In the last hour of work today I was wrapping up a few small tasks. It was a pretty slow day. Courtney sent over a link for a couple of YouTube videos that she said were hilarious and I of course had to watch.
It only slightly worried me that the first video was called Penis Power and the second was called Vagina Power. Not that I couldn't handle it, and not that I didn't have headphones, but I wasn't entirely comfortable with the words appearing anywhere on my work screen. So I pulled up an Excel document and looked very busy with it.
To be clear, these videos aren't hilarious because the woman in them is making jokes. They're hilarious because she is crazy. She definitely has a no-nonsense approach to addressing the female need for, ahem, attention, but it is also equally clear that this woman has been hurt. Played. Made a fool. These are angry PenisPower words. Disgruntled VaginaPower words. And yet the all-knowing tone with which she delivers her monologues makes one want to believe that what she is saying is fact.
I was halfway through the second video when I got an instant message from one of our engineers. He asked me a question that I didn't know the answer to, but I resolved to pretend like I did anyway. He asked me to go to a particular URL. I had to search through my email to find the link, and since that always takes forever I opened up a new tab in the browser in the meantime and searched my internet history.
The woman in the video had just said "What the fuck does that shit mean? What does Easter and damn Jesus rising up have to do with each other?" and all of the sudden the engineer was in my peripheral vision. He snuck up on me like the Pink Panther. I ripped the earphones out of my ear and said "Oh, I don't have the URL, I have to search for it." But he was already pointing to the second and blank tab on my browser window.
There is not a doubt in my mind that this co-worker, this conservative and sort of quiet Indian man, in that instant saw the first tab of the browser. The tiny, itty bitty little label at the top of the page that said:
VAGINA POWER
I knew he had seen it because that is just what happens when you are looking at someone else's computer at work. You don't mean to eavesdrop, but you can't stop your mind from reading a word like you can't stop it from thinking a thought. So Lord help you if you have something ridiculous up when someone surprises you.
I'm not sure what was more uncomfortable: the moment I knew he had seen the words, or the ensuing two minutes wherein we both pretended that he hadn't. Either way I swear to God he was backing away from me as we talked.
If it were me walking up to his computer, and he had Penis Power somewhere on the screen, I would not have been able to keep it a secret. It would be just too good. But in my case, there may not have been a better person to catch me red-handed. He is most likely far too mortified to mention it to anyone.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Foggy With a Chance of Fog
Have I mentioned to you people that I live under an unending and inevitably predictable blanket of fog? Well I do and I would highly recommend against it.
When I first moved to San Francisco I knew the old saying "the coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco blah blah blah" And call me crazy but I envisioned this frozen concrete jungle to be resting under clear skies. Calm and still blue skies - the kind you see in the dead of Winter in San Diego when the temperature drops to a chilling 59 degrees and yet there is still not a cloud in the sky. Why would it be any different in San Francisco? This is after all the same state, and California DOES have a reputation for good weather.
But the very first day we moved in it was gray, overcast and cold. In my naivete I assumed this was a fluke. A freak summer day. And that day turned into a week and that week turned into a month and that month turned in to a year and fuck me, its foggy here.
It took close to six months before I realized that just five minutes up the 280 North, it was sunny. And not just a patch of blue sky here and there, but a decipherable line in the sky between the sun and the fog. This is the beauty of the San Francisco microclimates. Downtown can be having a heat wave and at our house we are wondering if our plants will survive without natural light.
This weather really suits some people. The jacket wearers, the over heaters. But it doesn't really suit me. Not after a glorious sunny childhood in Southern California and a brief stop over in hot NorCal. It was after a year here that I realized, the lack of sun was really bringing me down. And another year before I readily admitted that, yes, the dreary climate was directly affecting my mood and my energy level.
But then I got a new job and began traveling a whole 15 minutes to work and it seriously felt like driving into Florida each and every day. Hello Sunshine. Though the building was sort of awkward it was situated right on the Bay and had some cool views. Best of all it was almost always sunny because San Bruno Mountain held the fog back until the evening.
When we moved offices about a month ago we moved ONE FREEWAY EXIT South. One exit down the freeway and we are back in the fog. Granted, from the office we can see the line between the sun and the fog, we are just on the dark side of the two.
