweds came back in to cut the cake. I was personally excited because I was starved and definitely ready to eat ANYTHING other than seafood. So they cut the cake with the worlds largest knife and after at least thirty minutes I finally catch my brother and I say "So like...When are we going to have cake?" and he said that in fact the cake was not real. I still haven't wrapped my mind around whether the cake was only there for the benefit of the westerners in the audience, or if the cutting of the cake in Korea is more of a symbolic gesture and they actually hate cake. But either way, it was just one more quirky and interesting tidbit of the day.

My brother was very obviously happy and excited to be married to his wife. My mom and I observed that she was the most beautiful girl in the room that day (did I mention they had over 200 guests!?) What I did not expect however, was all of the young women in the room saying that my brother was so handsome. That he looked like a celebrity or a model and that Se Eun must have been having a hard time keeping it together. Funny because you know...It's hard to envision your brother that way, but I'm sure he secretly didn't mind.

I think more than anything it was great to see how much his in laws liked him and how glad they were that he had chosen their daughter (or rather, they chose each other) to marry. They are undoubtedly a great match and I have always wanted a sister, so I feel lucky too.

The next morning they took off for Ko Samui, Thailand and my mom and I packed our three week's worth of clothing and souvenirs and headed for the airport ourselves. It was a long and amazing trip - probably a once in a lifetime opportunity and I think I will be glad that I spent this time with my mom for many years to come.

Small details that didn't make it into the blog while I was away will come along this week as well as an excessively long rant about the perils of jet lag and returning to work the day after you get home. Spoiler: It's a mistake when your body clock is 17 hours ahead. More on that later.

Love Hotel, Seoul Style

2009-11-05T07:24:00.001-08:00

Oh people.

What an interesting couple of days it's been.

We got on our flight in Singapore and it was great. Six hours later we arrived in Seoul and there my brother and his fiancee were waiting and it almost felt like we had never gone on our adventure - like it was three weeks ago and we had just arrived from San Francisco.

My mom wanted to take them shopping for some household items, because home feels a lot more like HOME when you have the little things that you need. So they picked up pots and pans, some silver wear, towels etc. I think they were really happy and grateful. After shopping we went out to dinner to a Korean barbecue restaurant that was SO good! I don't even know all of the different things they brought to us, but there were at least six dishes to work with and they all involved using the beef that was cooking on the middle of the table. It was our first real Korean meal and we really enjoyed it - a lot of different flavors to try and the way that it was cooked by us on the table was really fun. A sort of DIY Benihana...but you know...Korean.

After dinner we got our things together and headed towards our hotel. My brother had never heard of it, so he didn't know where it was but eventually we found it. It turned out the hotel was sort of up an alley-way and in a sort of random part of town. Booking hotels online, especially in a city you've never been to before, is always hard because they tend to put the nicest possible pictures of the place on the website. You look at the site and you think "huh. This looks pretty nice, and it's a good price. Lets book it."

Well as I mentioned in my first post from the trip, my brother really has an interesting way of 'not looking on the bright side'. Always has. Sometimes its funny, sometimes totally predictable and sometimes I want to shake the shit out of him and say YOU ARE NOT BEING HELPFUL. This was one of those times because as we pulled up to the hotel he starts saying "Oh my god. This is where you guys are staying?? This is a LOVE hotel! This is where people bring their Chinese prostitutes. I can't believe you guys are staying here."

Knowing him the way we do, we have to take it with a grain of salt. I mean, most everything he says involves some level of extreme exaggeration. You can tell this is happening when five minutes later he is saying things like "Oh well, I'm sure the ROOMS are fine." And frankly we didn't see any prostitutes around and I was starting to feel kind of sick from dinner and I really had to pee and I figured, seriously, he's never heard of this hotel before, how can he possibly know?

So we take our bags out of the car and start heading up the stairs and I kid you not, the biggest fucking RAT scampers from out behind the door and INTO the hotel "foyer".

I gagged a little bit and then I died a quiet little death.

Meantime my brother's fiancee says the Korean equivalent of OH HAIL NO and goes inside with my mom to convince them to give us a refund.

Eventually she was able to cancel the reservation but it turned out that the hotel we were hoping to change to was all booked. We could have spent all night looking around, but there is a Hyatt near my brother's house that they said "always has vacancies." So we headed over there. The only thing was, the Hyatt was pretty expensive, actually as it turned out it was a little more than three times as much as the other hotels we've stayed in on this trip. And fancy. But as my mom is talking to the front desk I slowly want to kill myself my stomach hurts so bad and I'm thinking for the love of god woman, please just book the hotel for at least one night, I'm dying over here.

So she does. Because honestly we just wanted to be done with the whole thing, and hey, who minds luxury all that much?

It was nice to get into the hotel, after a while I started to feel better, I waited to catch Jon on Skype for a quick chat while my mom dozed off. And I am not kidding you, as I'm sitting there quietly on my twin bed, our next door neighbors start doing "IT" so loudly there was no ignoring it. And unless they were using a clapper light and they were turning it off and on constantly, there was also a lot of spanking going on. And I die for the third time that day.

Apparently, there are "Love hotels" of many different kinds in this city.

I told my brother this when he picked us up for lunch today. We were meeting his fiancee's family. His fiancee is named Se Eun by the way, pronounced "Say Oon".

We had a very traditional Korean meal which had who knows how many courses. All I know is that the waitresses kept coming and coming and coming with soups and kimchi, and whole fishes and salads and little dishes with things that I did not recognize. There was a lot of seafood which my mom and I don't really eat, but I felt I had to take one for the team and try everything which included some sort of egg pancake with squid tentacles and oysters and who knows what else. It was a really good experience, and I mean no disrespect to them or to Korean food when I say that there were a few times that I literally gagged after taking a bite.

We loved Se Eun's family though. They could not have been more friendly or more perfect in our minds. Which is fitting because we love her too.

And tomorrow she officially becomes part of our family.

Singapore on Foot

2009-11-04T02:38:00.001-08:00

We had a plan when we got up this morning. First up the Asian Civilizations Museum, then Raffles Hotel for a Singapore Sling and a Shirley Temple and finally a trip to the orchid gardens for some peace and tranquility on our last day here in Singapore.

So we set off, on foot, I with my camera and map, my mom with a scratchy throat but a good attitude. It was a bit of a walk, I mean farther than we would walk anywhere at home, but sometimes it seems like a long walk is a whole hell of a lot easier than figuring out the public transportation system. And so we went.

I saw a lot of cool buildings and colors on the way...

We finally got to where our map said the Asian Civilizations Museum was, in fact, theoretically it was right by the Singapore Art Museum and the National Singapore Museum and that seemed to make sense. But alas it was no where to be found. Our whole time here I have attributed my navigational skills to an infallible map that ultimately, and apparently, led us astray. It was okay though. It was hot as hell (what else is new?) and we were ready to sit down for a drink. As we made our way towards Raffles Hotel it started POURING rain. Like major downpour that would have California freeways STOPPED.

And then about 75 seconds later the rain stopped and we kept walking.

Raffles Hotel opened in 1887 and is named after Singapore's "founder" Sir Stamford Raffles. It's colonial style and Asian-British charm draws in tourists from all over the world. Almost everyone visits the Long Bar where the Singapore Sling was invented - there are peanut shells all over the ground, but the wood and vintage details make the ambiance perfect. As it turns out the hotel has a ton of interesting history (which you can read here, if you like.)

After our drinks we thought we'd head to the gardens, but alas the public transportation issue sort of appeared again. Yes, we could see the stop names on the subway map, but we couldn't really be sure if they were anywhere near where we wanted to go and add in a bus transfer somewhere and you've pretty much lost us. We both figured we didn't care enough about the gardens to shlep all the way over there, so instead we did a little shopping and kept on walking.

I read online that Singapore has the world's largest Ferris Wheel. Actually we saw it when we drove in from the airport and it's huge. Although "ferris wheel" is apparently too puerile a word for this thing and so they call it "The Singapore Flyer - the World's largest OBSERVATION WHEEL." Anyway. I really wanted to get a few photos of this thing, so I tried to steer us towards it.

On the way we found ourselves on the marina which had TONS of construction going on. I counted well over fifty cranes all along the bay's shoreline. I knew from our cab ride from the airport that one thing under construction was a new and fancy casino:

After a few moments of doubt and agreeing that we were both totally drained from the heat and all of the walking, we saw the Singapore Flyer peering over the treeline and we headed over there. I had no intention of going on it. Seriously, I just wanted one sweet photo. Please people, that is just too high and too scary.

But my mom said that dammit if we were walking all the way over there we were going to get on it whether I liked it or not.

I didn't like it. But I agreed. And I also paid for the tickets so that I wouldn't feel bad for staring at my feet the entire time. Come on! It's like 42 stories high! You can see Indonesia and Malaysia from the top!

I looked at the floor for a good portion of the time. Palms sweating, audio guide attached to my ear for distractionary purposes. My mom, bless her brave soul wandered about the cabin and took some photos for me. I took some too, but when I looked out the windows, I made sure to look any way BUT DOWN.

All in all I would say that I'm mostly happy that I went on the Singapore Flyer so that I could A. Blog about it, B. Brag about it and C. Never fucking do it again!!

We grabbed a cab back to Little India and decided to have a late lunch/early dinner. We hit up the same place we ate at yesterday, because hey, why mess with a good thing? It was delicious again.

Anyway. I've loved Singapore. I think one of the best parts about this trip is that every city we have visited has been vastly different from the one before - even if they were in the same country. Singapore has been no exception, in fact if anything, Singapore seems to be many different cities all packed into one.

Tomorrow it is back to Seoul for my brother's wedding, which I'm looking forward to. And then back home again.

Sigh.

Oh Asia. What a whirlwind it's been.

Little India and Arab Street

2009-11-03T03:39:00.000-08:00

We slept in more than usual today after coming in to Singapore late last night. Our hotel, as I mentioned, is itty bitty, teeny weeny (not pictured here) - smaller than my freshmen dorm room in Chico NO JOKE. But the internet is free and we get HBO, what more could we possibly need?

We are right smack in the middle of Little India and just as our guidebook says, it really does feel like we are in India itself. From the people to the saris and Punjabi suits to the temples and stores around.

It's pretty neat. While we did some shopping today my mom picked up a few long Indian shirts and I got a scarf that I love. We also stopped into an Indian crafts shop and were tempted by everything they had in stock.

And lastly for Little India today, we popped into a nearby Indian restaurant for dinner tonight and it was delicious. As I think about it, I'm pretty sure the only Indian food I've ever had was one chicken dish from a restaurant in San Francisco that also delivered pizza. Needless to say the food tonight was a bit more authentic and I'm glad we ate where we did.

After cruising around Little India this afternoon we made our way down Rochor Canal Road, up Victoria street and over to Arab Street.

Arab street has an enormous number of fabric and embellishment shops from silk to stores completely dedicated to ribbons. We also heard the prayers from the Sultan Mosque playing over the loudspeakers as we meandered through the shops. It was a colorful and interesting place to spend the afternoon.

I'm thinking tomorrow we will see some more classically Singapore sights like the Raffles Hotel and Museum and the orchid and botanical gardens for example. Stay tuned for that.

It is Tuesday and we are going to head back home this coming Sunday. In hindsight I'm not sure where the time went! Arriving in Singapore means we have visited seven cities, five countries, taken nine flights and had twelve stamps and two visas on our passports (so far!)

I guess when I put it that way, it's easy to see where the time went. What an amazing and interesting trip it has been. And yet still more to come. ;)

Phuket to Singapore via Kuala Lumpur

2009-11-03T02:07:00.001-08:00

Our time in Phuket was relaxing and a nice change up from the hustle and bustle of the big cities. We spent a lot of time lounging by our hotel's pool which overlooked the Andaman Sea - a perfect turquoise blue body of water that, at night, lit up with the glow of simple fishing boats in the distance. One day at low tide we went across the street to the beach and walked out as far we could go on the rocks and checked out the tide pools. It was pretty neat.

Every evening around 6pm it rained and our last night there had some intense thunder and lightning, but regardless of how hard it stormed it always cleared up within the hour. It was a really beautiful place. Today, before we left for the airport we took a quick trip to Patong Beach which is where the major tourist action is. It really had a sort of Cancun vibe and we were glad that our hotel was tucked away near Kamala Beach where it was more peaceful. All in all I would definitely recommend a trip to Phuket.

We made it to Singapore this evening...Actually it is about midnight and we spent most of the late afternoon and evening traveling. We had a short layover before a connecting flight in Kuala Lumpur which was kind of neat. Our hotel room here is teeny tiny! But we are excited to get out and see the city for the next two full days. So far everything that you hear about Singapore being the cleanest city ever is completely true - even down to the grooming of plants and trees, its pretty incredible. When I mentioned this to our cab driver he said, very practically, "Well. Yes, this is where we are living it is good to make a habit of keeping it nice."

Hm. Certainly makes sense to me.

Bye Bye Bangkok

2009-10-30T07:01:00.000-07:00

The night before we left Bangkok we went to Suan Lum Night Bazaar - a massive set of retail spaces near Lumphini park. This place had everything you could ever dream of buying while on vacation in Thailand.

From bathing suits to incense to buddha figures and of course plenty of counterfeit goods. Countless handbag knockoffs and watches that, when real, would set you back several thousand dollars and finally tons of North Face and Lowe Alpine backpacks.

Jon mentioned before I left that if there was one souvenier he might want from my trip here it was a "North Face" backpack - so it was my singular goal to walk away from the bazaar with one.

I've been practicing my bargaining skills on this trip. Also, it is just so easy to be taken advantage of as two female tourists in a part of the world we have never visited so I have learned to keep my game face on at all times. I approached the first "North Face" backpack vendor and asked him how much he wanted for one. Then I got to what I thought his lowest price was. I told him "ok, I'm going to come back." Then I went to the next guy and said "Well. That guy over there told me he would sell it for 'such and such' price. Can you beat that?" Inevitably each vendor was willing to offer a little bit less than the last. And when I felt like I had widdled the price down sufficiently I approached one final vendor. He wanted nearly $100 for the bag. I said "No way. That guy over there said he would sell it to me for $15. I'll just go back to him." He, of course said "No No, ok, I'll sell it to you for $15." It seemed pretty incredible that his price came down so fast and I assumed that must mean that it could go down even more. In the end I paid 10% of what he wanted. I was stoked and I continued to talk about and caress the bag all evening long which I think my mom got sick of.

I also approached one last vendor - backpack on my back I said "Listen. I don't want a bag. I have one here, I already bought it, I just want to know if it was a good deal." After convincing the guy that I did not need two of the same bag he told me his lowest price and with a slap on the shoulder I told him "BAM. I got this for less that THAT."

Victory: Schumanator.

But honestly I'm so over having to sift through the shit to get a fair price on things. Even our cab driver to the airport this morning wanted to barter for a fair price. I wasn't willing to budge on this point.

"Use the meter." I said.

He said "Ok, 400 baht. You pay tolls and you pay me go back fee"

Me: "Go back fee? You're a taxi driver, just pick up another tourist at the airport. No go back fee. Use the meter."

Him: "Ok, how much you pay me?"

Me: "We'll pay you what your meter says we owe you and we will pay the tolls" (which is normal)

Him: "Ok. and you pay go back fee" with this he starts the car and pulls away from the curb

Me: "Meter and tolls. Thats it."