Somehow though, being able to see the blue sky is enough. If I feel really deprived I can take a five minute walk and be back in the sun and by the water. I also take comfort in the fact that there is photographic evidence of my plight....Proof I tell you! (click on the photos for specific photo credit as none of these are mine)
(Flickr)
(Panoramio)
(Flickr)
(Flickr)
When I first moved to San Francisco I knew the old saying "the coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco blah blah blah" And call me crazy but I envisioned this frozen concrete jungle to be resting under clear skies. Calm and still blue skies - the kind you see in the dead of Winter in San Diego when the temperature drops to a chilling 59 degrees and yet there is still not a cloud in the sky. Why would it be any different in San Francisco? This is after all the same state, and California DOES have a reputation for good weather.
But the very first day we moved in it was gray, overcast and cold. In my naivete I assumed this was a fluke. A freak summer day. And that day turned into a week and that week turned into a month and that month turned in to a year and fuck me, its foggy here.
It took close to six months before I realized that just five minutes up the 280 North, it was sunny. And not just a patch of blue sky here and there, but a decipherable line in the sky between the sun and the fog. This is the beauty of the San Francisco microclimates. Downtown can be having a heat wave and at our house we are wondering if our plants will survive without natural light.
This weather really suits some people. The jacket wearers, the over heaters. But it doesn't really suit me. Not after a glorious sunny childhood in Southern California and a brief stop over in hot NorCal. It was after a year here that I realized, the lack of sun was really bringing me down. And another year before I readily admitted that, yes, the dreary climate was directly affecting my mood and my energy level.
But then I got a new job and began traveling a whole 15 minutes to work and it seriously felt like driving into Florida each and every day. Hello Sunshine. Though the building was sort of awkward it was situated right on the Bay and had some cool views. Best of all it was almost always sunny because San Bruno Mountain held the fog back until the evening.
When we moved offices about a month ago we moved ONE FREEWAY EXIT South. One exit down the freeway and we are back in the fog. Granted, from the office we can see the line between the sun and the fog, we are just on the dark side of the two.
Somehow though, being able to see the blue sky is enough. If I feel really deprived I can take a five minute walk and be back in the sun and by the water. I also take comfort in the fact that there is photographic evidence of my plight....Proof I tell you! (click on the photos for specific photo credit as none of these are mine)
(Flickr) (Panoramio)(Flickr)(Flickr)
Monday, July 20, 2009
Cosas Favoritas
Some things that are bringing me happiness at the moment...
1. Blooming Snapdragons. One of the few plants that thrive on our front steps
2. These two photos. One taken in Spain the other in Oaxaca, Mexico (Hi Roo!)...I can't figure out what to do with them, so for now I just stare at them
3. Easter chocolate tin. How cute is this? Perfect size for colored pencils, stickers, note cards etc
4. Fossils. This tray of fossils was a Birthday gift and a most perfect one at that
5. Sprouting Jade Plant. Livening up the area under the kitchen window
6. Dominoes. Did I mention I made some? Love them
7. Blooming tomato plant. While watering I noticed my tiny tomato plant was sprouting not one, not two, but THREE tomatoes. My first three homegrown tomatoes
1. Blooming Snapdragons. One of the few plants that thrive on our front steps
2. These two photos. One taken in Spain the other in Oaxaca, Mexico (Hi Roo!)...I can't figure out what to do with them, so for now I just stare at them
3. Easter chocolate tin. How cute is this? Perfect size for colored pencils, stickers, note cards etc
4. Fossils. This tray of fossils was a Birthday gift and a most perfect one at that
5. Sprouting Jade Plant. Livening up the area under the kitchen window
6. Dominoes. Did I mention I made some? Love them
7. Blooming tomato plant. While watering I noticed my tiny tomato plant was sprouting not one, not two, but THREE tomatoes. My first three homegrown tomatoes
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
I have one in my living room right now!
This last week Jon's company, Demand Evolution, announced to the world that they were ready to take orders for their multi-touch screens. They've had an awesome response from people out there in Internet Land and it is truly amazing how easily word is passed by a simple "tweet" or one swift click on the "share this" icon." I think it's been really exciting for Jon after over a year of innovation and very exciting for his partners as well.