Him: "Where you from?"

Mom: "US."

Him: "Ohhh. Big money."

Mom: "Not really anymore."

Me: "Maybe big money, but taxis still use meters there."

That seemed to settle it. Although conveniently when we arrived at the airport he didn't seem to have enough change for us.

To be fair to Bangkok, we didn't see much of the city - just the malls at the center of the city, the cabs, China Town where our hotel was and the insane traffic in between. But that being said of all of the cities we've been to so far I would say that Bangkok was my least favorite. I'm glad we stopped through, but I probably won't make a point of going back.

Phuket on the other hand....

Well. A girl could get used to it here.*

We arrived early this afternoon and after I took a nap I joined my mom outside on the large balcony that overlooked the ocean. It is utterly gorgeous here. We did a little swimming and later grabbed some dinner at the outdoor restaurant. The staff seemed to be checking the weather a lot while we ate. They all but licked their fingers and put them in the air to get a sense of where the wind was blowing. We've heard that it rains practically everyday here and as though on cue, just as we started to get full from our food the clouds starting dumping rain and the staff quickly and efficiently moved everyone under the overhang in under a minute. And just as quickly as the rain came, it went away.

Something that has been cracking me up is the way that my mom has been unintentionally talking to the locals. Cab drivers in particular. For some reason she feels the need to abbreviate her English so that they can understand her better. So she says things like:

"How many hour you work in one day?"
"You have son? How old he is?"
"We want go to airport. How much you charge?"

I'm not sure why she is doing this, but each time it comes up I take the opportunity to make fun of her for it.

After all...What are daughters for?

*Not too used to it though. I'm missing my Love, my dogs, my plants and my Mexican food.

Arrival in Bangkok

2009-10-28T03:42:00.000-07:00

We had a very leisurely last day in Cambodia. We got up later than normal, made our way down to the pool and swam and laid in the sun for about two hours. This fun was finally interrupted by our 11:30 appointment for massages. We had a voucher for 40% off so we each got a one hour massage for like $12 total. It was unreal, and my first professional massage! I fully understand the appeal now.

After our massages we had lunch and then returned to the room to get ready for a little bit of shopping. Siem Reap has a few marketplaces that you can visit and so we hit the Old Market which had a lot of colorful scarves and bags, a ton of silver, and other assorted Cambodian goodness. Everywhere accepted American money and while I absolutely love the things I bought, I don't think I spent over $10 on a single item.

We got to and from the market by Tuk Tuk. Tuk Tuks are everywhere in Asia - picture a motorcycle/scooter with a wooden cart attached to the back that can sit two people (or maybe up to four for inventive Cambodians). We were weary at first, but it ended up being a fabulous way to cool off from the intense heat. And it was a good way to see the back streets and local shops.

As I said before, we absolutely loved Cambodia. The people were very friendly and genuine and the fabulousness of our hotel was an unexpected treat.

This morning we caught our plane to Bangkok Thailand - a forty minute flight and just a hop, skip and a jump over the border. We're only staying here for two nights so tomorrow will be the only full day here. There aren't quite as many tourist sites to visit here, but we've heard the shopping is fantastic and I intend on fully investigating that myself tomorrow.

Our hotel room here is on the 14th floor which feels really really high and it gives us an awesome 180 degree view of Bangkok and Chinatown.

We'll see what tomorrow has in store for us and then it is on to Phuket for a few days at the beach.

A Day of Temples in Cambodia

2009-10-26T06:09:00.000-07:00

We LOVE Cambodia! It is gorgeous and green and the people are all incredibly friendly and open.

Today we spent most of the day touring the temples in the area, the most famous of course being Angkor Wat. But actually, there are a ton of temples in this area and as far as I am concerned Angkor Wat is not nearly the most beautiful. It does seem to be the largest though. A driver from our hotel took us from one temple to the next and we got to explore and take photos. I think this area is just starting to boom with tourism and as such we were able to walk on and through almost every single part of each of the ruins and only the very precarious and dangerous parts were blocked off for safety. I'm sure as foot traffic increases here there will be more and more parts that are off limits, so I feel really lucky to be here when we are.

Oh but lord is it hot here. So bloody hot. It feels like 110 degrees outside with 99% humidity. By the time we were leaving the last temple for the day, both my mom and I felt like we could literally faint or throw up it was so oppressively hot. My brother told us that Bangkok has heat and humidity like nothing we have ever experienced, but I wonder if he had been to Cambodia he might compare the two. Seriously, if you are like me and you show up here in a wool sweater you are a chump. Plain and simple.

We did not know what to expect when we got here, and I wasn't sure what our hotel would be like, but we lucked out. Not only is the hotel in a great location, but the service and attention we get here cannot possibly be matched by any hotel in the US unless you are paying thousands of dollars a night. If you're thinking about visiting southeast Asia I can't recommend coming to Siem Reap Cambodia enough, and further you must stay at the Pacific Hotel. It has been such a great experience so far.

Loving it!

I'm not sure what we'll do tomorrow, there is a night market that we can visit and also a hike we can take to get a great view of the sunset - and we could probably spend a lifetime and still not see all there is to see of the temples. We're just taking it one day at a time - stay tuned!

Tomorrowland

2009-10-25T07:21:00.000-07:00

Hi From Shanghai!

It's awesome here - truly futuristic. Our hotel is on Nanjing Road, which just one block from us turns into a massive pedestrian walkway and mall that has every kind of store imaginable. Taking one step out of our hotel and looking around it feels like we are in the movie Blade Runner or Back to the Future. The buildings are huge and a lot of them have circular/saucer shapes at the top... Sort of like the space needle in Seattle. Some of the buildings have large television screens that stretch the width and height of five floors. At night all of these buildings light up - it's a really beautiful place and a fun change from Beijing.

Yesterday we took a long walk to the Yu Gardens and Bazaar. The Yu Gardens were built during the Ming Dynasty and they are the very definition of peaceful serenity.

The gardens wind around through small stone caves and doorways and the curved rooftops are lined with the curvy body of a dragon.

The Bazaar at Yu Gardens also winds around a central point which is the zig zag bridge.

In ancient Chinese culture it was believed that evil spirits could not turn corners and thus the zig zag bridge keeps people safe. We bought a few things here, a SIM card for my mom's camera, a couple of small Chinese dolls, some postcards and a few other little souvenirs. One thing we've learned here is that every single price you encounter is negotiable. Every. Single. One. It's actually kind of fun and literally nine times out of ten, while negotiating, if we just say "okay, you know what, we'll think about it and come back" the salesperson says "OK! OK! FINE!" and we end up paying the price we've offered.

We planned on walking back to our hotel along the Bund - a long walkway on the edge of the Huangpu River that has a gorgeous view of the Pudong skyline. The Bund is famous for its colonial era buildings that still stand today. But as we made our way over there we realized that the entire thing had been torn up and was under construction - i'M assuming because Shanghai will be holding a World Expo in 2010. It was a bummer because I was hoping to get some good photos but it was also a bit scary as we ended up walking along a shoulderless street with tour buses and taxis wizzing by. Luckily we weren't the only ones, but if my seven days in China have taught me anything it is that it is best to steer clear of the crazy traffic at all costs.

One thing that further adds to the beauty and whimsy of Shanghai is how much the Shanghaiese seem to embrace the arts. Just today we have seen a group of elderly people dancing in couples in the public square - once they were finished a nice man came to us and said that they do it every morning for exercise since many of the men and women retire by the age of 50 or 55. He said that he was ninety years old and we simply could not believe it. He joked that it was probably "the dancing."

Then, as we walked further down Nanjing Rd. we came across what was deemed the 11th Annual Shanghai Arts Celebration, which had people beating drums, dancing and singing on a large stage, there were also awards for photography being handed out. And as if that wasn't enough, there is a sculpture exhibition literally across the street from our hotel in the small park.

And finally, as we headed back towards our hotel tonight after some delicious Haagen Dazs ice cream sundaes we came across a band that was set up about halfway down the block from our hotel. They played very well, but even more fun - there were couples dancing and twirling all over the sidewalk.

I have a great video of a few of these artsy events, but the internet here in Cambodia is so bloody slow I want to poke my eyes out (obviously I am posting this after drafting it up yesterday)...So those will come in a recap post when I get home in a few weeks.

People seem to smile more here and the light hearted nature of the atmosphere is contagious - though I will say that it is exceedingly crowded everywhere.

We love Shanghai, and I also really liked Beijing, but we are glad to keep moving on to Cambodia tomorrow (also will be glad to post these blogs that I've drafted up!). Stay tuned :)

The Great Wall and More

2009-10-25T07:02:00.001-07:00

We made a plan to take a tour of the Great Wall; a tour that had a bonus trip of seeing the Ming Tombs. We weren't exactly sure what to expect - and we didn't know what the Ming Tombs were (though we could make an educated guess), but it ended up being a very informational trip and I probably learned more about China in these eight hours than the rest of my life combined. We joined a (very) French couple and an Aussie policeman for the journey.

The Ming Tombs, as it turns out, were built by the third emperor of the Ming dynasty (after he overthrew his nephew, the second emperor of the Ming dynasty). Everything was constructed based on the fengshui of the location, which was scouted out by a fengshui master. There are mountains surrounding it on three sides and an open side facing south, and there was once a small river that flowed through it. There are thirteen Ming emperors buried in the tombs and they are underneath a massive circular mound. The empresses are buried there as well. When the emperor died, his concubines all ate a large meal and then committed suicide together. The concubines are buried just outside of the circular mound.

In ancient China they believed that heaven was represented by a circle, and Earth by a square. So the courtyards and buildings leading up to the tombs are square and a white archway that symbolizes the step between heaven and earth leads to the circular (heavenly) burial ground. When Chinese people walk though this archway on the way out of the circular area they say in Chinese "I have come back!" Since as they see it they have come back to symbolic Earth from symbolic Heaven.

We later made our way to the Great Wall, which was awesome.. The part that we visited was not as remote as the parts that you seen in some photos but once I climbed high enough I got a great view and a definite idea of what the wall is like. First and foremost, it is steep. Very very steep.

Jon and I have joked about the tours you can take that end up in the tour guide's brother's house - who just so happens to be a struggling artist that wants you to buy his art. (Which happened to Jon and his family on a Navajo reservation). But in China, you don't go to someone's house - you make unscheduled stops at government run factories/showrooms. We went to a Ming Vase factory, a jade factory and finally a fresh water pearl factory. At first it was quite interesting...

But by the fresh water pearl factory none of us wanted anything to do with it. The sales person to tourist ratio was 1:1 and if you so much as looked at something in the case, they were all over you with costs and deals. We tried to make our way outside, and our tour guide, who was a very nice and good guy said to us "Can you please stay for a little while longer? You don't need to buy anything, but they will not sign my paper to say that we came here unless we stay for a certain amount of time. It is my job."

Interesting, and it goes to show how much control the Chinese government has on it's people. Oh yeah, and Blogspot is blocked here (hence the late blogs). As is Facebook and a whole host of other social networking sites. I said to my mom while writing this, it is very interesting how much control the government has over the people, and yet the people celebrate the government with such determination and pride that it seems exceptionally counter intuitive. She said she thought it was because they HAVE to celebrate the government.

It has been a very educational and exciting experience to be in Beijing and we can't wait to keep the train moving to Shanghai.

Beijing: The Forbidden City

2009-10-25T04:03:00.000-07:00

When we first arrived in China we went through customs and my mom was stopped because her passport photo does not quite look like her in real life. The girl who was checking our passports called her supervisor over and he looked back and forth at my mom's photo. Then he asked her to smile (to see if maybe she looked more similar to her photo if she smiled). She smiled, but I was watching from a ways away and could tell she was sort of laughing at the whole thing. I'm not sure that bodes well with the Chinese immigration team.

The supervisor had three phones sitting on his desk. Two normal ones and one red one. He picked up the red phone and called someone else who eventually came down, asked for my mom's drivers license (which incidentally looks like yet a third and different version of my mom) and also took a photo of her with a digital camera. She took the passport, drivers license and digital photo to the "back" and somehow compared them. In the time that she was gone we sat in this tiny little four chair section that had a rope separating it from the regular foot traffic. It said "waiting area". In the time there we got to joking back and forth about the situation. Typical smug Americans.

"Listen buddy. I can give you ten million reasons why my photos don't look the same, starting with some recent weight loss and a hair-do overhaul and ending with the fact that I haven't slept in 36 hours."

"Well. We're going to have to call headquarters (CIA headquarters that is) and let them know that the new passport isn't working out"

Asian tourists congregated in a group nearby and we heard them sounding out the words "wait-ing ar-ea". Other judgmental travelers probably thought we were up to no good. Eventually we were able to go, but the whole situation put new meaning to the term "Forbidden City"

The next day we went to the real Forbidden City, which is just a few blocks away from our hotel. It took the better part of three hours to walk around, but there is no doubt that we could've spent days there and seen new things each time.

The patterns and the texture in some of the paintings and tile work were just incredible. Not to mention the immensity of the plazas and buildings (which are, like most everything else here based on the principles of Yin and Yang). Some buildings seemed to be renovated, and others were not - I learned later that only the main buildings were restored, and that is because the 2008 Olympics were in Beijing.

After the Forbidden City we went across the street to Jing Shan park, which has a great view of the city (as well as the pollution) and also has a large Buddha in the center pagoda that people were praying at.

We came back to the hotel for some lunch and then headed off again to Tian'an Men Square - which is also very close to our hotel and adjacent to the Forbidden City, to the South.

It was incredibly crowded. Most people were taking a walk around to see the large portrait of Chairman Mao - most of the visitors were Chinese. We walked to the other side of the square where there were huge red pillars (52 in all, representing the different cultural groups of China), and massive television screens that showed a very militaristic parade fully equipped with tanks, soldiers and missles. As it turns out, 2009 marks the 60th anniversary of the "people's revolution" and October 1st was National Day although it seems they are celebrating all month long. So we picked an intersting time to be in China and we have witnessed an immense amount of national pride. 60, in China, is more significant that 50 (which we put more value on in the US) as 60 generally means a "wholeness" or "completeness". A human life is viewed as 60.

Something that I wasn't expecting in Beijing are all of the tree lined streets. It is actually quite beautiful. Next up for us was the Great Wall and the Ming Tombs. Read on, Friend.

The Beginning of the Adventure

2009-10-18T15:58:00.000-07:00

People I am at Incheon International airport in Seoul and my mom and I are waiting for our flight to Beijing. It's 4:00pm at home, but here it is 8:05am the next day. I'm already confused and I keep asking mom, Wait...It's Monday? To further complicate things, Beijing is one hour "earlier" than Seoul coming in at 17 hours later than California.

Our flight here was fine. Singapore Airlines has tons of movies and tv shows to watch on demand and all seats have their own tv set. I watched Angels & Demons, Night at the Museum, The Hangover and Star Trek. After all that, there was still like four hours to kill.

Our flight basically raced the sunset and so it was light outside until we landed here in Seoul yesterday evening around 7pm. We went through customs and got our bags and found my brother and his fiancee waiting for us at the gate, which was awesome. It was also a little bit surreal.