So for my readers that don't know what multi-touch technology is (which is presumably all of you) let me break down the two Demand Evolution products so that you can get an idea of what they really do and how they do it.
1. The Gecko:
Unlike when you use an ATM and can only use one action, when you use a multi-touch screen you can grab and move, drag and select items in several places at once. You can enlarge photos by pulling on them and you can type on a keyboard on screen.
There are a few ways of doing this - Demand Evolution uses cameras that watch fingers moving by turning them in to mouse points. Infrared light illuminates the front of the screen so that when fingers touch they reflect light, which the camera is filtered to see. Jon relates what the camera sees to what it looks like when you hold a flashlight up to your fingertips.
The Gecko is a complete 30" LCD screen and has crystal clear resolution.
2. The Kit
The kit is essentially the same as the Gecko, but with a different display method. It is designed to be portable, durable but most of all affordable for developers, musicians or anyone else working with multi-touch technology. It is 50" and requires some assembly and a projector.
As my mom, grandmother, friend or coworker, someone who is not working with multi-touch at all, you might wonder how in the hell you would put one of these to use. How is it practical to use this in your everyday life? The truth is the ways that you will use it are as yet undefined. Jon's products are just the hardware for the next generation of computer interaction. It's up to the software developers to create the best ways to use it.
Of course Demand Evolution will have a few ideas of their own...
So for my readers that don't know what multi-touch technology is (which is presumably all of you) let me break down the two Demand Evolution products so that you can get an idea of what they really do and how they do it.
1. The Gecko:
Unlike when you use an ATM and can only use one action, when you use a multi-touch screen you can grab and move, drag and select items in several places at once. You can enlarge photos by pulling on them and you can type on a keyboard on screen.
There are a few ways of doing this - Demand Evolution uses cameras that watch fingers moving by turning them in to mouse points. Infrared light illuminates the front of the screen so that when fingers touch they reflect light, which the camera is filtered to see. Jon relates what the camera sees to what it looks like when you hold a flashlight up to your fingertips.
The Gecko is a complete 30" LCD screen and has crystal clear resolution.
2. The Kit
The kit is essentially the same as the Gecko, but with a different display method. It is designed to be portable, durable but most of all affordable for developers, musicians or anyone else working with multi-touch technology. It is 50" and requires some assembly and a projector.
As my mom, grandmother, friend or coworker, someone who is not working with multi-touch at all, you might wonder how in the hell you would put one of these to use. How is it practical to use this in your everyday life? The truth is the ways that you will use it are as yet undefined. Jon's products are just the hardware for the next generation of computer interaction. It's up to the software developers to create the best ways to use it.Of course Demand Evolution will have a few ideas of their own...
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Trivial Things
Jon and I have taken to playing Trivial Pursuit when we don't have anything else going on. Actually, to be more clear we don't PLAY it because board games with two people are about as fun as playing catch with yourself. We just ask each other questions back and forth; a veritable lightning round of impossible trivia.
I remember playing Trivial Pursuit once as a kid and I thought that the questions were so hard the experience lacked any amount of fun at all. That hasn't changed much really - on a good day we will know maybe 1/4 of the answers to the questions we ask each other, and that involves giving hints.
What further complicates the exercise is that our edition of Trivial Pursuit was purchased at Salvation Army and it is from 1981. The game actually pre-dates both Jon and I. Which means its more of a cold-war era obsessed historical journey than it is a rousing game of DIY jeopardy.
I get more answers right when I mentally prepare for the time warp. Back to a time when Hong Kong was still a crown colony of Great Britain. When Prince Charles and Diana were just married and the turn of the millenium was but a mere glow in the distance.
And I find it's best to remember that regardless of the category, chances are the answer is China, Mao ZeDong, Ronald Reagan, Gymnastics, Bay of Pigs, Robert McNamara, East Germany, Michael Gorbachev, Patti Hearst, Symbionese Liberation Army, Burma, First dog in space, Rhodesia - you get the point.
And when none of those seem to apply, I always answer jai alai. There is absolutely no reason for it and I have never actually seen anyone play this fast paced Basque originated sport, but friend I'll tell you it has proven correct on more than one occasion.