We made our way to his car (this airport is HUGE by the way) and headed towards his house. This airport, much like the International one in Barcelona and Charles De Gaulle in Paris, is located about forty minutes outside of town. So it was a bit of a drive. Cody's house is located right near Namsan Tower. He lives on a very windy one lane street near a couple of embassy houses in a somewhat international part of town.

It was late, we were exhausted and there was nothing I wanted more than to clock out.

My brother has an interesting way of stressing me the fuck out about The Unknown that we might face. You know, don't look at anyone, don't take any airport taxis unless you want to be fully ripped off, don't sign up for any tours with people on the street, careful with that laptop - if it starts to smell like its on fire, you should probably turn it off, etc etc. I went to bed feeling significantly stressed out. But I eventually let it go. Hey, we're here. I think we'll figure it all out.

As we started thinking about it, we realized that our flight (the one I'm waiting for now) was going to leave at 8am. Since my brother goes to work very early, we planned to catch an airport bus which my brother would drop us off for....at 5am. Which meant this morning we woke up at 4:30. Miraculously, I haven't hit the wall yet. Getting up at 4:30 felt like getting up to my alarm for work. No biggie.

The bus came right as Cody dropped us off, which was lucky since it was still raining.

We've mosied around the airport and now we're hanging around waiting for the flight. I think we are both ready to get the sight seeing part of our trip underway and Beijing will be the perfect place to start. Our hotel there, Hotel Kapok, has free internet access, so I'll write more once I get my Tourist on.

Love from Asia.

PS. I haven't taken any photos yet as any moment we've been outside of the airport has been dark or raining. I'll post some from Beijing soon.

First Rain

2009-10-13T22:59:00.001-07:00

Dear California,

Seriously?

One day of rain in the past 300 days and it takes ten times as long to drive five miles?

Shame on you. You know better.

You and your varying climates.

As a native I truly understand the fear that is associated with driving during seasonal precipitation.

But there comes a point when one must swallow their inhibitions and drive over 5 miles per hour on the freeway.

I'm not asking you to speed.

Lord knows I don't want you tailgating me in this kind of weather.

Alls I'm saying is:

If we are all courteous, intelligent and focused drivers, then we ought to be able to operate our vehicles as such without issue. Even when it's a bit wet outside.

I think, together, we can find a way to avoid locked-up parking lot traffic. It's not a tsunami, a broken levee or instant global warming. It's just a little water.

Now go out there, drive safely, and thank god that we don't live in snow.

XOXOXO

Allie

PS. Avoid hydroplaning at all costs.

Not fun.

Ais-cation

2009-10-11T15:05:00.000-07:00

All of the sudden it is six days before my Ais-cation and I am not mentally prepared at all.

But trust me, that was all part of the plan.

Since I was a little kid I've looked forward to fun events, outings and holidays in an intense and obsessive sort of way. The promise of an out-of-the-ordinary and fun event had me counting down on calendars and chatting incessantly about whatever it was that was coming up. These days it's three day weekends, a low-tide beach at a convenient time, and three week adventures to another part of the Earth.

I'm not sure why this is, but I blame the annual Christmas advent calendar for encouraging such behavior.

So focused was I in my youth, that by the time I had five potential itineraries penciled and my entire bag packed, there was still at least eight days between me and the fun. And that is entirely too much time for an idle vacationer's mind to run wild.

In short, my little heart can't take the waiting. So I've instituted a sort of Purposeful Procrastination wherein I do not think of the upcoming event until it is very nearly upon me. And Friends, my Ais-cation is very nearly upon me.

I need visa photos for Cambodia and a seamstress to repair a small tear in the dress that I'll wear to my brother's wedding. I need to think of any possible work scenario that might come up while I'm gone. I should probably do laundry. I also should think about what exactly I want to do in each of places I am going. And how to get there. I should consider learning the basic Hello, Do you speak English? in the various dialects I'll encounter...I should probably return the pair of jeans I bought that would make me look so cool standing on the Great Wall of China. I MUST find a wedding present.

Or should I buy one while in Singapore or Bangkok, where the prices meet my current budget a little better?

Who knows.

But I have a lot of hopes for this trip. I think it will be something both my mom and I will be grateful to have done together. I hope to take a lot of photos of the places we go as the meaningful souvenirs of the adventure. I hope to enjoy my brother's wedding.

And also, I hope to think about what this blog is really all about. Is it funny? Is it crafty? A place to show photos I've taken? Is it just about my life? What I do from day-to-day, the scenarios that come together to make my experiences what they are?

We shall see.

Last Gasp of Summer

2009-09-27T19:34:00.000-07:00

We spent last weekend at Pat's cabin on Lake Donner. It was utterly perfect - 80 degree weather during the day, no wind and not a cloud in the sky. The lake water was calm and there were only a few boats. I spent every moment thinking of ways that I could soak up the last gasp of Summer.

I'd heard there was a canoe in the basement storage area. Apparently one day Jon's mom looked out the window and saw a big silver thing poking out of the beach sand. They dug it out and it was a massive silver canoe. Biggest canoe I ever saw in fact. I got it out this weekend and it seemed to be in great shape.

But of course there were a lot of questions - it hadn't been used since it was found. Does it float? Are there spiders living in there? Do we have oars?

As luck would have it there was a set of oars in the basement too.

We shoved off from the rocky beach into calm water and abundant sunshine and Friend I tell you it was utterly magical.

We paddled around, dipping our hands in the still water every once in awhile. We would stop and drift along for awhile and then pick it back up again. We bumped over the wake of other boats and glided over the large boulders underneath the surface.

Eventually and inevitably Jon and I decided to play a little game to see how fast we could make the old girl move. We are ALL about friendly competition. The sprint would involve a lot of digging, reaching, and well...rowing, so we took a moment or two to drift along before we counted down to start.

Jon said "You ready?" and I said "Let's do this!" and when I tell you we were taking it extremely seriously I am not even exaggerating.

But as soon as we both dug in to row, the canoe rocked a uncharacteristically. I shot Jon a concerned look, knowing that rocking in such a way would definitely take seconds off of our finish line time. But when I turned to look at him he was holding up his oar, Which, after one meaningful stroke he literally bent into a 90 degree angle.

You see he's very strong.

But bending a metal object in water by brute force, Who does that?

Anyhow, we headed back towards the cabin, and with only one working oar I was determined to do my share of the paddling. But after just a few strokes we found ourselves in an unrecoverable left turn. If I hadn't handed my oar to Jon I'm sure we would have drifted into the nearby docks with the rest of the lake debris.

The day was capped off by a fabulous dinner at Cottonwood restaurant, which has a great patio with a view of old-town Truckee. We had a few drinks, good food and I had a truly delicious creme brulee.

And just when we thought the day couldn't get any better, we ended up playing Trivial Pursuit until 1:30 in the morning. Singing, laughing and...cheating. It was a blast.

Things I could have done to avoid the car accident this morning

2009-09-22T22:46:00.000-07:00

I got in a minor three car accident this morning on my way to work, through no fault of my own. I'm fine and the Accord, which is a veritable compact Japanese tank that swallows lesser cars, took the hit well.

But the whole thing is a pain in my ass. And I think the most frustrating part of it is that there are a million things I could have done to avoid the situation.

For example, this morning I could have:

Gotten up early

Hit snooze (again)

Read one more page of the Fall edition of Better Homes and Gardens while the shower water heated (I do love a creative Fall centerpiece)

Moisturized

Ironed my pants

Found the other black sweater

Flossed

Put on deodorant

Dried my hair

Found a silver-friendly necklace to wear

Packed a lunch

Discussed the details of Plaxico Burress's imprisonment a bit longer

Checked the traffic for the least-congested route

Hugged Jon Boy goodbye for one more second

Let that other driver into my lane (instead of speeding up)

Taken the new found "back way"

Applied the e-brake while I saw the car behind me coming too fast

Blinked, breathed, sighed or yawned just one more time

Low Tide

2009-09-20T14:38:00.000-07:00

Greening the Back

2009-09-12T18:46:00.000-07:00

My front porch gets a lot of garden love. I mean. I don't have "space" or "a yard" for a garden, but I've experimented with container gardening for the past four years here with varying successes and it has sort of become my most satisfying hobby.

Right now on the porch I have rosemary, chives, snapdragons, yellow squash, tomatoes, (dying) bell peppers, a homemade topiary, a bunch of herbs whose names I know not, and a couple other plants that are cute.

So with the maybe 10 sq feet space that all of these things fit in, we're sort of at plant capacity in the front right now. But I'm not satisfied. These plants are surviving, and thriving as best they can, and I'm very proud of them - but I finally decided that I needed more space and was ready to take on our back patio area.

We live in a townhouse in San Francisco. There's a big community grass area out back that is perfect for the dogs, but the space that we call "ours" is relatively small. I haven't paid too much attention to it even though we see it constantly, but once I realized that shade plants were just as fun as sunny plants I started day dreaming about what we could do with the back patio...On a budget.

So today Jon and I cleaned up anything that could be thrown away. An old barbecue, a lot of pine needles, an unappealing door-mat and the dry soil in my spare terracotta pots.

We had a few long wooden boards from when Jon worked on the house in Oakland that we kept, and with $10.00 worth of cinder blocks we made a really simple shelf for some shade-friendly plants.

Entertained

2009-09-01T21:40:00.000-07:00

It's pretty much the off-season for good television and can I just tell you that it's killing me?

What happened to the days when Sunday was Sopranos. Monday had Rome. Tuesday-Thursday held American Idol AND Lost AND The Office AND Project Runway. It was almost too much TV. There weren't enough evening hours to fit in all of the entertainment in front of us.

But now? Desperation. Jon & Kate Plus 8 rolls across my television screen like a lone tumbleweed in the desert.

Despite the tragedy of it all, we've managed to get by...and with some really random shows too.

1. Weeds - Ok. Weeds doesn't count as "getting by", it's just good television. And yeah there was a span of time just before Nancy got FULLY involved with Esteban that it got a little ridiculous. But as far as I'm concerned since she moved to Mexico it got SO good again. (And how much do you love the place she lives in?) Huh. Too bad the (amazing) season finale was yesterday.

2. Shaq Vs. - Wow. You need to check this out at least once. In this series Shaq challenges some of the best athletes in the world at their own sports. So far he's competed against Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, Olympic Volleyball duo Misty-May Trainer and Kerri Walsh, and St Louis Slugger Albert Pujols.

In each of these instances Shaq has lost - but I think the most interesting thing about the show is that going in to it, you feel like there is always the possibility that he has a fighting chance. I mean, the man is like 7'2. And as far as his coaches are concerned, he's extremely agile for a guy of his size - and on top of that, you know, there are just some people who are all-around athletes? Like Steve Nash, Bo Jackson, "Neon" Deion Sanders and AC Slater? Shaq is one of those guys. It's good TV.

3. Hardknocks - Yeah this is how desperate it is. Two of my favorite shows during the week are sports shows. Please trust that as soon as the actual games come on I completely tune out, but something about the reality shows with the players are so damn good.

Hardknocks follows the preseason of the Cincinnati Bengals (they follow a different team each year). From training camp to the preseason games, you see players join the team and get kicked off. Star players getting season killing injuries, and personal stories that put an interesting twist on a sport I would not give a shit about were it not for my boyfriend's obsession.

4. Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern - This Travel Channel show is such a wonderful and random jewel. The best part about it is, I don't know when new episodes are going to be on, but every time I turn around there's another one I haven't seen.

Andrew Zimmern is the perfect host because no matter where he is (Africa, Asia, Appalachia) or what he is eating (Squirrel brains, bugs or beavers) there is nary an awkward moment. And seriously - can you imagine how not delicious some of those meals are?

But food is a delicate subject. Telling someone that you don't like their culture's food is almost like not accepting the culture at all. And so Andrew Zimmern always finds something to say and manages to be pretty funny about it all in the end.

5. Project Runway - Finalmente! I am loving the new Project Runway and am so glad that despite the delays, we finally get to see it. I haven't fully formed my opinions on the contestants yet; I think I'll have a top 3 to report by the end of this week.

The designers are obviously the focus of the show, but I would not even consider tuning in if it weren't for Michael Kors and Tim Gunn - they are hilarious - and I can't even think about them without remembering Santino's impressions...

Pandemonium at the Salami Factory

2009-08-28T09:26:00.000-07:00

Um. The fire Marshall and police departments asked me to stay home today due to an ammonia leak at the nearby Salami Factory...

I think I'll listen.

Fall First

2009-08-26T20:24:00.000-07:00

We've been bored, so we said even if the weather wasn't great this afternoon we'd go for a walk at the beach.

At work today it felt like the height of Summer, but back on my side of the peninsula it was almost the foggiest day of the year.

Constant fog (maybe I've mentioned this?) isn't my favorite, but sometimes a really heavy day of fog is fun - it's almost an experience. It makes me think of cold nights trick-or-treating, bare trees and a wet leafed ground. Getting dressed up for a warm Thanksgiving-time gathering. The smell of Christmas.

I never thought I'd say this...

but I'm excited for Winter.

Otherwise Engaged

2009-08-20T17:18:00.001-07:00

My family got some happy news recently. My brother, Cody, is engaged to be married.

Cody is two years older than me and while we share a handful of familial traits, we have often been referred to as "night and day". I was a loud kid - he was quiet. He is always self employed - I lack the overall motivation. My mischief making involved ill-fated shoplifting attempts - his involved ninja stars and bottle rockets. My mom says that I seemed to relish in the thrill of getting lost. My brother did not get lost. He dresses better than me, smells better than me, and probably has a cleaner house than me too.

Though we were different, as kids, we hung out together all the time. We mostly did the stuff he wanted to do: built forts, played with magnifying glasses and messed with the sling shot. Any kind of rough-housing that could lead to the little sister (me) getting injured seemed to go over well. It's been a long time since we've flung one another out of the high-side of a swinging hammock, or ridden make-shift sleds down the staircase, but overall I think we had a fun and funny time together as kids. I'm very excited to share his celebration with him on November 7.

Cody has lived in Asia for the past 5 years or so. First in Japan and now currently (and for the past two years) in Seoul, South Korea. His fiancee is Korean and they will be married in Seoul. He said its normal to take the wedding photos before the wedding - thus explains the tux and gown in that photo.

When my mom first called me to talk about the voyage across the Pacific we were approaching it from two different standpoints. I assumed that we'd go to Seoul for a week or so, have the wedding and then return home. My mom saw the trip as an opportunity to travel around Asia, to take as much time off from work as she could and to hit up as many places as the time would reasonably allow. Naturally, when I realized she aimed to take me on this trip with her, I gladly and gratefully readjusted my expectations and bought a couple of travel books.

When I went home to San Diego last weekend my mom and I spread a big map across the coffee table and looked at where we wanted to go.

We knew the dates that we would be gone (three weeks in all) so we booked our flights to and from South Korea, which felt like a big milestone. By the end of Saturday we pretty much knew what the outline of our trip would look like. As of right now our trek will take us through these places....

Seoul, South Korea
Beijing, China
Shanghai, China
Angkor, Cambodia
Bangkok, Thailand
Phuket (or Ko Samui), Thailand
Singapore, Malaysia
Seoul, South Korea

We'll probably plan as much as we can on our own and for tricky details we'll check with a travel agent. Needless to say I am ridiculously excited. Along with getting our flights we also sent in our applications for Chinese visas, a process that meant sending our passports to someone...which just seems like ASKING to get scammed to me. But apparently it's common.