I remember playing Trivial Pursuit once as a kid and I thought that the questions were so hard the experience lacked any amount of fun at all. That hasn't changed much really - on a good day we will know maybe 1/4 of the answers to the questions we ask each other, and that involves giving hints.
What further complicates the exercise is that our edition of Trivial Pursuit was purchased at Salvation Army and it is from 1981. The game actually pre-dates both Jon and I. Which means its more of a cold-war era obsessed historical journey than it is a rousing game of DIY jeopardy.
I get more answers right when I mentally prepare for the time warp. Back to a time when Hong Kong was still a crown colony of Great Britain. When Prince Charles and Diana were just married and the turn of the millenium was but a mere glow in the distance.
And I find it's best to remember that regardless of the category, chances are the answer is China, Mao ZeDong, Ronald Reagan, Gymnastics, Bay of Pigs, Robert McNamara, East Germany, Michael Gorbachev, Patti Hearst, Symbionese Liberation Army, Burma, First dog in space, Rhodesia - you get the point.
And when none of those seem to apply, I always answer jai alai. There is absolutely no reason for it and I have never actually seen anyone play this fast paced Basque originated sport, but friend I'll tell you it has proven correct on more than one occasion.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Snuggle Buddies
Our cat loves to snuggle with Zephyr, our 12 year old Australian Shepherd. I can't tell if Zephyr loves the company or is just too old, too preoccupied with the complexities of life, to be bothered with moving. But either way - he seems to tolerate it.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Current Events
1. Office pregnancy: A quiet and shy coworker of mine is pregnant and today the news became official. But to be honest we had all been speculating over instant messages for a couple of weeks. When the 'baby bump' was pointed out to me, it became a mission to think of things to say to this pregnant coworker that might lead up to asking if there was a bun in the oven. "Hey, how far along are you...wiiiith the engineering on that website?"
2. Deevo: Jon is in the middle of editing video of his touchscreens for the company website. Every few months I look back on when he was building the first screen that was made out of scraps that literally included my Cover Girl compact mirror. There were some very serious McGuyver moments involved in its construction but it's cool to see how far it's come and exciting to see where it will go...
3. Internet still sucking: This might be new news to you, but my shitty wireless internet FEELS really really old. Both my regular laptop and my Dell Mini have serious issues connecting to the internet: It's either connected for 5 minutes and then needs to be "repaired" or it flat out doesn't work and I steal internet from various neighbors. Or my computer doesn't even remember that it has the capability to connect wireless at all - which is why I am currently hooked up to Ethernet. But then as I think about it, I realize that since I got my first laptop 7 years ago, I've never had a good wireless connection. 5 houses = 65% satisfaction with overall wireless experience. I feel the same way about a sluggish internet connection as I do being stuck in pointless traffic: Unpleasant.
4. Dominoes: Complete...
5. Failing: In the past 6 months I have committed out loud on the blog to drink more water, go to the gym and pack my lunch everyday, respectively. I have failed each of these goals, each in it's own way, but at least I've gone back to the gym this week.
Well... I didn't go today, but one is allowed a day or two off every now and then.
2. Deevo: Jon is in the middle of editing video of his touchscreens for the company website. Every few months I look back on when he was building the first screen that was made out of scraps that literally included my Cover Girl compact mirror. There were some very serious McGuyver moments involved in its construction but it's cool to see how far it's come and exciting to see where it will go...
3. Internet still sucking: This might be new news to you, but my shitty wireless internet FEELS really really old. Both my regular laptop and my Dell Mini have serious issues connecting to the internet: It's either connected for 5 minutes and then needs to be "repaired" or it flat out doesn't work and I steal internet from various neighbors. Or my computer doesn't even remember that it has the capability to connect wireless at all - which is why I am currently hooked up to Ethernet. But then as I think about it, I realize that since I got my first laptop 7 years ago, I've never had a good wireless connection. 5 houses = 65% satisfaction with overall wireless experience. I feel the same way about a sluggish internet connection as I do being stuck in pointless traffic: Unpleasant.
4. Dominoes: Complete...
5. Failing: In the past 6 months I have committed out loud on the blog to drink more water, go to the gym and pack my lunch everyday, respectively. I have failed each of these goals, each in it's own way, but at least I've gone back to the gym this week.
Well... I didn't go today, but one is allowed a day or two off every now and then.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)