On Monday we got our vaccinations and pills. I got 4 shots, mom got 3. We each got pill forms of Typhoid Fever vaccinations, malaria tablets and the ominous diarrhea stopping pills. Something about the last one being standard issue is worrisome. All in all the bill for all of the medical precautions was almost $900. INSANITY I tell you.

It's still sinking in really. I always thought I'd go to Asia, but there are so many places I want to go, that I assumed Asia might be 10 or 20 years down the line. A far off possibility. A dream.

But I know the trip will sneak up on me - after all it's less than two months away. I'm going to spend the time reading up, practicing my Korean and Chinese (which seem to come out with Spanish accents) and meditating on how to embrace every moment of the adventure. I also need to get Cody a wedding gift. A classy one. One that says "I'm here for more than just the free trip" that quietly and supportively says "Congratulations, and welcome to the family."

So if you have any trip recommendations or wedding present ideas, holler at me.

Yelpers are Usually Right

2009-08-13T18:04:00.000-07:00

I've grown almost completely dependent on YELP.COM. I won't try a new place (business, restaurant, city park etc) unless I check it out on Yelp first and I feel like it has had an adequate enough rating from other people. It's almost an obsession at this point, but at the same time it has opened the door to such delicious eateries as Luna Park Cafe and Julie's Liquor and Deli in Brisbane. Some good craft stores as well. The user review based website is the perfect place to look if you need a hairstylist, want a tattoo, are about to move or have just moved. Or if you're like me and you haven't taken the initiative to go out and "meet" the city on your own.

I wish we would have yelped housing complexes in San Francisco BEFORE we moved here, because if I had I read the reviews of The Villas at Park Merced we probably would have kept looking. Because I would have seen that of eighty reviews on a scale of one-to-ten, Park Merced gets an average 1.5 stars.

The first sentences of the entries read like this:

-This apartment complex is not even worthy of a negative review, that is how bad my experience was with them.

-Park Merced is a classic shit-hole.

-I don't even want to give them any stars... but since i have to, the star is dedicated to the fact that i don't live their any more!

-This place is a shit hole.

-I don't have horror stories like some other people, but After living here 6 months I am leaving.

-NEGATIVE STARS!

-if i could find a cheaper place anywhere close to campus, i would. unfortunately i couldn't, so i am stuck in this place that sucks fat hairy midget balls.

-This place is absolutely horrible

-GOD HELP ME! The one star I am forced to give this place is all for the grass and the grounds.

-I've lived here for four years and have had a tantamount of problems

-I'm lucky to be able to say that I've never lived here. Having spent my last four years at SFSU I know a lot of suckers who did live here and paid dearly.

-Yikes.

-Everyone else sums it up pretty well. Don't live here. Just don't. You'll regret it.

-Living in a townhouse at the villas was basically glorified camping.

When I read all of these today I'm not sure whether I felt depressed that I was living amongst the utter dissatisfaction of my neighbors or if it was the sweet reassurance I needed to solidify what I've known all along. This place blows.

It took a year or two before we really realized how much it sucked. Mold in the bathroom and a ceiling that pealed paint. A dishwasher planted in such a way that you cannot stand at the sink AND load the dishwasher at the same time. The insanely bad water pressure in the shower. Screen-less windows. Dated kitchen. White washed EVERYTHING.

I know, I know - You're wondering why we don't just move. Pack up. Ship out. Get the fuck out of Dodge. Sure, moving is a pain, but it might be worth it in the end?

What's funny is that every 7 or 8 months Jon and I go through that exact discussion. We get all riled up. We swear to each other that this is the time that we mean it, come hell or high water we will get out of this place.

But the plain truth is, we never do. The pets, the money and the commute to work are always the main factors in staying. This place has us tied down like bad credit card debt. So we settle back in and forget for at least a few weeks that living here is like serving a sentence. Together, thankfully. But a sentence none the less.

In thinking about this post on my way home from work, I wondered how I could leave it on a high note. I mean, what's there to say about a shitty townhouse? At least it's home? I stepped up to our front stoop and as I approached I noticed that the sidewalk beside our door was blooming snap dragons. After years of watering my plants on the steps above, the concrete is now sprouting these gorgeous little flower blooms all along the crack. And it did feel like home. It might just be enough to know that eventually I'll be leaving the place a little prettier than I found it.

(Don't move here though.)

Still Loving the New Camera

2009-08-12T22:00:00.000-07:00

Hating bloggers block on the other hand.

Here are some photos from the beach today. It was gorgeous again (I know, what can I say - we get three nice days a year and sometimes they come all in a row.) I swear I'll have new and exciting things to blog about by the end of this week. Promise.

Evening at the End of the Earth

2009-08-06T20:11:00.000-07:00

We took the dogs to the beach today around five and it was a gorgeous day. Sometimes it will seem nice at our house and when we get to the beach,2.5 miles away, it is windy and about to be covered with a heavy marine layer. There wasn't a cloud in the sky this evening and the wind was very calm...Perfect for frisbee throwing.

When I first went to Fort Funston, shortly after we moved here, it was like visiting the Earth after civilization had ended. It is calm and vast. Weathered and broken-down cement buildings pop up out of sandy hills and low tide beaches. You can see passages that once lead up through the sea cliffs and abandoned bunkers that would, at high tide be inaccessible.

But along with all of the military relics that have been grown over, there is plenty of natural beauty too. An archway that has eroded with the cliff, the trees and coastal plants, and wildlife - like the whales I saw once, or the seal we saw today.

It's a good walk, a cool view and probably the best place to see a sunset in San Francisco. We're lucky to have it so close by.

Bill is a Big Bitch: Pilot Episode

2009-08-04T19:58:00.000-07:00

One day Jon and I were talking about how much we absolutely, genuinely hate Bill O'Reilly. Like, Anne-Coulter-pie-in-the-face, sock-you-in-the-fucking-balls HATE. We were bantering back and forth about what we might yell at Bill if we saw him in person someday, or how we could possibly convey our dislike in the most effective manner. In the end Jon decided that he should make a t-shirt with maybe this photo, or this one, and the words BILL IS A BIG BITCH on it. Simple, to the point, but at the same time reaching so many people.

I don't really want "Big Bitch" written on my shirt anywhere, never mind an iron-on of Bill'O. But I actually don't mind either on my blog.

Introducing the new "Bill is a Big Bitch" series wherein the author (yours truly) will choose one quote from the day's news to prove yet again, that O'Reilly needs to go the way of the dodo.

From today's (8/4/09) Fair and Balanced News on the release of Euna Lee and Laura Ling, O'Reilly had the following to say about Kim Jung Il:

"Clinton actually had to go to dinner with this midget, okay? He actually had to go to a state dinner and sit there and eat with this clown...and I admire him for doing it for the ladies. I don't know if I could have done it.

....Half way around the world to dine with that clown? [shakes head] uh-uh."

Power to....The People

2009-07-22T17:48:00.000-07:00

In the last hour of work today I was wrapping up a few small tasks. It was a pretty slow day. Courtney sent over a link for a couple of YouTube videos that she said were hilarious and I of course had to watch.

It only slightly worried me that the first video was called Penis Power and the second was called Vagina Power. Not that I couldn't handle it, and not that I didn't have headphones, but I wasn't entirely comfortable with the words appearing anywhere on my work screen. So I pulled up an Excel document and looked very busy with it.

To be clear, these videos aren't hilarious because the woman in them is making jokes. They're hilarious because she is crazy. She definitely has a no-nonsense approach to addressing the female need for, ahem, attention, but it is also equally clear that this woman has been hurt. Played. Made a fool. These are angry PenisPower words. Disgruntled VaginaPower words. And yet the all-knowing tone with which she delivers her monologues makes one want to believe that what she is saying is fact.

I was halfway through the second video when I got an instant message from one of our engineers. He asked me a question that I didn't know the answer to, but I resolved to pretend like I did anyway. He asked me to go to a particular URL. I had to search through my email to find the link, and since that always takes forever I opened up a new tab in the browser in the meantime and searched my internet history.

The woman in the video had just said "What the fuck does that shit mean? What does Easter and damn Jesus rising up have to do with each other?" and all of the sudden the engineer was in my peripheral vision. He snuck up on me like the Pink Panther. I ripped the earphones out of my ear and said "Oh, I don't have the URL, I have to search for it." But he was already pointing to the second and blank tab on my browser window.

There is not a doubt in my mind that this co-worker, this conservative and sort of quiet Indian man, in that instant saw the first tab of the browser. The tiny, itty bitty little label at the top of the page that said:

VAGINA POWER

I knew he had seen it because that is just what happens when you are looking at someone else's computer at work. You don't mean to eavesdrop, but you can't stop your mind from reading a word like you can't stop it from thinking a thought. So Lord help you if you have something ridiculous up when someone surprises you.

I'm not sure what was more uncomfortable: the moment I knew he had seen the words, or the ensuing two minutes wherein we both pretended that he hadn't. Either way I swear to God he was backing away from me as we talked.

If it were me walking up to his computer, and he had Penis Power somewhere on the screen, I would not have been able to keep it a secret. It would be just too good. But in my case, there may not have been a better person to catch me red-handed. He is most likely far too mortified to mention it to anyone.

Foggy With a Chance of Fog

2009-07-21T17:46:00.000-07:00

Have I mentioned to you people that I live under an unending and inevitably predictable blanket of fog? Well I do and I would highly recommend against it.

When I first moved to San Francisco I knew the old saying "the coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco blah blah blah" And call me crazy but I envisioned this frozen concrete jungle to be resting under clear skies. Calm and still blue skies - the kind you see in the dead of Winter in San Diego when the temperature drops to a chilling 59 degrees and yet there is still not a cloud in the sky. Why would it be any different in San Francisco? This is after all the same state, and California DOES have a reputation for good weather.

But the very first day we moved in it was gray, overcast and cold. In my naivete I assumed this was a fluke. A freak summer day. And that day turned into a week and that week turned into a month and that month turned in to a year and fuck me, its foggy here.

It took close to six months before I realized that just five minutes up the 280 North, it was sunny. And not just a patch of blue sky here and there, but a decipherable line in the sky between the sun and the fog. This is the beauty of the San Francisco microclimates. Downtown can be having a heat wave and at our house we are wondering if our plants will survive without natural light.

This weather really suits some people. The jacket wearers, the over heaters. But it doesn't really suit me. Not after a glorious sunny childhood in Southern California and a brief stop over in hot NorCal. It was after a year here that I realized, the lack of sun was really bringing me down. And another year before I readily admitted that, yes, the dreary climate was directly affecting my mood and my energy level.

But then I got a new job and began traveling a whole 15 minutes to work and it seriously felt like driving into Florida each and every day. Hello Sunshine. Though the building was sort of awkward it was situated right on the Bay and had some cool views. Best of all it was almost always sunny because San Bruno Mountain held the fog back until the evening.

When we moved offices about a month ago we moved ONE FREEWAY EXIT South. One exit down the freeway and we are back in the fog. Granted, from the office we can see the line between the sun and the fog, we are just on the dark side of the two.

Somehow though, being able to see the blue sky is enough. If I feel really deprived I can take a five minute walk and be back in the sun and by the water. I also take comfort in the fact that there is photographic evidence of my plight....Proof I tell you! (click on the photos for specific photo credit as none of these are mine)

(Flickr)

(Panoramio)

(Flickr)

Cosas Favoritas

2009-07-20T13:55:00.000-07:00

Some things that are bringing me happiness at the moment...

1. Blooming Snapdragons. One of the few plants that thrive on our front steps

2. These two photos. One taken in Spain the other in Oaxaca, Mexico (Hi Roo!)...I can't figure out what to do with them, so for now I just stare at them

3. Easter chocolate tin. How cute is this? Perfect size for colored pencils, stickers, note cards etc

4. Fossils. This tray of fossils was a Birthday gift and a most perfect one at that

5. Sprouting Jade Plant. Livening up the area under the kitchen window

6. Dominoes. Did I mention I made some? Love them

7. Blooming tomato plant. While watering I noticed my tiny tomato plant was sprouting not one, not two, but THREE tomatoes. My first three homegrown tomatoes

I have one in my living room right now!

2009-07-14T18:04:00.000-07:00

This last week Jon's company, Demand Evolution, announced to the world that they were ready to take orders for their multi-touch screens. They've had an awesome response from people out there in Internet Land and it is truly amazing how easily word is passed by a simple "tweet" or one swift click on the "share this" icon." I think it's been really exciting for Jon after over a year of innovation and very exciting for his partners as well.

So for my readers that don't know what multi-touch technology is (which is presumably all of you) let me break down the two Demand Evolution products so that you can get an idea of what they really do and how they do it.

1. The Gecko:
Unlike when you use an ATM and can only use one action, when you use a multi-touch screen you can grab and move, drag and select items in several places at once. You can enlarge photos by pulling on them and you can type on a keyboard on screen.

There are a few ways of doing this - Demand Evolution uses cameras that watch fingers moving by turning them in to mouse points. Infrared light illuminates the front of the screen so that when fingers touch they reflect light, which the camera is filtered to see. Jon relates what the camera sees to what it looks like when you hold a flashlight up to your fingertips.

The Gecko is a complete 30" LCD screen and has crystal clear resolution.

2. The Kit
The kit is essentially the same as the Gecko, but with a different display method. It is designed to be portable, durable but most of all affordable for developers, musicians or anyone else working with multi-touch technology. It is 50" and requires some assembly and a projector.

As my mom, grandmother, friend or coworker, someone who is not working with multi-touch at all, you might wonder how in the hell you would put one of these to use. How is it practical to use this in your everyday life? The truth is the ways that you will use it are as yet undefined. Jon's products are just the hardware for the next generation of computer interaction. It's up to the software developers to create the best ways to use it.

Of course Demand Evolution will have a few ideas of their own...

Trivial Things

2009-07-08T17:14:00.000-07:00

Jon and I have taken to playing Trivial Pursuit when we don't have anything else going on. Actually, to be more clear we don't PLAY it because board games with two people are about as fun as playing catch with yourself. We just ask each other questions back and forth; a veritable lightning round of impossible trivia.

I remember playing Trivial Pursuit once as a kid and I thought that the questions were so hard the experience lacked any amount of fun at all. That hasn't changed much really - on a good day we will know maybe 1/4 of the answers to the questions we ask each other, and that involves giving hints.

What further complicates the exercise is that our edition of Trivial Pursuit was purchased at Salvation Army and it is from 1981. The game actually pre-dates both Jon and I. Which means its more of a cold-war era obsessed historical journey than it is a rousing game of DIY jeopardy.

I get more answers right when I mentally prepare for the time warp. Back to a time when Hong Kong was still a crown colony of Great Britain. When Prince Charles and Diana were just married and the turn of the millenium was but a mere glow in the distance.

And I find it's best to remember that regardless of the category, chances are the answer is China, Mao ZeDong, Ronald Reagan, Gymnastics, Bay of Pigs, Robert McNamara, East Germany, Michael Gorbachev, Patti Hearst, Symbionese Liberation Army, Burma, First dog in space, Rhodesia - you get the point.

And when none of those seem to apply, I always answer jai alai. There is absolutely no reason for it and I have never actually seen anyone play this fast paced Basque originated sport, but friend I'll tell you it has proven correct on more than one occasion.